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Saturday, May 20th 2023

Seeking Intimacy? Monogamous and Non-Monogamous Cl

Seeking Intimacy? Monogamous and Non-Monogamous Clients in the Sex Industry

This blog seeks to explore the different behavioural tendencies among clients of sex workers, particularly those who choose to visit only one sex worker regularly in contrast to those who opt to engage with multiple sex workers. Let's delve into the psychological, emotional, and social factors behind these preferences, while also considering the impact of these choices on the relationship dynamics between clients and sex workers.

The sex industry is marred by negative assumptions, judgements and stereotypes and comprises of individuals with various needs, desires, and preferences but does this play a part of the decision to be monogamous or not?

The Monogamous Client – Seeking Connection and Intimacy
Clients who exclusively frequent a single sex worker often fall into the category of seeking connection and intimacy, beyond the physical aspects of a sexual encounter. Studies have shown that monogamous clients generally develop feelings of attachment, care, and trust towards the sex worker they consistently engage with, resulting in a deeper exchange of emotions and vulnerability.

Such arrangements often enable the development of more personalised experiences based on mutual understanding, leading to a level of intimacy that is usually absent in one-off encounters. According to some research, the genesis of these monogamous relationships often stem from an emotional void, loneliness or dissatisfaction in the clients' personal lives, driving them to seek out companionship and emotional warmth through sex work.

Also, some clients believe that safety and security play a pivotal role in their decision to exclusively engage with a single sex worker. Trusting that their regular partner upholds safety standards and respects boundaries, eases anxieties and fosters a sense of comfort in relational stability over time.

The Non-Monogamous Client – Seeking Variety and Excitement
In comparison to monogamous clients, those who choose to engage with multiple sex workers are typically driven by a desire for variety, excitement, and novelty. Research indicates that diverse sexual encounters and an inclination to avoid attachment or deeper commitments encourage non-monogamous clients to opt for transient and distant relationships.

Such clients are often attracted to the opportunity to explore different sexual experiences and partners. These motivations could stem from thrill-seeking, exploring fantasies, or embracing personal autonomy in their intimate lives Consequently, these clients may view sex and intimacy as separate entities, preferring the transactional nature of the sex industry to fulfil their physical needs without compromising their emotional selves.

Additionally, non-monogamous clients may perceive risks associated with exclusively engaging with one sex worker. Concerns such as developing unhealthy attachments, boundaries blurring, or the potential for being manipulated or exploited are some factors that compel clients to maintain a level of emotional distance by pursuing multiple partners.

Is there Interplay between Stigma and Client Behaviour?
The stigma associated with the sex industry inevitably impacts clients behaviour and preferences. Monogamous clients might find comfort and security in reducing the risk of exposure to the myriad of stereotypes prevalent in sex work by maintaining an exclusive relationship – potentially avoiding perceived judgements.

On the other hand, non-monogamous clients may believe that embracing the thrill of engaging with multiple partners could liberate them from societal expectations and norms, and validate their involvement in the sex industry. Their desire for detachment could be seen as a response to the judgement faced by clients of sex workers.

So what's the answer? There are multiple factors that influence clients' preferences when interacting with sex workers. Those who exclusively engage with a single sex worker generally seek emotional intimacy, familiarity, and safety, while clients who opt for multiple partners prioritise variety, excitement, and maintain a level of emotional detachment through transient encounters. Furthermore, as the stigma attached to sex work impacts these behavioural preferences, understanding these dynamics can help facilitate empathy, kindness, and promote safe spaces where both clients and sex workers can engage in more open conversations and connections.

Tuesday, April 11th 2023

Easter digging.

Firstly, I am typing this on my phone so please forgive me if I miss any mistakes on this small screen.

So, Easter weekend has come and gone and to be honest, I worked fir most of it but I am enjoying the beautiful weather and school holidays to get down the allotment and put in all my fruit bushes. I've got a real interest in perennial vegetables so have ordered more this year. My walking onions are going to be a thing to behold.

Easter Sunday was wonderful and doing an egg hunt was such fun even if it was cold and in my jammies! Sunday lunch at a nice cozy pub with my family is worth it's weight in gold. I am a real family person and spending time with them fulfills my life more than all the money and possession in the world.

I am going on a wee trip to Reading today for business and pleasure which should be fun x I am ready for summer days and Tequila in the garden x

Saturday, March 18th 2023

Not all it seems..

It was 2006.

I’d find myself single again after a tragic ending to a 3 year marriage…

For 5 years, I was whoring it up, earning the cash in hand for being on my knees on the best carpets in Hampshire. I was also working with learning disabilities teenagers so some might say I was living a double life, nothing unusual I’d say..

I ran 9 miles a day in sun, rain and hail and had a wonderful circle of friends who I spent many a night with trying to order more alcohol at 4am..

Then I met.. HIM. Looking around on a dating site with no intention of contacting of of these poor suckers.

Suddenly, I was on a date and for 6 months we became conjoined twins, the all powerful love and infatuation and fantastic sex. I stopped escorting the night I met him.. I never told him about my shady sex past and never would..

Till I had Tequila..

I came in from walking home at 1am with my old school friend. I had watched her meet and hook up with some couple from friend finder and had walking home warm in the Tequila, love and sex era.

I called him; I insisted on telling him my dark and murky escorting past and believe me, I told him it was years ago. He told me his secret… he had been accused of murdering a man. I felt closer to him, like we both had a past and mine was safe with his.

I should have known better…

Fast forward to new year and I am locked in my bathroom. Locked into my own bathroom, a safe place the police said, find a room with a lock. I was sitting on the toilet, in my fluffy onesie I have received for Christmas. Dressed like an animal while I heard the police cars pull up and arrest the holder of the secrets.

We had had the best of all nights, he had brought me warm apple jack while I bathed. We had spent the night celebrating with my school friends and their families. We had danced at midnight and got into shopping trolleys waiting for the taxi to arrive..

Now I was sitting damaged, my house was damaged and he was in the back of a van for the second time that evening.

A long with the damage was the realisation that just because someone says your secret is fine, doesn’t always make it so. Months and months of him digging up my old photos, profiles, making up email addresses and trying to catch me in a lie.

There was no lie, I was working at a Psych hospital and leading a boring life, doing my degree and driving a crappy Corsa. Where was all this money he thought I was making? I couldn’t afford Primark never mind Prada.

In that moment of brokenness, my teenage son called me, to wish my happy new year… no… screaming down the phone about my photos on FB. This guy had posted all my old photos on his profile, tagged all of my family and friends. My mum, my children who were all late teens at the time.. added my address for his friends to come and see me.. Now, this was not illegal then. He broke no laws. I could do nothing. I had to beg this man to take them down. Call the guy who had broken me physically, emotionally and mentally all in one night. Beg him to take them down.

My son intervened.. told him ‘this is my mum’ … Heartbreaking doesn’t cover it..

I will never share this secret again, if I choose to leave this business again for a man.. which I will not.. it will be a secret in my head forever...

Friday, March 17th 2023

Are escorts and cam girls struggling?

I just caught a twitter from an American sex worker and made me want to just write a quick blog.

As I have said a lot I started escorting around 1999/2000. I did visits and charged exactly what I do now. Work was over flowing and I didn't have time to do the amount of work I had. Fast forward to 2013, I stopped working till 2018.

Again, it was the same thing; I worked for an agency for around 6 months and then back working for myself. Business was busy, of course I had the same slowness on certain months and certain weeks but overall, still more work than I could do.

When Covid started to hit I was still working at the hospital and so got stuck because my bf at the time would have not seen me for 2 years as he cared more about Covid than his gf in all avenues so I just sat at home. I had a couple of lovely regulars who supported me money wise but that was it.

Since Covid has subsided we are now stuck in another hell of rising prices and jobs not paying for the level of expertise they expect.

On Twitter, all the cam girls appear to be struggling yet escorts still seem to be stuck in the 2000s with that attitude of

Nooooooooo, I am sooooo busy, I am seeing 20 men a day and they are paying me hundreds or I am soooo exclusive, I only see one man a day and he pays me thousands.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have been told for years that girls DO NOT EVER discuss being slow or broke. BUT, in this season of EVERYONE in the world struggling, I find it hard to believe our business is not being affected. It doesn't matter how stunning you are, body type etc etc.

The reason I bring this up is because I worry for girls who are struggling and looking at other girls lying and keeping up the pretense that they are raking in money. Also, I have read articles saying girls are turning to sex work to pay their bills because there is still the illusion that escorts are still earning thousands just for wearing a matching bra and knickers set. This is simply not true.

Most girls who are still earning well are not just escorting. They are doing other things that I can't say because this site wont let me post it. They have clients who they have been seeing for years. Long term loyal clients.

I have a friend who escorts and she doesn't have that client base and is seeing maybe 2 clients a week.

We are all in this together, if clients are struggling, the providers will also be struggling. It makes sense. I would love girls and guys to open up a conversation around this and it is a shame there isn't a thread board on this platform.

My email is always open for girls, any time who are struggling on weeks. I will never lie and tell you I am busy if I'm not

Lets get some good karma going and support each other x

Monday, March 6th 2023

Out and About..

I have been a bit of a jet setter over last few weeks and decided to drive to Edinburgh to visit a previously seen client who has moved there and a few others in a tour like situation.

I had a delightful mosy up there stopping at Knutsford for the night and travelling on to a central hotel over looking a park and a Primark! While I was there I had a long look around the grey fryers Kirk yard and the spooky underground vaults. I had a wonderful time and my client met me and took me to a lovely vegetarian restaurant and a cocktail bar after. I felt totally spoilt and it was a much needed getaway.

Last week, I took an actual total rest and flew to Copenhagen to see Louis Capaldi at the Royal Arena and soak up some culture. There is a place for sitting by the pool, but my favourite holidays are the soaking in of other people's way of life and this place really was something.

The public transport really was second to none and with a Copenhagen card you could go on all public transport. We got trains and the metro everywhere and it was so well thought out. Everything was clean, well sign posted and covered 99 zones. I really enjoyed travelling the Metro all day and they came every 5 mins so you were on your way without waiting ever.

We visited the History museum which was huge like ours and the medical museum which had body parts in jars and lots of babies! The Zoo was great and I met a panda which was so exciting. I also had the best veggie burger of my life.

Louis Capaldi was brilliant and I managed to spend 40 quid on wine!

Anyway, I will definitely be going back when it is warmer as it was snowing when we left and bitter!

Next stop will be Italy but lets get back to work for now x

Tuesday, January 31st 2023

Kent Tales, where it began

When people ask how I got into this job and why I stay in it.

I moved to Kent In 2002, previously I had worked for an escort agency in Portsmouth and it gave me a great start in the escorting world.

Lets roll back.. why was I in Kent? I’d like to say I was making lots of cash and ruling the world but actually, I was a typical Gosport girl who didn’t come from a typical Gosport childhood. I was brought up in a 4 bed, double garage, 2 car home. But I involved myself in the fruitier side of life in the council estates being around drugs, under*ge sex, back room tattoo shops and loving close families. I needed to escape my own shit.. I was running, far away…

I had met a man who offered me the world.. now this man is still in my life and I have to point out I owe this man a lot. He took on and brought up my 3 children and would still do anything for me so I am not bashing him in any way. I was in my 20s a force to be argued with. I was damaged.

I worked in social care during the day earning terrible money and away from my kids doing 24 hour shifts. It wasn’t long before I was sitting in D*wn’s dining room seemingly in the middle of a kids birthday party or some such. She owned a beautiful old Victorian home in Strood, I looked around at all the wood floors and rich colour walls until a puppy bounced in; a child..another child.. and in walked this beautiful woman. Not beautiful in the traditional sense but refined, red head. I imagine in a pencil skirt and heels but I don’t know if that is accurate. I do remember she wore a beautiful gold charm bracelet.

She owned an agency but I have blanked the name oddly. It was crystal or diamond or some such. I had an interview of the usual questions.. was offered those weight loss drugs that make you shit yourself and then I left LOL She wrote some books on the subject anyway if you want to make her some cash LOL. This I would say was the start of my ‘proper’ escorting career. Back in Portsmouth I only worked enough to put clarkes on my kids feet but meeting Dawn turned me into the ‘high end escort’ that is portrayed by our Billy Piper.

I love the thought of those escorting days! Before the internet ruined it. The paper adverts. I remember sitting at Dawn’s kitchen table while she counted the girls money. It was £150 per hour and £50 was Dawns. So, believe me, in the early 90s there were a lot of 50s to count LOL The whole farmhouse wooden table was covered in vibrant colours of 50 and 20 pound notes. Some needed cleaning off as a suspicious white substance clung on for dear life. Obviously, mostly the 50s because rich Kent business men would never snort with 20s.

It was glamorous, Dawn treated her girls like friends, she had birthday and Christmas parties at the Vault in Rochester. It was like living in a film… I wonder where she is now..

Friday, January 27th 2023

Kent Tales pt2.

I had a client back in the early 2000s. Physically, I don't remember a lot about him, but I do remember he lived in the most beautiful house with big Victorian fireplaces in every room. It was like a Victorian cottage with wood floors and small rooms. I also remember the parking was a bloody nightmare. He booked 2 hours every other week and I enjoyed his company but...

There was something about him..

He always looked like he had had a rough night, a bit unwashed if you like.. like he's been up all night drinking absinthe.

The last time I met him, I was wearing a black pencil skirt, sky high heels and my saddle bag at 10am in the morning. I'm really feeling myself and I knock and enter as usual. He was slumped in his leather chair in front of the TV and was drinking red wine. At 10am on a week day. Now I was in my late 20s and had zero education of Psych and mental health like I do now apart from a shitty A level in Psychology which taught me about Pavlov's dogs and a Skinner box. Both unhelpful..

I ended up feeling like i'd turned up at a funeral in a giraffe costume as he regaled how his wife had left him, he had spent all their savings on whores (ME) alcohol and gambling.. He had the wood fire on and I was melting but too scared to move as he looked like he was about to either end himself in front of me or end us both. I ended up there about 4 hours and I am pretty certain I didn't help his situation one bit. I collected my fee and left at the first safe opportunity..carrying my shoes in one hand.

I think I cried all the way home with a sense of extreme shame for being part of this man's problem and fear that he could have killed me or himself. I called my then husband at work, he didn't understand my flurry of tears.

Now, I feel I should point out the different culture back then. Escorts kept their mouth shut at all costs, we were like a church or an AA meeting. My attitude is different today but my tool box is different today.

I have no idea how this guy's story ended, I hope he sorted it out. I never heard from him again.

Thursday, January 26th 2023

The rubber man

I was thinking about how narrow my escorting life has become now I am 48 and it made me think about when I was in my late 20's, and how my escorting style has changed. I know with 100% certainty that I was pretty basic compared to now. I was taught by the agency owner that you don't kiss, you don't reveal your name or life in any way. When I left the agency, I completely changed. I set up my website and worked on my own terms.

One of the guys who sticks out in my memory is a guy called Peter. I was pretty adventurous back then. If someone had a kink I wanted to know it. Peter was a man in his 70s. He had a white beard and such a kind face. When I think of him, I picture my bedroom in Kent like it was yesterday. The wood floors and the full wall of mirrors.

He booked half an hour and he always gave me crisp ironed £50 note which I still detest. Don't give me £50 notes!!!! He looked like an nice gentle blow job man, a quick on top, conversation and off type man..

He came to my room, asked me to strip naked and opened his carrier bag producing a green silk coat and laid it lovingly on the bed. Ok I thought, weird but ok.. He turned me and laid me on the coat and I remember it being the coldest feeling, laying on this material naked, I quickly realised it was rubber lined. The weird smell of rubber like wellies. I slipped my arms in the sleeves and he zipped me up. Now, Peter had a surprising big penis and he was the first client I orgasmed with just with his cock. I think he started my kink for old men lol

Peter ended up buying me a variety of different rubber coats (had to be a coat) and I saw him up until I moved back to Hampshire. I still have the coats in the attic and I can't imagine I will ever wear them again. I wonder if he is still enjoying girls in rubber, be interesting to know...

Friday, January 13th 2023

Happy new year

My feet are so itchy, they are on fire!

I have looked at so many properties in my home town and my family there are recommending towns and villages to move to and as is my nature I just want to pack up and disappear forever. Deep inside my DNA, I have the need for change and to seek out new experiences and new people while also holding an envy for people who marry young and still are happy 30 years later. My spirit is so free I levitate and need someone to pull me down! I need a camper van to explore the country and love every second of nature, get rid of all chattels apart from what goes in my van. My body needs to catch up with my mind or I will be a helium balloon slipping its owners small hand and billowing off in the wind.

I have spent so much time wondering why no man has ever wanted to capture me, to put me in a jar and admire me and now at 47 I realise that the ones that let me go probably loved me the most. I will never be what is required for a successful relationship as it is just not possible. I am a hummingbird, I collect just enough nectar and then I fly away.

When I hear of sex workers dating clients and marrying them etc it is alien to me. It is nothing personal, it is not because you are ugly etc I just don’t easily get attached to people. Don’t get me wrong; I have a loved one person, someone I thought was my soul mate but he most definitely not only wanted to a jam jar to put me in but one of those boards that you pin butterflies to lol Sometimes people think they have trapped a beautiful Red Admiral and they open their fist and it is a brown moth.

Monday, July 18th 2022

Diary of a Pansy Pink cam model

I feel like I have two alias now as I have become a Rose and a Pansy in the adult world. Both beautiful flowers and so I try to live up to their beauty.

I have been camming on Adultwork for around 3 years and I know I have shared my thoughts on camming on previous blogs. Compared to escorting, camming on this site is a little soulless, vacuous if you will. You sit in front of the laptop waiting for someone to click your profile and then once they get a look at you, they click off or they ask you to do the same thing the last 50 men asked you to do as quickly as possible.. rarely any conversation .... Now, I am not saying it is all like that, I have met some lovely men and had some lovely times but mostly it is cheap skates trying to get a cheap wank.

Now, my motto in life is rather than complain about shit, you have to change it so I did.. Never continue on with something that no longer makes you happy..

So, I followed a few cam models on the tube and I researched some sites that only did cam girl stuff rather than it being a sideline.

So, I started on a Friday morning; these sites are like LIVE, you click stream and you are live till you log off. You chat in guest and then go to private or exclusive to be paid for services and let me tell you it was the best time of my life!!! Now, I am totally open about the ADHD thing and well aware I am an acquired taste and talk a lot, curse a lot and generally don't care much for others opinion of me and this stream was made for me!! I made more in the first week than most make in a month interacting with the loveliest people both in the UK and USA mostly but all over the world. I have beautiful pictures of Taiwan from a native there that I'd never have had.

People tip you just for smiling, being funny, moving into different positions, tip from your gold menu and let me tell you; The lush 2 is the greatest toy ever invented!! I am a lover of the vibrating toy and having tips for a 5 sec vibe is bloody great!!

Now, having said all this it will never replace escorting because it is proper human interaction but at the moment my time for that is pretty limited with other commitments so camming is perfect compromise. I'd love to see adultwork level up to a proper cam site and look after their girls instead of just their clients but doubt that will ever happen!!

Right, gorgeous people, it is 24c already here and it is 08:30 so I fully intend to enjoy the sun till I am back on the cam at 10pm xxxx I love you all xxxx

Wednesday, June 15th 2022

Being the ex sugar baby

Oh baby, I am 47 and every day is a learning day...

Let me tell you a story.. the story of a kept woman.. a woman who fell for the line..
I'm not sure who burned who and feel free to email me with your opinions..

Now, lets go back to pre-covid, I was popping in my career. I was working hard in this industry escorting and camming and loving life both as a sex worker and in my life and then covid happened.. Everything happened and I was left vulnerable to a person who seemingly had deep pockets and wanted nothing but to protect little old me and pay my bills..

I did cam with this man when we were not allowed to see people and as it went to bubbles, he wanted to be my bubble and he paid for me time as normal but fast forward to Christmas and bam this man wanted to fund my bills on the 1st of every month and I fell for it....

To put it into context, this client was involving himself in my life, I am writing this with hindsight so it is very very obvious now... did some DIY, paid dinner dates, flowers, Easter presents, Christmas presents, birthday presents..

Then I am suddenly getting messages saying 'oh are you working today?' 'oh not sure about that picture, that comment on an external site' 'that picture on private is below you' 'you said you were doing this but you are doing that' '
I'm over here starting to think... mmmmm... he is paying my bills so I will note it and just DO AS HE SAYS/SUGGESTS! Well that didn't fly for long, every time I shared with him that I was going to a concert or out with friends etc I was getting messages calling for my attention; I am so depressed, whats the point of carrying on.. I'm starting to not tell him things; like going abroad twice last year and hiding it, going to Manchester to a concert; going to the IOW for the weekend..

I was suddenly what seemed to be a very coercive relationship and how the fuck did this happen with a client I have NO feeling for!

Then suddenly, he calls me and says he has raked up some serious debt and the gaslight is that he was in debt because he was seeing me and helping me during covid..

I AM AN ESCORT, NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND; MY BOYFRIEND GETS THIS PUSSY FOR FREE.

So, with a week of notice, that's it; no more bills being paid.. and a valuable lesson was learned as my car is still in the garage with timing chain gone and hustling to make the money lost by this guy.

I go back to a previous blog post that says you cannot be friends with clients and I stand by it in terms of letting someone dictate how you should live your life and accepting help from people. I was suddenly stuck in this negative space that I CREATED..

Monday, February 14th 2022

Happy Valentines day!

It is the day of love my people! I met the first love of my life on Valentines's day 30 years ago today and ever since then I've not met anyone i'd rather spend it with x I have been really spoiled by lovely regular clients and my room looks like a florist and my bathroom like Lush!

I have woken up this morning to beautiful sunshine and I am looking forward to getting out on my bike at some point today after I've been out for lunch. I am looking forward to spring days and getting down the allotment to start the season. My daffodils are already out down there and my little leeks are about 3 inches high in my conservatory already and my tomatoes are getting their second leaves so it is all go. There is so much going on and so much to look forward to I can't wait to get March started!!!

Right, this was a quick check in and now I have university work to start my people

C x

Tuesday, February 8th 2022

Juggling Act

Does anyone else get up in the morning with such positive intentions and by 9am they are doing everything except what they are supposed to be doing?

I feel and know my attention span is extremely compromised on the best of days and i'd definitely forgotten how hard I find it to concentrate for long periods without a packet of polos or a fidget spinner of some description but most definitely I remember now! I lived on spearmint polos and fidget toys during my original degree and now sitting here reading about self gratification theory and Instagram I am now doing this blog ... distracting myself again.. Of course self gratification is something I know a lot about and it's my favourite thing to do in the afternoons with a biggest dildo known to man but this assignment unfortunately isn't for that.

I have folded clothes; bathed and shaved; picked off my nail polish; tidied up my lounge after a whirlwind was around it yesterday; finding things hidden in the toy box that definitely shouldn't be there. But, now I need to get back to researching the dark triad and Instagram gratification.. Cyberpsychology is a relatively new psychology and it is nice to see new research rather than skinners box and Freud and his old shite.

I'm listening to Jessica Simpson album and 'sipping on history' definitely makes me emotional on the best of days but today I feel like my brain is trying to illicit any emotion that distracts me from doing any university work lol! For anyone needing to know what having ADHD ADD symptoms are like; it's like having 10 feelings or emotions at once or being 10 different people at once and everything becomes jumbled and confused as one trying to fight to the surface. Exhausting! Many years ago, when I did my Counselling diploma I was pulled in by my tutor who grilled me about writing my report in various different handwriting and at the time I believe she was trying to say I had DID ( dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder ) which now makes me laugh as I look through my handwritten notes now in different handwriting and it is no more than my state of distraction.

I'm sending SPECIAL SPECIAL love to my friend in this blog as I know he will read this; He is one of a kind, most loving and caring person I know and he keeps having such tragedy and saying 'I'm sorry' is just so redundant at this point

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, January 11th 2022

Happy new year

Just a quick update; I'm certain my silence hasn't gone unnoticed so firstly, happy new year!

An extremely slow start to January as the entire family went down with the black death and I again was watching fireworks out of the window for the second year in a row! Wouldn't have been so bad if the shower and then boiler hadn't packed up so there we have it, smelly and sick.

My first day back in education and cyberpsychology is first up and let me tell you how ironic it is to talk about the self and which self we present whether online or offline. I feel like I have many personalities doing this job 'secretly'. so it has been an interesting start.

I have high hopes for this year and want to soak in every single minute with positive vibes and only putting good thoughts out into the world

I love you all

C x