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Friday, April 27th 2018

Spring 2018

Hello Sexy Friends!

After a promising start to the year things have gone rapidly DOWNHILL, not least because of the FOSTA/SESTA nonsense across the Pond. Dunno what the hell I’m talking about? Well, I’m not surprised because it seems VERY FEW of you men know anything about it or care by the looks of it. A bit like the complacency surrounding the forthcoming Digital Economy Act. Yeah I know everybody’s out there working and worrying about jobs and Brexit and football, but FOSTA/SESTA and DEAct are a big deal for us in the Adult Industry AND YOU as a punter and lover of Porn!

So what’s FOSTA all about? Basically its a law rushed through in a matter of weeks to clamp down on sex trafficking. FOSTA stands for ‘Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act’ while SESTA is ‘Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act’. Of course we ALL KNOW that ALL ESCORTS are victims and we’re ALL BEING TRAFFICKED right? Over the last couple of years in particular, escorts, hookers, prostitutes, hoes, even doms ...we’re all finding ourselves lumped into one category by our political & religious masters….we’re all victims of trafficking. We’re all on drugs, we all have habits, and not one of us has a brain & not one of us does sexwork through choice, Got that? No, I’m NOT exaggerating here. You’re no doubt thinking what the hell does a law passed in America have to do with us here in Blighty? Well, my friends, as it happens, a HELLUVA LOT.

You see up to now, the internet has been governed by laws from a decade or more back...laws which basically freed internet sites or more correctly providers of platforms for content, of any legal responsibility for what third parties posted on that platform. Some of you will have heard of BackPage and there was another big gay escort site I forget the name of..cutting a long story, Law Enforcement & Government perceived most of Backpage’s content to be sexworkers who had been trafficked, and/or under-age. It WASN’T but Backpage was raided and shut down overnite anyway, directors arrested and charged for ‘facilitating trafficking’ etc etc. So prior to the laws passed just three weeks ago, the US authorities DID have the power to shut down such sites, but no matter; Senators jumped on the bandwagon, and saw it as a good opportunity to shut down sexwork full stop (we all know the power of the religious Right in America, PLUS prostitution is illegal in almost every US state), and some undoubtedly saw it as an opportunity to effectively censor free speech, for example, criticism of Government, whistle blowing etc. And that’s what happened. If you’re a Brit like us, working entirely legally here in the UK, and your site happens to be hosted on an American platform, you’re gone. Craig’s list personals vanished overnight. Google are removing pornographic content from people’s Drive without notice. Microsoft are banning nudity on SKYPE and even screening emails for pornographic images and blocking them.

A month ago I was at Eroticon in Camden and one of the workshops was about DEAct, something all us writers and pornographers are concerned about. At Eroticon there wasn’t a cheep about SESTA/FOSTA! It’s all come to pass within 5-6 weeks, done, dusted, and signed into law by Trump. So guys, if you’ve wondered why we’ve gone quiet on Twitter it’s because all sexworkers are getting booted off...we’re ALREADY shadow banned. We can’t be seen to be advertising sexwork, and neither can Twitter. We’re all still waiting to see the response of Twitter, though many escorts & doms have been kicked out. Some got together and formed a new platform specifically for Sex Workers; it’s called Switter and originates in Oz, hosted in Austria. In just 3 weeks, 50,000 sexworkers signed up including ourselves. We’ve been suspended for allegedly spamming: All we wanted to do was help other escorts with sales of {ahem} room aromas and websites, but our protestations of goodwill fell on deaf ears, and we’re still banned (and unlikely to return). Switter got taken down last week by CloudFlare who were helping them host it…CloudFlare, although historically supporters of free speech worried they too could be shut down under the act and arrested; Switter found themselves another platform and got up and running again after a 6 hour break. Fairplay to them. You see, my friends, this is all getting nasty. The golden days of the internet and FREE SPEECH ONLINE are OVER. Did you wonder why the Head Millennial as I call him aka Zuckerberg was so reticent about responsibility surrounding Cambridge Analytica? It’s because his organisation too has been facilitating stuff posted by others and not legally been required to be accountable. Until now, with the change of the law. So folks, browse online for escorts WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

We’ve been escorts for many years, and the truth is, AW is the best out there as a portal, by a country mile. It remains to be seen, how they will navigate the choppy waters ahead, not least because our own Authorities here in the UK are sure to follow the American example, if only to silence protest & restrict consensual paid sex. They’re already patting themselves on the back over the DEAct, showing off to the world that Britain is setting an example with regard to age verification of porn. At Eroticon there was a lawyer telling us all about the Act. The guy might as well have been a representative for the BBFC, the crowd trusted with enforcing the Act. (British Board of Film Censors) The same people who give the likes of Fifty Shades an 18 Cert FFS! We’ve seen more erotic scenes in the ‘Sweeney 2012’ and more recently ‘In The Line of Duty’. The legal eagle told us he saw no problem with age verification and said that in many areas of life today in Britain, age verification had become the norm, and accepted. What planet is this man on? Does he REALLY BELIEVE that Mr Married Man who’s watching porn surreptitiously downstairs for hours after ‘her indoors’ has toddled off to bed, does he SERIOUSLY BELIEVE this man is going to age verify using credit cards/passports/driving licenses etc each and every site he visits? There’s talk of a scheme whereby one age-verifies once then you’ll be able to access multiple sites:..and the people who are going to finance all this? The porn sites themselves, so guess what, no more small players. Like us. There’s also talk they’re going to be going after the Top 100 sites first, and the smaller people needn’t worry. I doubt this. Maybe they will, but I can guarantee 5 of the Top 100 will be minnows, made an example of by the heavy hand of the State in the form of BBFC. Apparently implementation of the Act has been postponed to allow for further consultations, but rest assured, it IS going ahead. So my friends, your PORN HABIT/ENJOYMENT is coming under serious fire, and I would suggest you do what we’ve been doing lately and that is to gen up on VPNs and the Dark Web. The latter sounds quite sinister doesn’t it, but nothing is further from the truth. Yes, its been used for all kinds of illegal trades over the past decade or so, but that is changing as more and more ‘ordinary bods’ seek it’s shelter in the name of ANONYMITY and a bloody mindedness that we’re NOT GOING TO LET GOVERNMENT CONTROL US ANY MOE THAN WE CAN HELP, so guys, look for Tor Project and you’ll find it very easy to upload a browser to your machine. That way, no-one can trace where you are or what you’re looking at, so seeing as the DEAct applies to British viewers of porn, Tor makes you appear French or German or wherever. What about your internet service provider I hear you ask...they too may shut you down if they see you on Tor, however, if you go a step further, and pay for a VPN, you’re covered on that angle too, and it doesn’t cost that much. So do some homework, and stick two fingers up to the holier than thous.

Change is happening at breakneck speed, and I see so many folk well behind the curve, completely OBLIVIOUS to any of it. Left and right are joining forces, some are even using #MeToo to bridge the gap between the two political extremes, unlikely I know, but TRUE. Cosmopolitan was a recent casualty….pressure from activists forced Walmart to take it off their shelves next to checkouts, because it was deemed to be ‘sexualising children’. Last week, in America & here in the UK, ‘concerned parents’ took children out of school in protest over graphic sex education...education which had become increasingly liberalised over recent years…ABSTINENCE is the new Sex Education folks. Just a year ago we were marvelling at the growing acceptance of ‘Sex Positivism’. THAT is what they should be teaching in schools. And it gets worse. Yesterday on Social Media, a dom dressed in black lace got deleted, because it was deemed too sexual….no nipples, no nudity…just a suggestion of ‘SEXY’…..binned off, like the girl said, we’re heading back to the 1880’s. And I think she’s right. Sad times.

The problem we have is we’re living in a world of extremes with no middle ground, and we’re led (if that’s what we can call it) by folk lacking experience and most of all JUDGMENT. Did you hear the story this week about the Government Minister’s PA who’s come under fire for touting herself out as a Sugar Babe? Apparently she got set up by an undercover reporter posing as a Sugar Daddy on some controversial website for such people, and the girl bragged she knew all about the Minister, his work, his life, the whole chabang, setting the Minister up to be blackmailed. Questions are being asked, and she’s under investigation, not least because as a civil servant she’s bound by the Official Secrets Act, though by all accounts, she doesn’t care. What amazes me, is this: OK, the minister (Age late 40s & tipped as Prime Ministerial material) may have done nothing wrong BUT………anyone with a shred of Common Sense wouldn’t have taken on a young 20 year old as a PA in a sensitive Governmental role would they? It’s a bit like the senior MP who got caught out with rent boys; the dipstick chose a couple of Romanians to have sex and drugs with…again, a question of judgment! There are people like us as service providers who NEVER DIVULGE ANYTHING ABOUT NAMED CLIENTS! And that’s how it should be! We’ve talked about discretion before. And sometimes DISCRETION costs us. When we’re away touring we get many calls from non AW members to meet us. In Suffolk recently we had three guys get the hump because we wouldn’t give out our precise location. Guys, with a Feedback score of 137+ and a profile going back years we can be counted on as being GENUINE! So why don’t we give out exact location? Because we don’t know who you are. Many men seem to be ignorant of the fact that a couple working together, yes, even a married couple, can be arrested for keeping a brothel, IE 2 or more sex workers working together. If you’re phoning up out the blue, you could be anyone, so we ain’t gonna tell you where we are and room numbers etc until we’ve met you off the premises and sussed you out first, that’s if we even bother with you in the first place; at least if you’re an AW member of good standing with feedback then we know you’re a genuine player, OK? It’s called JUDGMENT! So get yourselves on AW and get some track record behind you! Outcalls by the way ARE legal as a couple. #JustSaying.

Another thing we came across at Eroticon was how the DEAct affected pornographic blogs. The good news is that anything text is not covered by the Act. The bad news is that pictures are, and a lot of what we’d like to write about and have written about (now removed) subjects like kidnap roleplay, squirting, face-sitting, piss, watersports, certain BDSM activities….they can fall foul of the Obscene Publications Act, so we’ve decided, reluctantly to shut down our well known sexblog. Who needs the hassle? Instead, we’re starting a new online magazine called GENSEX, and it’ll be talking about what fascinates us most about escorting; People’s problems, relationships, different attitudes towards sex across different generations, sexuality, all things that concern us on a daily basis. There will be guest articles too. GENSEX, is a play on GEN X who represent the majority of our clients, and GEN aka generations, since we see all ages from around 30 onwards up to 80+. The image on this blog is the new GENSEX logo for Social Media, Stay tuned! Stay Safe, until next time, Luv fun50couple xxx

PS: I almost forgot! We're looking for a couple of bisexual male models/performers for a paid June video shoot in the North East, Minimum age 35. Think you'd like to get involved? Get in touch.

Friday, January 26th 2018

January

Hello Sexy Friends!

Wow, the first month of 2018 almost over, where has the time gone? In between meeting sexy men from all corners of the country we’ve been busy on web development work and planning the year ahead. We’ve got trips coming up to Scotland and London again in March, when Geeze will be attending Eroticon, which is a 2 day conference for erotic writers held annually in Camden. Subscriber numbers to our national sexblog increase month on month but we’re keen to learn how to increase exposure and to learn more about legal restrictions coming in soon in the wake of Scameron’s Digital Economy Act

.

We’ve also booked a luxury hotel in Newcastle for a couple of nights in early Feb, so if you’re in town staying there on business we’ll be right on your doorstep; Despite being only 25 miles and just a 30 minute drive from our home of an evening, satnav journey predictions put some guys off from coming out to see us from Tyneside, so it’s a case of Muhammad going to the mountain. Are we allowed to say that in today’s Britain? We’ll find out maybe at Eroticon

February of course means one thing above all else…Valentine’s Day! Love it or Hate it, it’s big business, and a gift for some sectors in the middle of winter. In London it’s especially popular; it’s an occasion embraced by the Capital and feels very special…if you’ve been there on Valentines night you’ll know…not tacky at all, with smart restaurants doing brisk trade. Talking of tacky, we’ll be going to see Fifty Shades Freed which gets released around 12th Feb. It’s the final film in the FSOG trilogy, again, Love it or Hate it, Fifty Shades has done much to promote discussion among the younger generations about sex and kink which can only be good for our industry at a time when so many things are in turmoil. Valentines week sees us in Scotland, staying at a luxury hotel this time, close to the Queensferry Crossing. We’ve fallen out with our former preferred brand of hotel; incallers will know who we mean! Falling standards, rip off breakfasts, parking charges and other mean cost cutting measures introduced by the chain have forced us to look elsewhere, so from now on ‘Less is More’…LESS days touring but MORE high quality accommodation…so guys, you’ll be well and truly spoiled. We’ve always delivered a fun time but now the occasion will be even more memorable & special so check out our Tour Tab on the profile page and we’ll hook up soon OK?

Curvy ladies will know how ridiculously difficult it is to find upscale sexy lingerie to fit with High Street retailers totally out of touch with reality when it comes to bigger sizes in cup or hip. Why is it when most of us are 12-14-16 (average size in UK btw is a 16) the shelves are bereft of product? Is it because curvy women aren’t supposed to be sexy? (as the MSM would have you believe?) OK, so there are specialist boutiques, but they are invariably run by snooty madames who look down on brazenly sexy or ‘risque’ lingerie…their loss. Then there are fet shops, but they too carry limited stock…in short, there’s very little sexy stuff out there for the curvy lady unless you look hard, which means going online of course. Even there, until recently there’s been little, however, times are a’changing thankfully. Minx has discovered three wonderful stores…we’re probably not allowed to promote them here, needless to say, you men who visit will get to see some of her new wares up close and personal. And Geeze? Well there again, back in the day you could buy some quite sexy thongs on the High Street, but those days have long gone. Even online it’s hard to find stuff except the more extreme gay stuff. Work in progress…though he has found some neat wetlook wear, stay tuned.

So guys, that’s it for now. If you’re one of those men who have been browsing our profile for years waiting to pluck up the courage, then wait no more! Life’s short. Every month we see guys just like you. We don’t bite, we’re very friendly and non-judgmental, but most of all very discreet. We see increasing numbers of men in high profile jobs where in today’s fickle, politically correct and wired world, absolute discretion is a MUST. If that fairly describes YOU, then fear not, get in touch, but no withheld numbers, sorry. We’re going more international too with a trip to the States on the horizon, so if you want us to travel, pick up the phone. Spring is just around the corner and we’ve got a whole summer to look forward to…if WW3 hasn’t kicked off before then and we’re all vaporised! So until next time, have fun, Safe Sex always, Luv fun50couple xx

Wednesday, November 1st 2017

Where were you 23 years ago?

WHO were you 23 years ago?
A twinkle in your mother’s eye?
A spotty school leaver looking for a first job?
A sixth former studying A levels? (we like A levels

)

If you were aged 17/18 or over in the year 1994 you’ll be 40-41 today, and firmly in the Generation X camp. (born between 1965 and 1976). You’ll remember life as a kid in the 70’s and 80’s; you may vaguely recall daily news about the IRA, Black Wednesday, Scargill, mine closures, the demise of Thatcher, recession, John Major and his soap box….but I bet you won’t remember this: {sic}AW won’t let us put in a link sadly! But you should be able to find a YOU TUBE video entitled 1994: "Today Show": "What is the Internet, Anyway?" …take a look!

It’s hard to believe isn’t it that the internet has gone from something unknown 23 years ago, to where we are today. You’re reading this on Adult Work…which is a site we take for granted…back then if you wanted paid sex you cruised ‘to the wrong side of the tracks’ and took your pick from a street corner, or sought out one of those little A5 contact mags off the top shelf at the more risqué newsagents. Remember ‘NEW DIRECTION’?

Contrast that to today’s 23 year olds. They have NEVER KNOWN a world without digital technology. They have never had to cash a cheque, use a hard encyclopaedia for study, or open a metal filing cabinet. Their formative years have been made public in minute detail for all to see via Social Media. They’re a self-made brand of their own, believing they can do or be Anything They Want.

So what? Well my friends, I’m prompted to write this by what is going on TODAY. You see today in 2017, we're in a similar place to where we were in 1993 at the birth of the internet. How so? Something extraordinary is going on in the world of finance and currency, and most Britons remain blissfully unaware of it. When I say Blockchain, Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency, you’ll likely yawn and hit the CLOSE button….your loss.

Still here? GREAT …thank YOU xxx

Did you know that Scameron and Osborne (before they were sacked) planned to do away with cash TOTALLY by 2020?

Did you know that in France it is illegal to make cash transactions for more than £1000? And that Germany intends to withdraw big denomination notes completely? And that our own authorities are planning not to bring in a polymer £50 note because they too want rid of high denomination notes. The little see thru window btw on the new notes is reckoned to be there ready for a purpose…to accommodate a chip…google it…it’s frightening, it’s called ‘chipped cash’

Did you know that in India a year ago in 2016, with the country in financial crisis, their President went (unscheduled) live on TV to inform the country that in ‘four hours time, 500 and 1000 rupee notes would no longer be in circulation and would not be accepted as legal tender’and they were outlawed! At a stroke, millions lost their life savings, due to the actions of a desperate Establishment, trying to eliminate a black economy…over 90% of transactions in India are cash, compared to 79% in Germany and just 48% here in Britain.

What do all these things have in common? They are all moves being made by people in POWER to do away with cash. Making every transaction digital means they can control ALL and EVERY-BODY's money to the last penny. And steal it and tax it, to bail out the mountain of debt they and they're corrupt policies have encouraged and nurtured to keep them in power, but which now threaten to spin out of control.

Don’t think it can’t happen here my friends. For a good chunk of the 20th Century the World was at war, fought militarily. In the 21st Century, similar objectives are battled for, not with hard weapons, but financial instruments instead…in short we are still a World at War, a financial war. Couple that to political instabilities (think Trump, Brexit, the EU, Greece, Cyprus, Turkey etc) and any fool can see storm clouds on the horizon. Any fool can predict that WTSHTF (‘when the shit hits the fan’ LOL) that those who’ve got fat off the system will seek to maintain the status quo, at the expense of you guessed it, the man in the street AKA YOU and I. It’s entirely possible we may see ATM’s closed, restrictions on cash withdrawals, confiscations of savings etc etc and worse. I am not qualified to lecture about these things however I AM some-one who’s lived off my wits for 4 decades as a self-employed business person & citizen. I’ve been an avid follower of adult industry trends for 30 years. I like many of YOU was hit hard by the GFC of 2008, to then recover, only to be kicked again NOW with the Brexit debacle and years of uncertainty. What has this got to do with cryptocurrencies I hear you ask?

If you’re a punter it means a helluva lot. Every cloud has a silver lining. The 2008 GFC spawned Bitcoin. BTC was designed & created as a financial instrument ‘for the people’ by some-one we know only as Satoshi Nakamoto. ‘For the people’ because it’s anti-establishment, anti -politics, anti-bank, it’s private, and best of all ANONYMOUS, which fits very well with our industry. It also means ‘the great and the good’ AKA our ‘so called leaders’ as most of the sheeple perceive them to be, don’t like it, because it’s a THREAT to their way of life…their POWER. The technology we’re talking about is called Blockchain, and it’s a de-centralised network which transcends borders, controlled by ‘the people’ so it’s difficult for Government to stop. I’m in no doubt though that they’ll seek to destroy it, but there’s a sporting chance that may not happen, why? Because WTSHTF, our disgraced and desperate leaders, they too, will need somewhere to go to hide and maintain their wealth. It’s likely, for that reason, they’ll choose to leave it substantially intact, and not legislate against it, time will tell.

For us in the Adult Industry there’s another spanner in the works, in the form of the hated Digital Economy Act due to come into play Spring 2018. What this means is that YOU, our esteemed punter and lover of porn, phonesex, sexual services and general debauchery will come under its jurisdiction. This MAY (how I loathe those 3 letters) MEAN you will have to enter credit card details to each and every adult site you visit, in the name of protecting children blah blah AKA age verification. So do a little homework on crypto. It’s NOT rocket science. I’ve recently noticed our friends here, the proprietors of Adult Work, have started to offer the option of buying credits with bitcoin. Co-incidentally, we’ve also started doing the same on our own site, offering ‘bitcoin’ and ‘GAYmoney’ payment options. What does this mean to you and how does it work?

Briefly, you’ll need to open an account on a crypto exchange first. That’s easily done, but does require ID and a bank account. But that in itself has nothing to do with sex or adult material. Once you’ve got your account you need to buy some bitcoin. Bitcoin right now is around £4500 a ‘coin’ but you don’t have to buy a whole coin, which isn’t really a coin anyway…it’s nothing more than a string of code. So for example you could pay for a fraction of a bitcoin with a bank transfer. That bitcoin is stored in what’s called an online wallet. You will not arouse suspicions at all with significant others…you’re simply playing around with new technology…seeking to ride the wave. Let’s say you buy a hundred quid’s worth of coin…today that’s equal to the equivalent of around 0.020BTC. Now here’s the best bit. Once you’re in, you can make any number of transactions for anything to anybody TOTALLY ANONYMOUSLY, but still, with 100% proof of payment. So that means for example, you could pay for twenty quid’s worth of phone-sex without there being any record you were paying for adult entertainment, you wouldn’t need to call any premium line, and there’s no record on your bank statements; is that GOOD NEWS or what?

It also means, potentially in time, an end to the dreaded TIME-WASTERS who ‘no show’ and get away with it because they’re not site members, or those who ‘no show’ after booking because they’ve no feedback and nothing to lose. Savvy service providers already ask for deposits, especially when touring to offset hotel bills, however, in truth, this policy deters more than it brings in. Serious married punters can, admittedly, pay a deposit anonymously via cash over any bank counter, but its hassle. We ‘get’ that. We also understand that some of them may be reluctant to pay a deposit to some-one they don’t know, notwithstanding our excellent feedback going back years. Escorts working through big sites log on every day and it’s like home to them….Many punters however will only visit occasionally when they ‘feel the need’ so they are not used to the intricacies of the sites; few of them know about all the site features and benefits; they’re not really interested after all, they just want to FUCK. Crypto technology means that they can secure a booking in seconds by sending a deposit via the blockchain, with irrevocable proof of payment visible to both parties…but with NO visible ID! Bingo. And there’s more good news. Your £100 of bitcoin could very well have the buying power of £200 a few months down the line, with you doing nothing but leaving it there, as cryptos gain in value as the networks increase. BE AWARE though that the opposite could also be true, you could lose the lot. We’re in Wild West territory here, but so we were in 1994 with the internet. Don’t forget that. You might also have heard about Ether and Ethereum? I’ve bamboozled you here with TMI already, but suffice to say, Ether may just be even bigger than the internet, time will tell.

Should you get involved? We say YES. £1-200 isn’t much for most people to gamble. We get men regularly spending £50 on phone-sex FFS!! My guess is that many of you reading this will dismiss it as rubbish or think I’m a mug. That’s your prerogative. We as an escort couple make a living solely out of the oldest profession & need to constantly think outside the box to survive…as well as deliver excellent service so we benefit from repeat custom. Crypto may be scary stuff right now, but could easily become the ‘norm’ in a few short years, with an entirely new economy based upon it run by the people for the people. That’s what the Arab Spring was all about, ordinary people taking control, against oppression and exploitation. Spend an hour or two Googling this subject, look at Coinbase, Cryptocompare, Cryptopoia and others, most of all ‘Do Something Your Future Self Might Thank You For’ and look after #1; you heard it here first, OK?

PS: Now taking bookings for London Eltham & London Richmond 29th November – 2nd December. Please call for more info; Members with feedback book through the site, non members wanting to book in advance will need to secure with a deposit, and YES we take bitcoin . Alternatively you can risk leaving it and call us on the day to check for availability.

Bye for now & take care, Safe sex always, until next time, Luv fun50couple xxx

Monday, August 14th 2017

Its time to Party! And time to invest, Read more.

Hello Sexy Friends. We’ve met yet more FABULICIOUS blokes this past few weeks touring in the West Midlands, and just what we needed after some gloomy weeks in the North East. You can read about some of our meets in ‘fun50couple NEWS VIEWS n SCREWS’, it’s a sexblog that’s fast becoming popular, just pop it in your browser and take a look. Its 100% original content and NOT full of links, paid ads and blatant self-promotion like most others you see on the net. It’s just a fun read about our lives as professional escorts, and its 99% TRUE; you need to sign up to receive it, because its XXX content, though occasionally we let a couple go out on public view as a sample…you’ll find them easily. It costs nothing, no credit card details are required, and currently we publish it once a month usually around the 14th. At 5-6000 words it’s an interesting and horny script, take a look.

Main news for this month is that we’re putting on a party for bisexual and/or bi-curious men, ladies, and MF couples. It’s the first time we’ve done this, and we have some exciting plans for the future, but we need to learn to walk first. Basically it’s a party for like-minded people, bi-curious and bi-sexual, male, female, no expectations upon anyone, except to have a good time, with NO PRESSURE. It’s a weekday night from 7-30 till 11-30PM, in County Durham, North East England, with free transport laid on from and to Durham train station for those that need it. (for up to 6 people) Email us via the site for more details. We’ve no shortage of solo males already booked; applications from MF couples and single gilf/greedy-girl types would be most welcome though. We prefer upscale over 40’s please; Couples: one of you, preferably both of you must be at least ‘bi-curious’. Numbers anticipated are in the region of 14-20, made up of around 4-5 single guys, 3-4 couples, 2 bi gilfs and us pair, something like that anyway. There will be a charge for entry which will include transport as above, a Welcome Drink, refreshments, and free safe sex consumables/items for your comfort and convenience. With reference to single/duo gilf/milf greedy girls who are AW members we’re prepared to pay a fee to guarantee your very welcome attendance, so please contact us to find out more.

Other NEWS: We’ve been on here a number of years now, and regulars will know we’re people who DELIVER. We walk our talk. Our feedback is consistently excellent and we’ve even featured in celeb magazine CLOSER! So we’re planning to take things to a higher level, and the party is just one strand of that expansion. We're also busy upgrading our branded sextoy store FUN-FIVE-0, however, we can’t exploit these and/or other opportunities ripe for development, in a timely manner, on our own. So, we’re seeking investors. Seriously. Geeze has a business background going back 30 years. We’re forecasting a realistic 12-14% annual return on some sensible property related investment ideas connected to our industry which we know about, and that we want to implement. We believe there are dark days ahead with shaky Brexit wheelings and dealings, and absolutely NO guarantee of a successful outcome in the short to medium term. Sex sells though, and is an industry more resistant than most to these fluctuations of fortune/policy. We’re ideally looking for an individual passive (in the financial sense!!) investor, but also open to other more modern methods of fundraising, So get in touch if you’re interested in serious (initially informal) talks.

That’s all for now, have fun, safe sex always, Luv fun50couple xx

Tuesday, July 25th 2017

Summer fun

We’ve met some ABSOLUTELY FABULICIOUS GUYS in London through July! Rest assured we're coming back for more, and in the process of planning a semi-permanent presence inside the M25. We haven't seen much Summer in the North East (what's new?) so we've arranged a couple of tours to the South Coast for work AND play. See profile for details. While we're in POOLE Dorset, we’re hoping the weather's still going to be good enough for some

NUDITY

on Studland Beach! mmm, Can't wait.

We've never known a year go so quick, and it's all been work work work, we LOVE the sex of course but the internet side of things has been & remains 'hard going'. It also looks increasingly like the lights are going to go out again like they did in 2008, with recession looming. The North East's already there (again...what's new?). Politicians...who needs 'em?

Other NEWS: We're planning a small scale BI party in the North East soon, for 2 or 3 bi MF couples, 1 or 2 single ladies (greedy girl/milf/gilf) + 2 maybe 3 single guys: so around 10-14 of us in total. RULES: Over 40's only, bi-curious at least, discreet respectful outgoing professional/business types, Get in touch if interested.

Tuesday, June 6th 2017

June 2017

Hello Sexy Friends!
So, summers here at last? We’ve had some beautiful days up here in the North East, including a couple of scorchers where we took advantage of the blue skies & took off to the beaches around Teesside. Guys, if you ever fancy sex outside on the beach then stay tuned to our profile anytime there’s a good long range forecast because occasionally we advertise when we’re going; It’s best if you’re an AW member with feedback and to book through the site after calling us first. Locations vary, but usually we can be found in a quiet spot around a 10 minute walk from a FREE car park well off the main road. Just bring towel, donation & Prosecco, OK?

Most of you’ll know we’ve been escorting for many years, & it isn’t any less interesting now than when we started. In any business, one picks up on trends and patterns over time, and this year is no exception. We’ve noticed when there’s no ‘feel good factor’ that bookings decline; Recent upheavals with Brexit/Trump/GE17/terrorism aren’t helping…in a nutshell, people are F*****d off with it all. Some would imagine that 'punters' would be more likely to book an escort for an hour’s ‘escape’ in times like these, though that doesn’t seem to be the case. Our profile until now has advertised that in the main our meets are with GenX’ers and Baby Boomers…YOU are our core clientele, however, while researching for this blog I’ve discovered Generation J, AKA people born between 1955 and 1965, and right on the money as far as we are concerned. Apparently Gen J is often lumped in with the Boomers and ignored. I’m pleased to have learned about this sub group…because so many of our clients, around 70% of them, fall into it. These particular people are experiencing so much change in their lives, and unanticipated change it is too for many of them, after a working life of relative calm and stability. It’s hitting them hard. As escorts we are for a brief time a fly on the wall of some-one else’s life, their hopes and dreams, their failures, their fantasies. Many ‘ordinary folk’ (whoever they might be haha), might be surprised to learn how many men in their 50’s yearn to explore their sexuality; So many of them have lived in a sexual wilderness, unable to communicate their true desires through fear, traditional ‘values’, or peer pressure. That has been slowly changing over the past decade with the march of Sex Positivism. Women became sexually liberated years ago, and learnt how to truly ‘own their bodies’, embracing sextoys, same sex experimentation and more. Men with the exception of the gay community have barely scratched the surface. I remember in the Noughties, stiff opposition from the menfolk to my endeavors selling sextoys to their wives in northern pubs and social clubs. Men are beginning to catch on to sex toys and pleasuring themselves in deeper ways than straight masturbation, with even that act frowned upon in some marriages, sadly.

For bisexual people life can be even tougher, with the majority of the straight population dismissing it as a phase blah blah; that too is changing, but oh so slowly. Gen Z (late teens post Millennial) are a new breed, TFFT btw! Many of them identify themselves as ‘open to exploration’, MH perhaps (mostly heterosexual) and more willing to embrace ‘alternative sexualities’. Notice I said sexualities plural, there’s more than 2; Look ‘em up, and while you’re at it Google ‘Kinsey Scale’. It’s fascinating reading and part of our daily life…all the folk we meet are on the scale somewhere, with a good many of our guys moving along it. No-one’s 100% straight or 100% gay, and we truly believe that. Do YOU? If you’re one of those truly macho types who can’t stomach anything other than 100% straight let me tell you…’YOU NEVER KNOW’…a same sex experience can and often does, come out of NOWHERE. It’s a tale we’re told umpteen times, and a tale we never get tired of listening to. Human sexuality is a wonderful thing…ENJOY, and just go with your gut guys, try and be TRUE to yourself, look after #1. So, yeah, the negative trend is that inquiries have been down with all the recent turmoil, but we’ve countered that and kept working by touring. Our sextoy business has also been busy-busy with a ton of work going on behind the scenes on our e-com site. Being in the trade means we’re among the first to know about what’s hot and what’s not in the World of Sex and Adult Pleasure. In case you wonder why we’re not on here with a ‘shop’ then spend a few minutes with a mouse and our profile name, you’ll find we’re all over the web, as escorts and retailers.

ElectroSex has been around for years, originally as a spin off from TENS units, used by the medical people and our own NHS to help relieve pain through electric stimulation of nerves. Minx’s dom training plus articles published recently in the Adult Trade press prompted us to learn more. So, after much research, we invested in a premium kit from UK manufacturer E-STIM in Watford. So good is their kit that they give a lifetime guarantee; their instructional literature and backup is second to none, AND as pioneers of the bespoke Electrosex scene (since 2004) they’ve way more experience with the units than most. Geeze couldn’t wait to get started, and when Minx slipped out shopping with her daughter the day after it was delivered, couldn’t resist a ‘play’. WOW. All the webpages and the packaging stressed the need to READ THE INSTRUCTIONS THOROUGHLY FIRST, which I (unusually) did! I was expecting an instant hard on from the moment of attaching the loops to my twitching cock, but reality was very different. They say ‘electrosex’ is an art because finding ways to pleasure the human body is not an exact science. E-stim is not just for MEN or TECHIES, it’s for everyone to ENJOY. One thing’s for sure…..it offers levels of sensation and pleasure that are difficult to find anywhere else. All I can say for now is that it’s a bit like prostate massage, in that it takes experimentation and practice, not least because Everybody's DIFFERENT. Have you ever tried P-massage and reached that bittersweet spot which is so very very close to OMFG but not quite there? And you yearn to repeat it and chase the Holy Grail of orgasms? Well guys n gals, that’s a bit like our experiences of E-STIM to date. Curious? Book yourself an appointment with us to see for yourself. Minx is offering it SOLO, in conjunction with tie n tease/mild dom etc, or you can come try it with us in our role as fun50couple. It’s our aim eventually to make ourselves available to interested couples for demonstrations and instruction, with big discounts on E-STIM units if they want to take one away. Stay tuned.

What else is happening in June apart from a sham of an election? Well, we rather enjoyed ourselves in South Wales back in January, so we’re coming back for more in SWANSEA 18th-22nd June & CARDIFF 22nd- 24th June. Check out our page’s tour tab when it’s showing and the AW tour page for details. That’s it for now folks! See you soon….preferably in a nice hotel in the NorthEast. Our top recommendation: NEWCASTLE, Malmaison Hotel, 7th floor suites....heaven, FAB, FAB, & FAB again, they have some great deals on too, check 'em out. And if you’re looking for SUPER VALUE, + HIGH STANDARD, ALBEIT SMALLISH (but beautifully presented) rooms, in a great location you’ll be very pleasantly surprised if you go to MOTEL ONE, Newcastle City Centre; they also have one of the highest ratings in town. Have FUN, remember: safe sex always,

Luv, fun50couple xxx

Monday, March 6th 2017

Fifty Shades

I’d been wondering recently if Valentine’s Day had maybe peaked around the Millennium and if enthusiasm was declining a bit; As a couple we used to go away somewhere nice and romantic like Cornwall or the West Coast of Scotland for a break, but in recent years we haven’t been able to. This year though we decided to make a night out of it 'all in the line of duty'. After a decent meal in the nearby Prezzo we strolled over to Cineworld for an 8PM screening of FSD; They were showing the film on two screens at once nevertheless we were somewhat surprised & disappointed to note only 30 odd folk seated in the cinema just 5 minutes before the scheduled start of the film. Most of them were Millennials with a couple of older couples, all well turned out, and most in jeans and heels. Minx was easily the best dressed there in classy dress, black stockings, 4” heels and black leather jacket. Numbers swelled to around a hundred with seconds to spare before screening, leaving two thirds of the cinema empty. The last couple to enter were a couple of thirty-somethings, dressed sexily like Minx…and sat next to us on the very back row; there was a little wry sniggering between Minx & I as we recalled the times 40 years ago when ‘the back row’ was THE PLACE to be on a Saturday night for a bit of ‘extra-curricular’ with one’s date down at the local flea-pit. I read only yesterday that a cinema in Hackney is re-opening its doors 40 years after the last screening, still in its original form. It’s amazing to witness these places surviving in a digital age seemingly against all odds. Or maybe not? Why? Because the majority of the cinema audience today are Millennials who have been brought up on hype; Putty in the hands of the big Corporations like Universal Pictures…True, we were there too with them, as oldies, but our excuse was we were there primarily for business reasons, after all, if we’re selling Fifty Shades merchandise at FUN-FIVE-0 the very least we can do is to acquaint ourselves with Ana and Christian don’t you think? For months we have been bombarded by Press releases from the likes of ETO, Lovehoney :( and others….advising us to stock up for the RUSH, yeah right…one of the advantages of age is that you’re not so easily led, so we remained cautious and chose to stock limited numbers of items only. It was fascinating to see FSD POS (Point of Sale) items made available only around the date of the film release, yet these people had been urging us to buy stock since NOVEMBER to cope with ‘unprecedented demand’!!! No wonder we saw only FSG in sex shops in the lead up to the film’s release and no FSD! Some are saying the brand is tired now after 2 years…yet we learn there’s another sequel already made, ‘Fifty Shades Freed’, which apparently was shot back to back with FSD with release planned for February 2018. So, what did we think about the film? Read on…

As of February 26th the film has already grossed $328.3 million, against a production budget of $55 million. WOW. (FSG has done $571 million to date.) It was released in the United States on Feb 10th, and our local cinemas weren’t showing it until 12th. We hadn’t read any reviews for the film before we went. I was particularly interested to see if any adult retailers would advertise amongst the trailers; not surprisingly Ann Summers popped up, but if you’d blinked you would have missed it, as Minx nearly did. Neither of us have a lot of time for AS, because we believe they’ve gotten away with far too much over the years to the detriment of more traditional sex shops, an example of how Establishment favours those who cosy up to them & help fill their coffers no doubt, anyway, there they were…for a few seconds…I said to Minx afterwards that that’s all they have to do…plant a little seed in folks memories…it’s likely a good swathe of the cinema audience would go into a High Street outlet like theirs but not a licensed sexshop, because most of them aren’t hard core BDSM or even hard core sex, they’re in the realms of the ‘curious’. We like curious LOL. Most in the ‘scene’ wouldn’t have gone near the film anyway since the original FSG was perceived by them to be more about abuse than BDSM. I had seen reports in the adult trade Press that some sex shop outlets had booked whole cinemas for private viewings on Valentine’s Day…I’ve yet to read confirmed reports about that taking place though.

Though we hadn’t read any reviews, I had heard through social media reports that the film was nothing more than PORNOGRAPHY with between 11 and 14 sex scenes depending on how you rate it…things looked promising. {btw did you know where that word stems from? The Greek word ‘porne’ means ‘prostitute’ & ‘graphein’ to write or to record…literally ‘a written description or illustration of prostitutes or prostitution’}. It would be fair to say that both of us remained focused not bored during the length of the film which ran for 118 minutes. We’re STILL WAITING for the pornography. In fact, to be perfectly honest we’ve seen better stuff from Jack Regan with various ‘brasses’ on The Sweeney…the (2012)Sweeney film went one better; some sex scenes in that movie were way more erotic than anything we saw from Ana & Christian. All the talk in the media about how controversial and ‘strong’ this film is…is what you’d expect, TOTAL BOLLOCKS. Neither of us was aroused during the film; obviously our thresholds are higher than most but this movie, in a nutshell, promises much but delivers little. It’s not surprising therefore, that in recent days review website ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ reveals the film’s been given an approval rating of just 8% based on 154 critical reviews, with an average rating of 3.4/10. They go on to say ‘Lacking enough chemistry heat or narrative friction to satisfy, the limp FIFTY SHADES DARKER wants to be kinky but only serves as its own form of punishment’. We have to agree. I suppose the litmus test of any film one goes to see is your gut reaction when you’re leaving the darkened screen behind for the bright lights of the cinema exit…it’s usually either ‘WOW’, or ‘JFC painful or what?’ Once outside & into the night air, we both remarked… ‘Not bad but not very good eh’ tempered though by the enjoyment of a rare night out together on our own terms and not somebody else’s! I also remember saying to Minx I could have done a better job myself at the directing, and I do believe I could. A film director is supposed to be able to visualise a script and to guide the cast and the crew to deliver a credible and believable performance…from where we stand it seems pretty clear the director hasn’t ever seen any passionate, strong sex, let alone BDSM. Sexy people get vibes off other sexy folk…it’s a look, it’s a touch, it’s a grimace, it’s a flash of roughness, wildness, it’s a lifestyle. NONE of that came over in this movie.

The beginning of the film sees Ana receiving a bouquet of flowers, from you guessed it, Christian; she pauses for an instant before taking them to be dropped in the bin, then changing her mind. Why not SMASH them into the bin with rage, and a bit of passion??? From the very beginning I was cringing over Ms Johnson’s performance…yes I realise she was supposed to be, to an extent, playing ‘innocent’ and ‘twee’…but I couldn’t help comparing her to the young Juliette Lewis brilliantly cast as Danielle Bowden’ in Martin Scorsese’s CAPE FEAR…as a schoolgirl. Possibly the strongest performance in the film comes from Eric Johnson as Jack Hyde, Ana’s boss…looks like we’ll be seeing more of him in Fifty Shades Freed. As for Jamie Dornan…he’s been torn to shreds by the critics, however, we didn’t think he was too bad. Both stars seemed to settle down and improve as the film progressed, overall though we didn’t feel Dakota’s performance was anywhere near strong enough. Some of the film's most enjoyable moments had nothing to do with sex at all…footage of Christian’s yacht ‘The Grace’ sailing the waters presumably around Vancouver.

A couple of days before Valentine’s Day I’d put a luxury spreader bar from CalExotics Scandal collection on to FUN-FIVE-0 so I was delighted to see Christian using one similar, to good effect...the way he flicked Ana over using the bar was one of the high points of the movie, yet even this could have been expanded upon…instead of, as with most of the so called sex scenes lasting a few brief seconds only. There was Spanking too, but alas, no great shakes…the film’s portrayal of it cried out for more, if only to try and get the audience on board and to BEGIN to ‘live it’, and to ‘feel it’. At one point Christian & Ana are in a restaurant and he orders her to remove her panties…again, a missed opportunity. The panties came down surreptitiously; All good…then there’s a close up of them draped over and around her sexy heels…again, all good and verging on erotic. She passes them across the table to Christian…and what does he do? Puts them in his pocket FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What friking man would do that without a lingering albeit discreet sniff beforehand…a savouring of her delicious scent???? Clearly another instance of a director who’d never been there; a sexually aware director would have made much of this potentially classic moment in the film. But it was not to be.

Questions need asking of censorship guidelines. No doubt the directors felt they had to ‘play safe’ in order to get the film out there without a restricted certificate…..yet there were films released DECADES ago which include scenes way more more explicit than what we were treated to in Fifty Shades Darker. This film needed only a 15 certificate. The 15 rating itself is questionable in my opinion & probably obsolete, and could, I believe safely be reduced to 14. It’s time permissible ‘18’ content was reviewed as well; How much better films would be, if we could see relevant uncensored, tasteful, full on adult action. Full nudity and graphic sex scenes can help to bring a scene to life, to give the work an edginess, to make it authentic, and to truly immerse the viewer; We could then reserve R18 for hard core pornography instead of the soft rubbish pedalled via those labels we see at present. (A point of interest, I used to sell R18 films; did you know that if a person sells an R18 video without a sex shop license or sells one by mail order, then he risks a prison stretch of 13 YEARS and being put on the sex offenders register; While at the same time judges fine a woman £80 only for taking the life of a cyclist by carelessly opening a taxi door, CRAZY!) What I’m suggesting isn’t going to happen anytime soon, and I doubt it’ll happen even in my lifetime, sadly. Our country is hidebound by armies of regulators rubbing shoulders with an Establishment elite…BBFC is a prime example. We can only hope that sustained pressure from the masses (AKA the ‘thickoes’ as the Biased Broadcasting Company would portray us LOL) via social media will break this deadlock…as we’ve seen happen at recent elections.
I’ll leave it there folks! Go and see Fifty Shades Darker for yourself.

Sunday, March 5th 2017

Spring 2017

Hello Sexy Friends! It’s been a while since we blogged here on Adult Work mainly due to lack of time what with touring and the demands of web development work, plus of course our day job AKA full time escorting. We’ve met some fab guys while we’ve been away; all kinds across an age range from around 40 to mid Eighties. There was plenty of interest from the under 40s too, aka Millennials, with hundreds of texts despite it saying no texts on our profile, but of course none of them confirmed provisional bookings or turned up, which is why we put an age limit on our site….we simply don’t have time to waste on people who can’t be bothered to read beyond 140 characters of print. That’s one of the many fascinating things we’ve discovered about our clientele…almost without exception NONE of them are on Social Media. Of course our players are a niche group, most of them at least a little slightly bi-curious or think they might be. Even thinking they might be indicates they’re probably already off the bottom of the Kinsey Scale. Kinsey what? Look it up…Wikipedia. Some people believe, including us, that even men seeking MFM fun who identify themselves as 100% straight IE Exclusively Heterosexual with a Kinsey Scale value of ZERO, are in reality a few tads off the ZERO…why? Because many of them admit to ‘getting off’ when actually feeling another guy through her thin membrane during the act of a simple DP scenario, even though there’s no DIRECT physical contact. There’s increasing acceptance that sexuality is a spectrum with no-one 100% straight or 100% gay, and folk are often at different places within that spectrum at different stages of life.

We’ve been escorting for several years now and from the outset we’ve always catered to the bi-curious/bi market but been happy to play purely straight if that is what is expected of us; After all, J is a lifetime bisexual right from school days while Minx is straight. As the years roll by we’re drawn deeper and deeper into the World of Sex, relationships, and kink. The more time goes by, the more interesting it becomes…some would think the reverse…that it would become boring. Not so. The lifestyle encourages deep thought, reflection and exploration, and raises as many questions as it does answers. We’re both politically aware and share a keen interest in Current Affairs and the way the World is moving. In fact, J was once offered the chance of becoming a Prospective Parliamentary Candidate but after about a week thinking about it, declined; imagine the joy the Press would have had once they’d uncovered the skeletons in the cupboard! So much of what’s going on right now is inter-linked. People are expressing themselves more….being more open & transparent about everything including sexuality. It’s probable that much of the good work achieved by liberals this past few years will be unpicked or sought to be undone by sitting governments, but these so called 'leaders' are not ‘forever’….We would say that the underlying trend towards more sex positivism is unstoppable and set to continue. It’s reckoned that there are 4 times more people out there who identify themselves as bisexual than as there are gay, but the very nature of society dictates that many of these folk will remain in the closet. When it comes to men, male bisexuality is still seen as a ‘taboo’ and ‘means you must be gay’ or ‘going through a phase’….ERRRRR, NO, whereas in women the trait is perceived more to be ‘OK’, fashionable almost. In reality, most of our clients know nothing about the politics of bisexuality; I myself have never bothered with it; I’m my own person, fiercely independent, I know how I feel, I know it’s real, and Minx loves me for who I am so to fuck with anybody who can’t accept that.

We have got to learn many things about the sector we serve over the years. It’s ‘work in progress’ not least because our FUN-FIVE-0 sextoy business is built upon the knowledge and experience we have gained of our niche…a risky strategy not least because of the very nature of bisexuality with so many folk (male and female) ‘closeted’ while in ostensibly ‘straight’ relationships; which means in practise that a lot of our wares won’t be bought online for fear of discovery by a partner; hence the survival of the bricks and mortar sex shop which facilitates anonymous cash over the counter shopping. I’ve been reading reports that these outlets are seeing their turnovers diminish to the tune of around 10% annually due to the inexorable march of the internet, so it remains to be seen how many will still be out there a decade from now. I would think the survivors will be niche interest shops with a strong online presence. Councils haven’t helped either with regard to the sex trade, however, their wings were clipped recently with a ruling that forbade them to unfairly load rates just because they were businesses choosing to sell goods of an adult nature…a welcome victory but a hollow one maybe; the planners will most likely stick the boot in out of spite and these shops will fall by death from a thousand cuts, to the delight of the do-gooders. So our money is on sex positivism gaining momentum, with more folk emboldened to express their sexuality, and more willing to buy online over time. An internet millionaire from a hosting company in Australia told us we only have to find one person in a million throughout the world who’ll buy from our site to make a living…he’s right. (8000 customers)

We know there are oh so many men out there who are bi-curious, who ‘wonder’. They fantasize about the eroticism of playing with another guy and a kinky woman at the same time. There’s no doubt that to them, the presence of a female makes it a lot easier…more respectable…and certainly less risky knowing that we are a married couple, as are they (usually). Visiting a gay male escort is a step too far for most, whereas a fun-time with a friendly and genuinely bisexual escort couple looks to be a much better place. A lot of guys love heterosexual anal sex too…it’s only natural that some of them will want to experiment with anal play for themselves. Yet again, it’s an area still perceived by the masses as solely the domain of the gay man; which is a shame, because it’s clearly not. The anus has more nerve endings in it than the female clitoris…it doesn’t have a sexuality of its own; it just knows what feels good. Is it any wonder that the more enlightened man wants to explore? I often find myself thinking during the kinkier meets when we’re all rocking and rolling together, how utterly natural it all seems. Man on Man on Woman on Man….so many erotic permutations. For too long society has been conditioned by the religious brigade to think heterosexual sex only is the ‘norm’ and nothing else (the same people preach that sex outside marriage is a sin). What nonsense. Sex positivism feels way more natural, to us anyway. And then there’s the ‘P spot’ and the holy grail of male orgasms to be savoured, eventually, and IF, one progresses to prostate massage. One of the things we find surprising is how few men go there, with many completely ignorant about anal pleasures. I’ll share a few lines sent to me from a guy last week which are spot on…he says this: ‘I got so horny the other day, probably having read your profile again, I got my flesh light and 8" suction dildo out for a bit of solo fun. I lubed up, sat on the bed and sank fully onto it. I found the p spot straightaway and wanked my cock slowly. I came before I even opened the flesh light up! It was one of those mega orgasms you get only so often and usually while enjoying a prostate massage, spunk everywhere! It's a shame that this form of stimulation still isn't accepted as normal. Sure, things are changing but there's not many people I could admit to having my own dildo.’
Believe us, there are millions of men like this, Are YOU one? We suggest you read our fun50couple profile, and then pick up the phone, we’d love to share some time with you. Luv fun50couple xxx

Sunday, November 13th 2016

Fun50couple comment

Hello again sexy friends and followers! It’s that time of year again when you think you’ll get ahead for once organising Christmas arrangements, only to get side-tracked for one reason or another, & then suddenly realise you’ve left everything too late. So, there’s 41 days to go. Including ‘Black Friday’…yet another seemingly obligatory Americanism we’ve gotten used to….to hell with the fact that our home UK retailers may, actually, be trading perfectly well thank you very much without having to discount at all before Xmas, not least as early as 24th November! The likes of AMAZON though now decree that ‘that’s how things will be….like it or lump it’ and like sheep, Joe Public goes along with it without a thought for the long term consequences. And for those of you thinking I’ve made a mistake with the 24th November date, I’ve got news for you…this year we’re being told that it’s going to be ‘Black Five Day’.Traditionally the American Christmas shopping spree starts the day after their Thanksgiving Day which falls on the 4th Thursday of November. Now, even that well-loved American date, traditionally a day of reflection and thanks for the harvest, has fallen victim to commercial greed…with Black 5 Day commencing on the 24th and finishing on cyber Monday the 28th. How friking long before Amazon decrees ‘Black November’ and discounts for the whole month? Undoubtedly there’ll be many folk thrilled by the prospect of ‘bargains’ galore, the same kind who will be queuing outside Tesco and Asda at midnight I guess without a care for anything much else except themselves. In reality though, it’s just another nail in the coffin for thousands of small, medium and even large retailers, who’ll suffer a slow death by a thousand cuts; it only needs turnover and profitability to drop a very small % to put them into the red…just like the 30-40% of businesses in my local High Street who’ve died in the last 10 years. These unfortunate firms, in the main, have been forced to close their doors, why? Because most of them have been too busy working ‘in’ their businesses instead of ‘at’ their businesses. Most have failed spectacularly to implement measures and tactics vital to counter the inexorable march of the internet, globalisation and greedy Government in the form of local councils, squeezed by cuts and a hidden agenda to maintain their status quo AKA jobs for life in shiny offices, with fat pensions to look forward to at an early age.
All that is left of nearly half my local High Street is a ghetto of scruffy empty retail units, unfit for purpose, fit only for the bulldozer.
Who would have thought 20 years ago that giants like BHS, C&A, Woolworths, Marks & Sparks….would have vanished from so many town centres to be replaced by relative upstarts like Next, trading from premises a fraction of the size of these former goliaths. Fair-play to Next; they have been one of the few who have embraced change rapidly and are prospering from it, and an example to others, including ourselves. I’ve often heard tycoons say that that a big business is nothing more than a small business multiplied up…we all face the same challenges, it’s just a difference in scale. Some in the sex-toy trade are viewing Black 5 Day with alarm. Why? The reason is that traditionally, adult industry sales spike dramatically at Christmas and Valentine’s Day. The winners in the forthcoming battle will be those that find ways to even out their trade over the whole year, and maintain profitability, not those that bury their heads in the sand and hope the trend goes away. Many of you read this blog because you want to hear first-hand about our life as escorts, and we know that most of you think it’s one big fuckfest and not really a job at all. Some of you write to us in envy of our exploits, wishing it were you! We enjoy corresponding with you all, but in reality, our life is very different to what you imagine. Our life is no different to any-one else in business….nothing more than a constant battle to outwit the competition and to maintain cash-flow. Some of you older readers will remember back in the day when we all used to deal directly with our local bank manager with regard to personal finance matters. One of the phrases they lived or died by was ‘Look after the cash-flow and the profits will look after themselves’….words as true today in the age of the interweb as ever they were in the past. It may surprise some of you, but as Professional Escorts that is what our life revolves around, NOT how many times we can cum or how many meets we can fit in or how downright DIRTY we can be. Our life is about giving a good SERVICE, & ensuring we get repeat business, to carry us through the lean times. So guys, when you’re browsing all those escort ads, stop and think for a minute….the good service providers will always be the ones who ply their trade in a business-like fashion…in reality, it’s easy to sort the wheat from the chaff. You want a good experience? Of course you do! That will mean going with some-one who cares.
Some-one who cares first and foremost about giving you such a good time that you’ll want to go back.
Some-one who’ll pay attention to every small detail to ensure there’s the very best chance of you going back to them. Right down to the spelling and grammar in the profile, the honesty and integrity of the ad and images, the prep with regard to dress and make-up, the standard & cleanliness of any accommodation, the implementation and provision for safe sex practises, PLUS of course the actual delivery of the ‘service’ itself, even the cooling down period afterwards…all aspects need care and attention. Because, those Escorts that don’t ‘deliver’ are no different to the shops in the High Street you see closing down, the people too busy working ‘in’ the business who should instead be intent on working ‘at’ their business…always attending to fine detail, always monitoring trends, always adapting and evolving to keep in front. That is what we strive to do as fun50couple, and with our sister venture FUN-FIVE-0, the niche premium sextoy collection for sexually liberated men and couples with a #bi twist,
So until next time, take care, safe sex always, Luv fun50couple xxx

Wednesday, September 7th 2016

Will Sex Positives ever rule the World?

Sex what? For those not in the know ‘sex positivity’ can be defined as ‘having an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all sexual activities pleasurable & fundamentally healthy provided its consensual and nobody gets hurt’. To be honest I wasn’t aware myself that I was ‘sex positive’ in the sense that I wore a label, however, it’s an attitude to sex & relationships I’ve informally subscribed to for nearly 5 decades. I’ve shared my thoughts with hundreds of folk over the years; it’s a belief I’ve always been comfortable with and one that feels natural. Most people I’ve confided with have had little to say about the matter; they’ve kept their thoughts to themselves as I am a passionate kind of person as are most sex positives….an all or nothing type, and in my ignorance, have always assumed it was an ideology embraced by the many rather than the few; but then I’ve always been the black sheep from a disjointed family and never followed the fold. And I’m proud of that.

A multitude of things have converged recently to throw all this sharply into focus and to spur me to hit the keyboard. Yes I know its been over a month since I posted a blog. The Blogging Mentors I take some notice of say I should be posting 3-5 times a week if I’m to build any kind of ‘tribe’ as they call it of ‘raving fans’ …well sorry guys, I have a living to make and I won’t blog unless I feel moved enough to produce something worthwhile. And moved I am.

I am no different to hundreds of thousands, millions probably, of my contemporaries in Britain today. On the one hand are the early retired professionals and civil servants on generous pensions for life & literally awash with cash, and on the other side are the blue collar people, the triers, the small time entrepreneurs, and the mass ranks of the ever hopeful and perennially self-employed AKA busy fools in many cases (I don’t mean that in a bad way….so many work hard and all hours God sends but the point is they never achieve or come even close to a good quality of life and financial independence). Many in this latter group have had their lives turned upside down by events they have no control over…the banking crisis, mass immigration, excess regulation and globalisation, but they fight on, in the hope of a better life before death, by learning new skills, embracing modern technologies, and finding new ways to capitalise on what they DO know about, on things they’ve learnt over a lifetime. If you’ve never read the story of Colonel Sanders I urge you to do so, then you’ll ‘get it’. So what do i know? I know about sex.

It’s something I’ve always been drawn to and lived for. Its led to good times even in the bad times. I also know about flying planes, repairing roofs and cleaning offices. I sold sextoys in the millennium years and have just started again with FUN-FIVE-0. This has meant I’ve had to embrace computers and the internet, never something I relished, until these past few years. The idea of building a website myself from scratch was not even contemplated, yet these things I now find easy. It’s a case of continual daily improvement, and taking action…yes…I know you will have suffered all that boring stuff before, but.....What is very striking to us Boomers and GenXers is the speed of change.

We are going through another industrial revolution, but this time its happening in a few short years, not decades or over generations. The web is fast evolving to become a social platform overtaking the original concept of a purely informational model envisaged at its outset. I’ve attended conferences and been told in no uncertain terms that ‘If you’re in business and can’t get a handle on social media, then get out of business’.

Things are a’changin and changing VERY FAST! The Arab Spring was an early example of the power of social media, and our own recent Brexit is another where the ‘establishment’ has been taken by surprise and been caught with its pants down. We like pants down. And with regard to Brexit, only now is it sinking in with the powers that be in Ivory Towers, that Out is supposed to mean Out (err,sorry and all that) and they’d better start doing something about it. Yet still, these people insist on talking in years.
Life’s no longer like that.

We embrace new technologies to do things which used to take years and do them in a fraction of the time. The point I’m making is that many people haven’t woken to the fact that the INTERNET HAS and IS changing EVERYTHING, be it your corner TakeAway (in the shape of 'justeat') to banking, to recruitment, retail, right the way thru to the top and the Corridors of Power AKA Westminster. EVERYTHING is changing. Including cultural attitudes.

This weekend we have seen a well-known politician brought down by a National tabloid Newspaper. As of Monday he was hanging on and supported by some who, rightly enough, protested that their colleague had done nothing illegal certainly with regard to meeting two gay male escorts for ‘fun’ while taking ‘poppers’; an affront to many people for sure but nevertheless not exactly an uncommon scenario these days.

Yes you read that right.

People are jumping up and down talking about ‘filth’ blah blah but any-one who’s streetwise, & actually knows about humanity, sex and sexwork, knows that looking out your bedroom window at your neighbours, or working in a school, at a hospital or on an assembly line, or even in the Forces….anywhere you care to mention, a percentage of folk are into something a bit different. A wee bit kinky maybe. Something most 'ordinary' people wouldn't think of as 'normal'.

And they’re never the kind of people you’d suspect of course, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Some are saying that what people do in their private life is up to them and matters little. Others more vociferously (as usual) are jumping up and down taking the moral high ground and saying that what matters is the sexual exploitation of the ‘rent boys’ as they call them. You see their kind always portray our kind as just that….morally corrupt, vulnerable people who need to be ‘protected’. Who TF are they to judge? I’ve had long term relationships with escorts, I rub shoulders with escorts, I have done for years, and have yet to meet one who’s been forced to do the job. Granted, some will have, but that's NOT the rule. YES, I’m so sorry…I actually ENJOY my job as do many of my com-padres; oh and while we’re about it, don’t lets forget the millions of swingers around the world who would also be put in the same morally corrupt bracket by these dinosaurs and so called ‘pillars of society’.

Sex positivity is the subject of this post. The internet and the cultural revolution taking place, and the kind of Sixties Permissive Society ‘Mark 2’ it is feeding alongside the industrial one, is changing things for EVER….it’s called progress, and its happening NOW, and its happening whether ‘Establishment’ likes it or not. More people are feeling freer to express their true identities, to come out, to be more sexually free. Including some of those folk walking the corridors of power, who are after all human just like the rest of us.
Will Sex Positives ever rule the world? Maybe not but they’ll be a lot more mainstream in my humble opinion at least, for what it’s worth.

The party’s already started.

Until next time, stay horny, safe sex always, take care, Luv fun50couple xxx

Tuesday, August 9th 2016

Share & share we like!

The following is a direct copy of a recent 'short story' penned by and reproduced with the permission of a recent client, ENJOY! (the only bit I don't like is the gappy smile bit... a broken tooth from a recent incident, getting capped tomorrow OUCH!!! LOL)
MFMMF
(My First MMF)

Stop here.
It’s the right post code.
Call them up for directions.
OK got that.
Heart beating nineteen to the dozen.
There’s the house.
Park the car and lock it.
Walk up the path, knees knocking.
J opens the door and welcomes me.
Gap toothed smile but very friendly.
Chat about this and that.
We have some places in common.
S comes downstairs.
Black fishnet stockings, basque and a loose top.
Looks terrific.
Leave charity donation on the table.
S shows me to a ready drawn bath.
Strip off and clean myself thoroughly..
Enter bedroom, drop towel, lie on bed naked.
S is waiting, calming me.
J enters and drops his jeans.
There it is.
A fully erect uncut cock.
He invites me to suck it.
At last I have my first real cock in my mouth.
I savour it playing with the foreskin with my tongue.
Sucking it as far as possible into my throat.
Tasting every moment.
S moves closer whispering encouragement and massaging my cock.
She removes her top and exposes her breasts for me to touch.
A finger finds her cunt and starts to massage it.
More gently she warns.
My finger moves to her clit and caresses it with the gentlest touch I can manage.
J’s cock is still filling my mouth.
Suddenly J removes his cock and inserts into S’s cunt.
A few strokes later he offers it to me so I can taste her juices.
Nectar!
S moves me to where she can sit on my face.
My tongue finds her clit and begins to lick slowly and carefully.
What was that?
A bitter taste in my mouth.
Could she be about to gush?
Feels like gallons of fluid pour from her cunt into my mouth and all over my face.
Heavenly!
She is amazing!
Now J prepares to fuck me.
We try a couple of dildoes but I insist I want a real cock.
S is encouranging me to go for it.
I feel J’s cock pushing at my arse.
I try to relax my sphincter.
I feel him enter me.
Not sure how much cock I’m taking.
More cheer leading from S.
She really gets off on this.
Bum hole feels a bit numb now.
J still pumping away.
After a while I can take no more and J stops.
Approval of my first anal fuck from both of them.
J asks where I want his cum.
In my mouth.
I suck him a bit more.
Enjoying his fabulous foreskin.
He pulls away and wanks until he’s ready to fire.
His cock enters my mouth and I feel and taste his hot spunk shoot out.
I swallow what I can but there’s too much.
God that was good!
S has been watching closely, enjoying the view.
She wipes the excess spunk from my face with a cloth.
I run another bath and rinse off the rest of me.
Back downstairs.
A nice cuppa tea!

fun50couple Comment: Thanks Bob! For the benefit of readers the reference to 'bumhole feeling a little numb' is usually down to the specialist anal relax lubricant we use which contains an ingredient which acts like a local anaesthetic. Wondering what its like 4 yourself? Give us a Call! We are very gentle, friendly & discreet. You just have to look at our feedback to see we are the real deal. xxx

Wednesday, July 27th 2016

'To Pee or not to Pee, that is the Question!'

Hello Sexy Friends & Followers on AW & beyond!

‘To Pee or not to Pee that is the Question’, a take on Shakespeare’s Hamlet Act lll Scene 1 I know but couldn’t resist! Some of you who follow our blogs know that we’ve been close to the adult business for around 20 years, with an interest preceding that even, and it has been fascinating to watch practises considered ‘taboo’ by many, gradually coming out into the open. Not too long ago, anal sex was considered ‘unconventional’ and kept firmly behind closed doors despite being practised and enjoyed by many since the beginning of time! We still see many clients where that activity is strictly OFF LIMITS back home. It’s no bad thing in this game to sometimes stand back and think about the ‘general public’ and their attitudes to things of a sexual nature…one gets hardened as an Escort and it’s easy to begin to accept quite extreme acts as being ‘normal’. YES, as a somewhat prudish and reserved society we’ve come a LONG WAY in recent years, but there’s still a lot of resistance out there!!! I remember selling sex-toys across Yorkshire in the Noughties being surprised (as a liberal Londoner) to note an adverse reaction to my activities and products from many of the menfolk…these hard faced red blooded NORTHERN MALES perceived sextoys to be a threat and an insult to their manhood; many of the women came along to roadshows and bought products for their sole use and satisfaction, to compensate for deficiencies in their sex lives, exacerbated by a lack of communication! Communication and consent is CRUCIAL to GREAT SEX!!! But in those (fairly recent) days, many people didn’t talk about it or discuss it! There are still couples, trust us WE KNOW, that don’t mention the SEX word at home, OMG!!! There are STILL couples who don’t have any toys, or consider how they might help in a relationship! Still millions of women through the menopause and not interested in their partner’s sexual needs…we HEAR ALL ABOUT IT, time after time from our niche clientele, mature sexually active mostly married men. There are two sides to every story though, we know that!
Some in the adult business credit ‘Fifty Shades’ as the catalyst that’s changed attitudes so much in recent years for the good, while others deride it as rubbish which presents a false interpretation of BDSM activities. I haven’t had the time to read it, though Minx enjoyed it; I believe there’s a sequel out soon. Anyway, back to so-called ‘unconventional’ activities, or should we say ‘unconventional’ to ‘the many’. Let’s talk water sports. And I’m not talking about blasting up a lake behind a big American ski boat kicking up a wall of spray, enjoyable though that is for sure! LOL I’m talking about ‘to pee or not to pee’ AKA giving and/or receiving watersports! We are getting more and more requests… another sexual activity becoming ‘mainstream’ if you’ll forgive the PUN! There are a good many folk out there fascinated by the subject and want to experience it; it’s without doubt a big turn on to many! We’re lucky with Minx being a copious ‘squirter’ (female ejaculation), fascinating for many of our lovely clients, but some want more, they want pure pee! Or to watch pee! Or be covered in pee. Or drink Pee. I remember a program decades ago about ‘alternative sexual activities’ on late at night, and a guy drinking glassful’s of pee, and I didn’t ‘get it’. What I ‘get’ NOW, is that one’s limits grow over time (for some anyway, not all), the MIND being probably the most powerful sexual organ of them all. This aspect of our vocation we find ever more fascinating. As escorts we see and experience so much and constantly push boundaries to appease clients, it just goes with the territory. Sometimes, I confess, some of the activities do NOTHING for us nevertheless we can still perform them flawlessly to the benefit of the client. Watersports are a case in point. Last week we visited a gent who desperately wanted to be urinated on, who went into ecstasy as we BOTH stood over him and drenched him while lying on the floor of his luxury boutique hotel room…he conceded that he’d never had TWO people do it to him…he was in heaven! For us…well, it was our job, it was quite sexy but no great shakes…a satisfied client, a lovely man, a high flyer with a sad situation at home to cope with, all in all a common enough scenario. Our over-riding priority and what makes us tick is giving our clients a mind-blowing sexperience. Occasionally that develops into a mindblowing experience for us too, particularly with repeat clients who we get to know and ‘luv’. Fast forward a couple of days and another outcall to another man in a similar place in his life to the former. Over all the time we’ve been escorting, we’ve never left anything behind after a meet, not even a snippet of a condom wrapper, but this night alas, we were well down the road & homeward bound before deciding to check the sexphone, to find it…nowhere

We had left it with our client! A call verified it was indeed still there, so we agreed to return. The meeting had been a little unusual tbh and didn’t run to the normal kind of pattern. Minx forgot to use the loo before leaving, and once in the car she was saying she could just about wait till we got home, prior to us discovering we’d left the phone. The subsequent backtrack and collection of the phone added to Minx’s discomfort, there was no alternative but to find a place for her to pee, and PDQ at that! We pulled off the Motorway (not for us to give ‘plod’ the satisfaction of booking us for peeing on the hard shoulder, no sir!)…I know the area well, and vaguely recalled a quiet spot from years ago…yes, there it was, an ancient bridge a viaduct almost, closed to traffic spanning a big river in the North East. It was a hot summer night, I hadn’t ‘cum’ during the meeting, and Minx had chosen to wear an expensive mid length dress with a low cut + heels, and a cheeky new haircut…I respect her and normally she doesn’t like to let me watch her pee in the open, but tonight was different…she bailed out of the car, leaving the door ajar, and squatted down between the vehicle and the bridge wall…as luck would have it there was a large steel drainage grill just in the right spot…she gushed her piss into the drain with the expensive dress hiked up to her waist…WOW, there was the roar of the water under the bridge, a clear and rapidly darkening sky above but still daylight, cars speeding by a few feet away, huge trees in full leaf above us…her piss went on for an eternity, she talked to me all the time, she looked divine, THIS WAS SEXY, this was a turn on, WOW. Very often a change in environment is all that’s needed to turn ‘so-so’ into ‘so fooking sexy!’ A bulge was growing down below, RELIEF was necessary! Minx stood up, we kissed passionately, she then took out my cock before standing aside and talking dirty, before ducking to avoid a heavy blast of the ‘white stuff’…Fast forward a few fays more and we see another client who tells us in the pre-amble that ‘though he isn’t into water-sports per se, he does get turned on by watching a woman pee, but doesn’t know why?’…I rest my case!

Until next time, stay horny, SAFE SEX ALWAYS, & HAVE FUN!

Luv, fun50geeze xx

Thursday, May 26th 2016

Pastures anew!

Hello to all our Sexy Friends on Adult Work and beyond!

Hi every-one from the North East of England! What a turbulent month it’s been, though thankfully we’ve been kept busy, meeting new people as well as a number of regulars now we’ve moved closer to them. I recalled the number of moves I’ve made in my adult life the other day and got to 25 different homes, so I’m no stranger to upheaval, though recent years have been more stable since meeting Minx. With a background in business I’m well aware that it’s never safe to assume things will be the same when re-locating or that matter taking over an existing business from a new owner. I’ve met many folk over the years who moved to Scotland ‘for a better quality of life’ only to return South years later with their tail between their legs, skint. We love Scotland and are thankful for the success we’ve enjoyed from business activity there over the past decade; but it was time to move on. One of the things I find endlessly fascinating in this tiny little country of ours (which we can still just about call the ‘United’ Kingdom) is the diversity of the people and cultures even of the indigenous population. One of the attractions of escorting is that you get to meet so many interesting people, many of them successful people too, which is always a plus. When one’s lived in so many places over a lifetime, its frequently possible to place a person’s origin within a few miles by listening to them talk…some Yorkshire accents are unique even to individual towns, so it came as no surprise to us to find things very different a mere 140 miles down the road! Granted, 50% of our clientele even in Scotland were English; nevertheless, they came from all corners of the country. Now, we are in Geordie-Land, which has always been a separate little part of England in its own right (Devolution anybody?) Having lived here previously and worked here as a youngster, I/We were looking forward to the change, and all things being equal, we are pleased we finally made the move.

The first client was a shock! Brusque, course & forward-some to the extreme and totally different to what we’ve been used to…OK we’re escorts FFS, used to dealing with all kinds obviously…it’s just that we were caught off-guard. Time to take notice! And maybe tweak a few things. In Scotland, with 47% of the country’s population in Glasgow alone, and most of the rest within the Central Belt, we were in effect, tapping into and able to ‘pitch’ to the whole of the country. Now, in the North East we are in a relatively isolated part of ‘another’ country AKA ENGLAND, a country with 65 million+ people! And it would be fair to say, a part of the country deprived to a degree, yet a region nevertheless fiercely proud of its heritage, resilient to the shocks imposed upon it by a new industrial revolution and successive governments seemingly indifferent to its plight. So, we’ve tweaked our profile and website in response to differences; early results are promising, with some very intense & enjoyable outcalls over the past few days…stay tuned for more positive reviews on the site.

We are planning a trip to London again very soon to see Miss Kim; some of you will know about her excellent fetish workshops held in the Capital…We already see a number of subbie clients & we are for ever increasing our knowledge of our trade. It’s always useful to rub shoulders with and learn from the very best, hence our planned visit. Now we are in mainstream Britain, we shall also be visiting vendors met at last year’s Sexhibition in Manchester for the purpose of adding to Minx’s wardrobe, to include more custom fitted items in corsetry and latex. Work is also continuing at an accelerated pace on our fun-five-0 brand. Many of you’ll know of my former experience selling adult products…there are now literally thousands selling online, however, quality never goes out of fashion, and there are few retailers out there with the kind of ‘hands on’ experience we as an escort couple bring to the table. So we shall be offering items we know will appeal to certain sectors. We shall be testing them too, and there are other plans afoot to promote them in ways unique to fun50couple, Stay tuned guys (and girls!)

I’m forever thinking, & for a while I’ve been surmising that maybe my blogs are a wee bit too serious; With a background in business and a passion for politics, it’s hard not to be! Thankfully of course I/we are very sexual too…sometimes stresses & pressures from the business & political world feed the sexual appetite, a trait surely recognised by many in the sub community holding down high profile jobs with mega responsibility by day, before seeking solace through humiliation & degradation on the darker side, but I digress! How about us sharing with you some X rated chapter & verse instead?
Enter a wiry little 50 something year old man from Lancaster who found himself in a hotel local to us in the North East. Prior telecons had established he was potentially bi-curious and seeking a threesome experience; it was on his ‘bucket list’, a very common scenario. Tbh you never know with bi-curious; with self-proclaimed bi people its black and white, not so with curious! Sometimes it’ll mean they just want to look at cock while enjoying a vanilla experience, others want to feel another guy for the first time and maybe just maybe want to suck, others just don’t know; Some have had a fleeting experience almost by accident in earlier life and want to re-visit it before its ‘too late’. Occasionally some will just bottle out and take flight before even meeting! Some guys will cover themselves by saying they’d like to spend time watching first or even to spend time with Minx alone before maybe me ‘joining in’! That’s all OK with us. It never hurts to try and put ourselves in their shoes from time to time…something we endeavor to do, because many are nervous to the extreme, even some repeat clients. Anyway, we’ll call him Clive to preserve anonymity; Clive greeted us in ordinary work clothes, and we verified what he was after…Yes, maybe he’d like to watch first. He hadn’t washed so Minx suggested a freshen up (We recently had a guy say he was ‘alright thanks and didn’t need a wash’…..after driving a car repping all Summers Day…yeah right sunshine…it’s not you going down on your stinking cock is it; even after a cursory wipe he still smelt…one of the downsides of escorting we know and what we have to put up with for sure, we are OK with that…but rest assured YOU WON’T BE BACK) anyway…back to Clive who appeared naked and semi hard after a few minutes…Minx complimented him on his manhood and asked if he’d ever touched a cock; he replied by requesting we start to play together…Sometimes we fuck and other times we make love, it’s possible indeed necessary sometimes to fuck and not even be turned on by it in the name of duty, however, we were feeling particularly close that day and lovemaking ensued watched by Clive, who’s cock quickly rose to the occasion. Minx was sucking me and Clive approached soon after to kneel next to her head, so she could enjoy one cock after another before conceding she liked nothing better than sucking 2 cocks together… Clive’s cock touched mine, this was a first for him & not for the feint hearted for sure, no matter, any pre-conceived thoughts Clive had quickly vanished as Minx licked and sucked, bringing both men to an extreme state of arousal…three sexy people beginning an adventure in a hotel room far away from a sexless marriage & a prosaic lifestyle…this was FUN…nae, this was but ‘a once in a lifetime experience’ he murmured between sucking hard on Minx’s impressive breasts, and caressing her voluptuous curves. Furious tit-fucking followed while Minx continued to suck me, before Clive pulled away quickly, he was on the brink for sure…time to get between Minx’s thighs; Minx is one for slow gentle stimulation, and if a guy’s got a couple of days beard growth so much for the better as it rubs against her silky smooth skin. Clive fed hungrily on her lips and seemed to get very turned on digging his nose deep up into her by now very wet cunt, as I stretched her flesh up and backward from the clit, allowing me to stroke her sweet spot gently whilst Clive continued feasting on her juices…I could see in-between breaths that she was becoming very aroused…her cunt muscle had swollen like a ripe plum, thrusting outwards from the pussy lips and shiny wet, I knew that female ejaculation was imminent, an added bonus for many men who’ve never experienced it…and one to be surely savoured by our Clive who bore the brunt of her gush, savouring the sweet taste, and revelling in the experience, his head and receding hair utterly soaked by her sex;

Minx offered a towel, but this was too good to miss…Clive rubbed his still wet face and upper body, then licked his fingers before whispering for us to start fucking. Minx lay back and we started to make love, yeah…make love…this was no ordinary meeting, here was a connection, here was a guy who was sensual, sexual, a beautiful fleeting connection made ever more poignant to us as a couple having learnt earlier that day of the death of a close friend…We fucked gently but deeply…while Clive looked on, but only for a couple of minutes before diving in and under to enjoy the view…this was LIVE EXTREME PORN to him…I hoped for… and was soon rewarded & gratified by the feel of his tongue eagerly licking us both as we fucked, his stubble scoring our flesh, his powerful licking erotic to the extreme…so warm wet and sexy, this was classic 3some sex…I withdrew briefly and not to my complete surprise I have to say…he seized the opportunity to take my cock deeply into his mouth and throat and sucked for England on it like a man possessed…… a common outcome we witness many times over from seemingly luke warm ‘bi-curious’ married men….they seem to throw caution and preconceptions to the wind and get lost in the moment; I saved my cum…he was sucking so hard it was on the verge of pain, never removed far from pleasure though is pain as many of us know…Now he wanted to FUCK, and fuck hard…no problem for him slipping on a condom…we have all sizes and he quickly selected one of the latest ‘skins’ before entering Minx while I offered my manhood to her…I’m no spring chicken and though hard I was no longer like a rock…after three fucks that day already that was to be expected…I reached for my trusty friend in these situations…a heavy steel ring, lubed my cock and slid it on over my length…Clive was Rockin & Rolling…we’d all been experiencing intense activity now for a good 45 minutes…I always like to try and come together with the client if possible…many ask to see me shower Minx with a good facial; it turns a lot of men on seeing that, so I started masturbating…I knew I had to come and he would most probably explode shortly after…the cock ring kicked in…if you’ve never experienced one guys then BUY ONE today…the sensation is supreme & I N T E N S E…that taut ‘oh so fucking hard and powerful feeling’…Yes I know…every man’s experienced it for sure…back when they were 17 or 18 and invincible…..yeah right…4 decades ago!!!! The cock ring gets it back again…I aimed for Minx’s face as requested but it was hopeless! The pressure was SOOOOO intense there was no controlling it…a heavy cummer no matter what, my far flung seed spattered the wall beyond the bedside table, arrow straight streaks of white stuff shot across the sex toys…only the last few drops reaching their target AKA Minx’s lips….and a mini snowball for Clive who by this time had shed his load while I was pre-occupied …the man was wringing wet, smiling, gasping, breaking out into a giggle…a short while after we had bade farewell & were left wondering if it really was going to be a ‘once in a lifetime experience’?
Now where have we heard that one before?

Until next time…stay safe, stay horny, fun50couple xx

Monday, April 18th 2016

Authenticity

Hello to all our Sexy Friends & followers on Adult Work and beyond.

Its spring time, and Summer is supposed to be round the corner yet we are still shivering in Scotland with snow on the Border at the weekend BRRRRRR! So no outdoor activities just yet! So, what have we been up to lately? It's been very up and down and not helped by mobile phone woes. We cannot get our old number back on site now because the algorithm recognises the number as already being allocated …to some-one else, BUT, that ‘some-one else’ was us! Awe, the wonders of modern technology!

The Adult Industry is no different from any other these days in that to succeed you need to be promoting on the web, including using social media. I have been learning internet marketing for the past couple of years, can now build websites and funnels quite well, and find myself regularly rubbing shoulders with the ‘great and the good’ in that industry via seminars and conferences. These people talk a lot about ‘social proof’ and the need to be ‘authentic’. This has led me to do a lot of soul searching over recent months because ‘authentic me’ (and Minx for that matter) is a person who is FULL ON, either ALL or NOTHING, some-one who DELIVERS 100% to my customer, some-one who says what he thinks from the heart without much care for the consequences, some-one sickened by double standards & the falseness of so much we see in today’s ‘socially media driven’ world. You see, its like this: when Minx and I are entertaining a client, we go about it because it’s almost our raison-d’etre; we are both naturally very sexual people and able to immerse ourselves totally in the scene. That connection is frequently picked up on by clients who tell us all too often, those other providers, particularly the foreigners in our midst…merely ‘go through the motions’ not to mention watching the clock and in many cases, dispatching them well before time! In common with many folk our age, we have always downplayed our abilities and skills, and that hasn’t mattered too much because wheels USED TO TURN very slowly, however, in this new digital world one cannot be so blasé. Because the savvy social media brigade are shouting from the rooftops…these people MUST BE GOOD because they’ve got a zillion ‘likes’ and they’re on ‘Linked In’ which of course gives them 'instant credibility' (REALLY??). Its common knowledge that if you’re chasing success then you need to be associating with winners not losers…as I’ve learned more I’ve wanted to mix with some of these millionaire people…nothing heavy…just to meet and talk, have a few drinks, forge friendships, the kind of thing business people used to do…I’ve had friends like that before, but they’re sadly passed; I held out my hand to some of these entrepreneurs but the realization gradually sunk in; Today’s version of a friendship is NOW, all too often a Facebook Group. I was encouraged to join one such group, and, within a few days people I’d never met, were talking to me on first name terms, and SHARING their stuff with me. OK, I don’t bother with much SM because I’m not remotely interested in peoples grand-kids, or who they’re slagging off, or what they had for breakfast or the third fancy holiday they’ve taken this year blah blah This ‘business’ friendship though was supposed to be different. It was supposed to nurture advancement among like-minded people. Tbh it made me SICK. There were people marketing stuff and saying how wonderful they were, and others patting them on the back…but very few of them MAKING ANY MONEY! The people making the real money were the people ‘sharing’ information with them via courses on sale at £1500 a time! U don’t need many people shelling out 1500 sobs to become a millionaire double quick.

So, this ‘authentic’ word that these people were ramming down my throat hit a NERVE. I have always been authentic and true to myself as has Minx. And much of all this new stuff isn’t me. Yet we are being sold the story that most every-one and their neighbor is buying all and sundry from their phone or ‘device’ and they’re all connected on social media… And to succeed, you really have to be on the wave. So on the one hand, Minx and I are involved in a VERY DEEP & GENUINE 121 connection in the bedroom with our client, and on the other hand we are being sold the story that to succeed commercially we need a DEEP CONNECTION with potential new clients via social media…which is a very FLIMSY FALSE & TAWDRY connection…in our eyes (but not in the eyes of the serious internet players). That deep 121 connection with our clients pays off; we ARE successful as an escort couple. One recent visitor summed it up to a ‘T’. He had communicated his desires to us very fully beforehand (no crude one liner from him!) and was obviously an experienced player who took time to choose who to spend his time and money with carefully. In common with many, he covered himself to a degree by telling us that ‘sometimes he had a problem getting hard’. Not that we noticed, with a good solid boner for nearly an hour, and an explosive meet…he told us at the conclusion that he worked on the basis of ‘NO CONNECTION NO ERECTION!’ I loved that! He confided that on a few previous occasions he had been turned off by a service provider, paid his money and walked…a tale we’ve heard several times now. As escorts we have to have the skills to conjure up that connection. We and a select few of our competitors can do that, and it is the reason for our success. If people don’t have those skills then they shouldn’t be doing it! There are many youngsters on Escort sites, some in their teens and many in their low twenties…I question how these people can really deliver? They just don’t have the life experience or the human relationship experience…it’s not just about fucking, granted some people might just want that, but our clients in the main, look for a deeper & more sensual experience…as well as the fucking! Conversely we ourselves don’t connect so well with many youngsters weened on fickle social media ‘friendships’, & is the primary reason we prefer to meet more mature people. We perceive a very stark contrast in the values and lifestyles between the under 35’s and the overs.

All this matters more to us because of our efforts with our niche brand coming soon aimed at sexually active 40-70+ year old people many of whom shun social media. Problems such as ED, debilitating illnesses, stale relationships, partners who are no longer interested or able to perform are frequent issues we are exposed to and want to help with through our brand. The big question is HOW DO WE ENGAGE WITH THESE PEOPLE, REMAINING AUTHENTIC AND TRUE TO OURSELVES IN ORDER TO BUILD OUR BRAND? …which is very necessary as we grow older ourselves! Answers on a postcard please LOL!

Stay hornee, Love, fun50couple xxx