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Sunday, December 17th 2023

THE NIGHTMARE OF NIGHTMARES!

For the past two days, I've been plagued by these absolutely dreadful nightmares that have been nothing short of utterly terrifying. I have a rather eratic sleep pattern where I find myself heading to bed quite early, like 6pm. Then, in the middle of the night around midnight, I wake up and find myself wandering around, making a cup of tea. But the real adventure begins when I finally return to bed around 4 am, as that's when the nightmares decide to pay me a visit.

So, picture this: I somehow ended up in a car in the depths of Wales, even though In real life I have a dreadful phobia about driving I'm absolutely terrified of it! Anyway guess what? No satnav, no phone, nothing to rely on. Just me and my nightmare scenario. So there I was, winding my way through these Welsh mountains, with their terrifyingly steep cliff-like drops. And as if that wasn't enough, I had to conquer these ridiculously high bridges that seemed to stretch endlessly up into the heavens above- Seriously, they just kept going and going!

I'm clutching onto the wheel for dear life and all I can say is that I am absolutely petrified!! I am sobbing and fervently praying to Jesus, desperately hoping to find my way back to Holloway Road. It felt like an absolute nightmare, an experience I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

And then today at 4 am this morning I went back to bed and yet again slumber into another fucked up horrifying nightmare...this time, I found myself in quite a predicament. London had been taken over by a rather eccentric group of people who were quite enthusiastic about their beliefs. These folks, armed with weapons, had a rather ambitious goal of eliminating every English person in the country. To my surprise, I ended up being held captive in a building by a rather interesting husband and wife team who were part of this organisation. They were dressed in these long, cloak-like garments that reminded me of something that the freemasons would wear

They had this rather unconventional way of restraining me, using some sort of bizarre wire that was both blunt and sharp-edged. To which they proceeded to encircle and tie me up and then began engaging in some rather unconventional torturous activities, which I can't quite recall in vivid detail. However, what I do remember is that they sported icy grim faces the whole time.

I suddenly woke up as they were poking needles into my toes. When I finally regained full consciousness, I felt like I had been through a brutal ordeal, as if I had been dragged through the streets by the hair. It was absolutely dreadful. I managed to get out of bed, but even though dreams are supposed to fade away, I'm still vividly remembering it now, even at 11 am! The nightmare I had yesterday kept haunting me all day long, and now this new one seems like it will have the same effect!

Sunday, December 10th 2023

MY DAILY MANTRA TO THE HIGHER MOON GODS!

''I kiss the candle and whisper into the ear of O father sky to set the watch today, against the horns of the he-goat, to defend me, for I am powerful and blessed.' I beseech you, O mother Earth AND O father sky to crush those who seek my vengeance and who curse me with their venom, for I am innocent....'

( Now chanting X3 - Asteria- Isis- Athena- Diana- hecate- demeter-Inanna - Inana Kali...

I sacrifice myself and offer this devout chalice, together with this peice of garlic Up to the higher moon gods, the Queen of Ghosts, and of course to commander Nymphi, for guiding me along this path of creation and exploration... ''Hear me! Us...Hear us! hail to the guardians of the wicca witch tower! Powers of fire and feeling ...hear Us, we pray of three, we pray of thee! Dearest Serpent and ruler of the deep- show us Your glory! Fill me!' Be forever gracious to the whispers of the prophecy...Take my hand, O goddesses, let the magic flow through me...''

Thursday, November 23rd 2023

RIVETING MORNING CHAT WITH FRIEND!

There's nothing quite like a jolly good Old fashioned intelligent conversation with an Old friend is there?

Usually most mornings I phone my old friend -Brian (who I've now known for several years
However our conversation usually consists of 2 words '' Hello''......and ''Goodbye'' (with a very long silence in between) because apart from these 2 words we don't have much else to say ...
So today I decided to make a bit more effort with conversation- this is how it went:- As per follows [this is the complete Transcript]

Sue-''Did you know that Leaf sweepers are out on the streets today Brian?''
Brian- ''No I didn't actually...''
Sue- ''I think they're a waste of space sweeping up the leaves, don't you?''......( silence)
Brian- '' Uhmmmm Oh yes perhaps they are''
Sue-'' My mother once told me that all leaves get sucked down into the ground by worms to make fertilizer...true isn't it?''

Brian-'' Well....worms can't suck in leaves through a concrete pavement can they''?
Sue- ''Dunno- can't they ??''

And that was it ![followed by a long interval of- silence].....So I then wrapped it up by bidding goodbye to Brian ''Bye Bye then Brian'' [Brian-> ''Bye Bye then Sue''

Thursday, November 2nd 2023

UTTERLY BITTERLY BITTER!

My Poem about My Local refuse Team!...Titled - UTTERLY BITTERLY BITTER!

Oh, bitter am I, With a heavy sigh, In this world so cold, My heart's story untold....

...Oh, how utterly bitterly bitter I feel, oh so deeply, the bitter sting, Of the garbage, a problem, in Islington it brings. Utterly, bitterly, my heart does ache, For a solution, oh, how I long to make...

If only, a whispered plea, In the depths of longing, it be, A wistful sigh, a heartfelt plea~ If only, oh, if only Oh, if only' for how I long for the refuse teams arrival... to collect the rubbish that burdens my soul, but alas, my sadness deepens with each passing week, as they approach with their smelly lorry in tow. Ensnared, confined by squalor's embrace, Oh, the bitterness within my soul does trace ...With careless abandon, they then let it all just fall, , Leaving a trail of rubbish, one and all. A path of garbage, lining the street, As if entitled, their actions repeat....

Oh, the bitterness within me runs deep, A feeling that consumes, like a river so steep. My heart, heavy with sorrow, it does reel, Oh, how 'utterly bitterly bitter' I feel....

...LONDON...
To witness the degradation and decline, Of London town, a tale so fine. One for the narrative, my friends, Where sorrow and despair transcends. The city's glory, now fading away, A story of darkness, in disarray...

Torn apart, at seams unravelled, Declining, a pace that time can't handle....

In London town, where no road sweepers roam, No police in sight, just remnants of the stench of GARBAGE alone. The bustling streets, once filled with life's refrain, Now echo with the remnants of what remains...

Let us momentarily forget climate change's plight, For it shall find its own solution, in time's flight. Instead, let us focus on the garbage's blight, And the stench of decay, a problem we must ignite!

The End

Saturday, October 14th 2023

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS!

I was strolling down Holloway Road having just been to Costa Coffee for my morning caffeine and nicotine thrust when I saw this advertisement in the window of the Holloway Road nags head community centre advertising for a Senior smoking lecturer…I thought to myself, ''Goodness me I think I could do that!"

The advert said-
We are looking for a former heavy smoker to lecture anyone trying to enjoy a cigarette

I dashed inside the community centre to get the job description, and while I was there, I thought to myself, "I can do this." Let's just say that I recently quit smoking for the sake of argument... what a simple job this would be- Getting paid for lecturing people about smoking...Oh Wow Opportunity knocks!

As soon as I got home I brewed a pot of tea, lit up a cigarette, and started reading the job description.

It stated that the successful candidate needed to be able to lecture about the dangers of smoking (which, at this point, I thought was a very positive vibe

The candidate also needs to be able to know the exact amount of money that people will be saving as well as find out what they are going to spend this money on....( I was thinking ...Oh so it involves a bit of arithmetic...Mmmnnn ah that could be a bit tricky Cuz I'm no good with numbers....Oh well let's read on, I can wangle that one I suppose...

It then said that as a senior smoking lecturer I woulld be required to make an announcement about how much better the ex smoker will feel - telling them how drastically healthier it will be when their lungs are back up and fully inflated....( I was thinking- Blimey Yeah! of course! I forgot about that!

Underneath that paragraph it said- The senior smoking lecturer you should be able to describe ALL the ailments that come along with smoking- like e.g., ''The hacking cough''...

After that, I came to the objectives of the job specification, which said-

The ability for the new non smoker to be able to start every sentence with "When I was a smoker..." is essential and they will need to acquire proficient skills in conversation about any topic, ranging from ( politics, sport, Tv Plus+, The new ex- smoker should also be able to smuggly condemn the tobacco industry and have knowledge of ALL the health benefits of living a life free of cigarettes...

After that, I made a beeline for the salary information, which was-

£32,000 (Plus an ongoing allowance for nicotine gum)... I observed that the very last paragraph was in such small print that I could barely read it for squinting- I managed to decipher that this was a temporary position as it said: The expectation is that the successful candidate may not be able to fulfill this role on a long term contract as it is evisaged that they will be back on a 100 fags a day within a month.

Wednesday, September 27th 2023

THE AGENCY

So, after hopping around like a kangaroo on a trampoline, I finally decided to settle down on this platform in 2010. I had a profile back then, but like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I started fresh with this "newish" profile in October 2021. It's like hitting the reset button, but with a touch of déjà vu. Before this magical platform came into my life, I foolishly subjected myself to the torturous world of agency work. On my very first day, I was chosen to be the substitute for an exotic black woman that this client had requested. Little did I know, the photos on the agency website were all fake- So there I was, a pale, blonde, and about as exotic as a potato. Talk about a surprise for the customer when I showed up at his door!

When the client opened the door and caught sight of me, his face turned into a mix of surprise and anger. He exclaimed, "Oh my god you're white !" For which I found myself apologising for the sheer audacity of being born with a fair complexion and making grand promises to single-handedly solve the world's problems, I sprinted down the driveway of this house and hid behind a tree so that I could discreetly call up the agency to speak to POPS. Pops was the agency Boss (pimp extraordinaire,) So I explained the predicament that the client had expected an exotic creature but he bellowed, "CONVINCE HIM!!" I replied ''Sorry pops I don't know what you mean?...do you mean I have to convince him that I'm actually black although I'm obviously white ?''This time Pops voice was getting LOUDER and now he was screaming at the other end ''I told you TO FUCKING convince him You dumbass!!! I was going ''Aye?'' but pops was beginning to completely lose it-

"Oh maaaaan it sure looks like someone's got a case of the "ain't-no-good-itis"! Oh maaaaaaaaan, you're no fucking good man...You just aint NO GOOD...'' (He repeated the words- 'You aint no good Man' about half a dozen times!) Now he really was getting worked up and was now Screaming " Naaaaaaaow Listen moron-git dat butt arse o' yours back to dat fucken den AND get dat muvva fuckin' money OR else !!!!'' And with that, he hung up the phone.

So, there I was, sprinting, back to the customer's door for the second round of door-knocking extravaganza. The customer graced me with a charmingly snarly "hello again," and this time let me into the hallway, where he then decided to serenade me with some melodious shouting asking me "so where's my black woman???!!!!"Any idea where she is???

I said ''Look I'm really sorry you're disappointed... really I am, but' Im' sure I will be able to do EVERYTHING that any exotic sort of bird can do, believe it or not I think I might even be able to do it a lot better. O-k-a-y so I'm not exactly 'exotic' BUT I can be VERY erotic ''sure, sure,'' he moaned, ''So, I guess my black woman is in demand is she?'' (Meanwhile I'm thinking- Little do you know that the exotic bird doesn't even exist, mate)'
Cuz it transpired that not a single Sex worker on this Agency website was REAL and there was nobody else that I knew about who did actually toil for this Phantom agency - all except for yours truly, 'ME , myself and 'I'....

So! because all this happened several years ago I now have a fading memory about how this particular scenario ended but I do however vaguely recall shedding my clothes and then gracefully twirling and pirouetting around the room hoping to dazzle the client into thinking that I was the epitome of ''exoticness'' even though I was not the 'exotic chick' that he had picked out from this agency website.... (Ah yeah... the lengths we go to make a lasting impression! Oh boy, talk about a sight for sore eyes!

Saturday, July 29th 2023

Buying Cherie, A.K.A. "The Sex Dolly"

So, I was casually browsing the vast depths of the internet, on a quest to find the ultimate bargain for a lifelike Sex doll- You know, one of those uncannily realistic dolls that could easily pass for a genuine human. Gender? Meh, not really a concern for me. As long as this synthetic marvel had that authentic, skin-like silicone and has moving eyeballs, I was game. Oh boy, have you heard about these futuristic sex dolls? Apparently, they are practically human clones! I mean, they can even chat with you . And get this, they are not just eye candy, they can actually do some basic chores too. Who needs a butler when you have a sex doll that can make you a cup of tea?

After diving deep into the abyss of sex dolls, I stumbled upon a few that really caught my attention. These dolls were not your average lifeless mannequins, oh no! They had a certain je ne sais quoi, and a spark of, um... personality, if you like. I was especially keen as I said to find a sex doll with moving eyeballs…I mean, who wants to have a conversation with a doll that looks like it is lost in the Bermuda Triangle of emptiness? I can't think of anything more exasperating than trying to have a deep conversation with a doll that makes you feel like you've lost your marbles.

You might be wondering why it is that I want a sex doll?

"Um" I dunno" really, I mean this could make for a captivating opening act for my guests I'm certain it would be a marvellous icebreaker, you know, just to keep things interesting, and maybe (obviously) to utilize it as a smidgen of, uh... impromptu fun... because why not? Oh, and I had this brilliant idea that we could collaborate together on creating some scandalous and avantgarde blue movies....OK LOOK! I must confess, that for some inexplicable reason, I've had this weird curiosity for sex dollies. It's a peculiar interest, I know, but it's just that there's 'something' strangely interesting about having artificial synthetic 'friends' that 'tickles my fancy'.

And so after doing some research, Who would know that silicone friends came with a huge price tag (Looks like my dreams of having a plastic partner will have to wait until I win the lottery) Oh boy, those realistic dollies were so expensive, they might just as well have been made of solid gold- My budget took one look at the price tag and ran for the hills (To be honest, I shouldn't even have a budget for this ridiculously peculiar purchase!)

It was becoming obvious that I would have to settle for less. It appeared that my options were limited to either acquiring an exorbitantly priced sex doll OR otherwise resorting to a woefully cheap alternative...

The customer reviews for these inexpensive knock-offs were not at all exciting and failed to spark any sort of love affair with me, although I did stumble upon 'Cherie''

well, it seems Cherie was the belle of the budget-friendly sex doll ! But alas, she was not exactly the chatty type. No deep conversations or tea parties with this gal, I am afraid. She was strictly in the business of pleasure, no small talk or tea brewing skills included…however! She possessed a pair of truly splendid breasts (and, of course, all the necessary openings!) So, feeling a tad bit wild, I made the daring choice to treat myself to Cherie - because, you know, life at times needs a little extra kick, right?

I was like, "Alright, Cherie, you can come hang out in my basket darling." But then I thought, "Hold up, let me see what other people have to say about you first, Cherie"

Steve from Harlow- Essex

...''Mouth worked. Other holes were sealed and punctured''

Julian from Devon

''Her assets are definitely not made for erm 'actions'...You don't notice this until you've pumped her up for the first time''

Mike from Brixton

...''Everything is Great!!!!!...Thank you!''

Terry from Wales

'FAST SHIPPING!''

Daniel from Berkshire

...''Very Very disappointed, would not blow up''

Peter from Somerset

'' REALLY CHEAP!!!!''

Defying all odds, I bravely proceeded to make my purchase of my very own dolly-bird sex doll, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my 'special delivery'. Keep your eyes peeled on this very spot!

Saturday, July 1st 2023

CLIENT SERVITUDE!

Let me tell you about a recent meeting I had with a Client...

Out of the blue, I had this surge of irresistible impulsiveness which hit me like a ton of bricks. In a morn of mystique, untamed & free, With antics wild, as if from dreams they flee, I stood poised, eager, to seize the thrill, That lay ahead, my heart with joy to fill…

And so, the epic saga of my mundane existence continues! I had this absolutely great idea to give the Client a fashion- makeover by putting this trendy leather metal caged hood over his head, and then, out of nowhere, suddenly thought, why not throw in a couple of Dildos into the mix? So, with gleeful enthusiasm I then popped the first one into the Client's mouth... and then another one (which, by the way, were now sticking out of his mouth in the most hilariously inappropriate manner Oh, ha ha, what an absolute knee- slapper! Oh how we laughed (without a doubt, my dear Watson)

...O-K-A-Y, so you don't think that this is amusing enough for you? Well, I guess I'rll just have to try harder to tickle your funny bone. Alrighty let's try again- Brace yourself and prepare to be blown away by the next bit as I take on the challenge of making this even more side-splittingly entertaining. Hold onto your virtual beer handles chaps, as hilarity is about to ensue (Disclaimer: I will try my best, but no guarantees on the actual amusement level)

By now I was laughing so hard that I almost had a little accident in my pants (don't worry, I managed to hold it in) But! get this, the clients mood was now taking a huge nosedive when I decided to spice things up by suspending him from the ceiling, while strapped into my fancy new gadget ( a top-of-the-line rotating straight jacket) Talk about taking the phrase "hanging out" to a whole new level...Blimey the angle was perfect for gaining access to his...uh, balls, so naturally, at this point I couldn't resist attaching a parachute harness around the...ahem,... family jewels ( Let's just say he was a little off balance for a while) Ah but! it's all in good Pun isn't it? (it seems that somebody (Moi) had quite the eventful morning !

Little did I know that embarking on an adventure of 'gentlemen exploration' would prove to be a most revitalizing way to start the day (Forget Weetabix) Okay so! 'Imprisonment & servitude', are just a glimpse into the vast expanse of my remarkably diverse & exquisitely creative repertoire of play. Plus I have a vast collection of uniforms/ Role Play outfits which take up a whole room by themselves (Goodness me Sue! You really know how to keep things intriguing don't You?

Well, yes… In the realm of discourse, doth thou dare? To challenge the winds of thought, beware! Sue will keep you guessing. She is the ruler of revelry… A mysterious allure, A mistress of intrigue, who will leave you longing for more and more…with bated…'

Saturday, May 20th 2023

A 'LADY' CAN BE BORN IN A COW SHED

Yesterday afternoon I was at home twiddling my thumbs feeling bored & wondering what to do with myself, when lo and behold, a very good friend of mine ( an elderly gentleman who I've known for several years) called me up and told me that he was in London because he was meeting up with another gentleman who he had ONLY recently become acquainted with whilst quaffing a pint in a swanky Mayfair pub during a recent trip here a few weeks earlier....

And so My good friend then asked me to join him and this other elderly supposedly 'distinguished' gentleman to meet for lunch and drinks at this well- known ex- veteran Military private club in London exclusively reserved for the crème de la crème of society (and definitely NOT for the likes of commoners Like MOI! (OR so I was informed much later!) Ok! so allow me to tell you some backstory about this new fresh- face acquaintance in my friend's life...

Ah, Nigel the Guttersnipe, or so we shall refer to him for the sake of confidentiality. From what I gather, he fancies himself as quite the distinguished gentleman, boasting of his Harrovian roots and speaking with a certain je ne sais quoi. He resides in the illustrious Mayfair, taking up residence in none other than the former abode of rock legend Jimi Hendrix. One can often find him indulging in the finest champagne, living a life of luxury and excess. And, if the rumours are true, he is soon to be wed for the umpteenth time to a Lady of high society

This geezer claimed to be worth a king's ransom, and had properties in France, Monte Carlo, and god knows where else. But! here's the kicker - his stories seemingly kept changing with an array of varying contradictions. Since hooking up with my friend as his new found buddy this so called highly esteemed and well- connected bloke has been spinning all sorts of yarns that didn't quite add up to being the actual reality of truth.

So! I accept my friends invitation and get all dolled up and then head over to this pub in Mayfair (where I had arranged to meet my good friend for a few pre- meal drinks before linking up with this Nigel at (what I was told was a VERY niche exclusive 'Posh' ex military veterans Club) Anyway ! I arrived at the pub and was greeted by my good friend where we clinked glasses, before heading off to this swanky 'POSH' private club...

Now brace yourself for this! (Cuz this is where the tale takes on a 'frightfully' bizarre twist!

Anyhow! my friend then text Nigel and told him that he would also be bringing me along to the very 'Posh' club for this booked luncheon, BUT, Little did I know, that my friend had ONLY just that minute told Nigel about my attendance, meanwhile at the time I was none the wiser what Nigel had said in his response to that Cuz my friend at the time chose to NOT say anything, fearing that it would ruffle my feathers and result in some sort of physical altercation.... (ah yes! my good friend Indeed knows me ALL too well! )

and so! this was the nub of it! The good old Eastender from a working class background...& a Salt of the Earth sort of character', was basically how my friend had described me to this new 'posh' friend of his, Nigel.

Allegedly, this esteemed Nigel then replied to my friends text, exclaiming: "Oh NOooo You cannot bring her along! This club is exclusively reserved for the elite, such as our good selves, my dear fellow.... definitely not for commoners My dear Chap!'' ( I suppose the Old saying is ''You can take the woman out of the East End, but you can't take the East End out of the woman''....

My friend had previously mentioned to me, a few stories about this newfound pal, and from what I gathered, Nigel seemed to be a huge fantasist Porky pie tale teller, a BILLY LIAR if you will, The stories were far -fetched and too contradictory to be valid, thus I promptly WARNED my friend from the beginning that this chap was NOTHING more than just a conniving amphibian who was a prolific scamming spinner of LIES. Despite Nigels haughty airs of grandeur, I firmly believed and KNEW instinctively, that he was some sort of fraudulent scoundrel, who more likely didn't own anything at all ( except for a PISS POT perhaps?)

We arrived at the club (however still no Nigel!) Rumour had it that he was stuck on a ''common'' London Transport Bus, which was still chugging its way through traffic But! fear not! for I'm sure that this grand gentleman shall arrive fashionably late? so, In the meanwhile we sauntered over to the bar to quench our thirst and indulge in some much-needed libations... as we waited for the arrival of the man himself-> NIGEL!.

Time is a-tickin' AND 'Nigel' is still nowhere to be seen, this 'fashionably' late scenario is fast losing appeal of acceptability (and is now resembling fucking downright rude behaviour on his part, for keeping us waiting so long!) My friend then gets a text from Nigel which says '' I'm en route so you Can Order me a Ceasar salad ... AND get a bottle of bubbly whilst you're at it'' My friend looks shocked by this and responds with ''O-k-A-Y, so I assume this will Obviously go on YOUR tab Nigel? (HOWEVER Nigel texts back with,

''NO, YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT ''... ( Nigels says his bank cards had been 'Compromised' and he declares that he basically hasn't got any money ( wow how convenient?)

We continue to bide our time having a few more drinks, yet nary is there a glimpse of the illustrious Posh Nigel who is nowhere to be seen....

After finishing our drinks, we made our way to the most luxurious chamber of the club. Once reserved solely for the most distinguished of gentlemen, this room now welcomes only the most refined and sophisticated of ladies ( but as far as Nigel was concerned 'I' Yes 'MOI' ME shouldn't be allowed in that room (Cuz I'm far too common for the likes of those Posh people who should be! (OR so Nigel reckons)

I'm by now feeling super hungry (& a bit on the wobbly side from all the drinks I'd had) My patience is wearing thin because we are STILL wait for this fucking bloke Nigel,to arrive!

Then a few moments later the notorious highfalutin Nigel makes his grand entrance. Well, well, look who decided to grace us with their presence? Yay! It's the 'infamous' Nigel himself! I have to say that My eyes were met with a sight that could only be described as eccentric. A fedora sat atop his head, perfectly complementing his aristocratic mop of (scruffy) hair . A multi-coloured scarf, reminiscent of the great Doctor Who, was wrapped around his neck, adding a touch of whimsy to his ensemble. He was draped in a luxurious velvet electric blue jacket. And in his hand, he carried a tote shopping bag, the contents of which were a mystery to all who beheld it.

I got up out of my seat and make my way over to Politely shake his hand (as yew do!)...However! in contrast to my welcome, his greetings to me was rather the complete opposite, and very unpleasant, .

Nigel Looked at my friend (who was sitting Opposite me) and he asked "Why is SHE here???" I did say to you didn't I, that commoners are NOT welcome here...''

I just stood there staring at him up and down from head to toe, and then launched into him '' You Sir, are nothing but a complete UTTER disgrace, and I mean a DISGRACE! Just take a good look at yourself ...you're nothing but a complete mess, Now tell me ''exactly'' how posh YOU are? You sir, have no dignity and not an ounce of decency about ya worth mentioning; I, have more moral fibre in my little finger than your whole god damn self put together, Now! get the fuck outta here you worthless scumbag OR I'm gonna be kicking your majesty's a$$ all the way out that door!''

(Meanwhile, My friend remained quiet during this whole altercation ( but afterwards agreed that EVERYTHING I had said had been completely justified).

Nigel, with his tail between his legs, then slunk out of the club...

After this bizarre showdown we left the 'Posh' club and decided to go to the Ritz instead for dinner and while that part of the day was most enjoyable THIS Nigel scenario was just soooooo out of the ordinary bizarre, that I felt compelled to write about it today.

Tuesday, May 2nd 2023

BENEATH THE BLACK VEIL!

Beneath the Black Veil

Obsessed with the color black and the concept of death. Can not hide my fascination with these two things! Obsessed with these two motifs that symbolize the journey of life! They are seriously inspiring and so relevant to my life.

Just received a message from someone today about how my ideology on this topic seemed to be quite depressing. OK, loves! I hear you loud and clear, and while I totally get where you are coming from, I personally find myself drawn to the mystique and allure of death. There is something so spiritual and profound about embracing the taboo and celebrating the beauty of it all. Who is with me on this?

I just love how thought-provoking and deep conversations about the concept of death can be. It is always a topic that sparks such interesting discussions and brings people together in such a unique way. I find myself constantly bringing it up at parties and social gatherings, and it never fails to get everyone engaged and sharing their own perspectives. There is been some confusion about my content lately, but I just wanted to clear the air and let you know that talking about death is actually something I am super passionate about! Do NOT worry, I am not being stifled by anyone or anything, So Let's keep the conversation going shall we?
Let us talk about Death! I mean, I can not help but use the most thrilling and captivating words when describing it. It is like a luxurious getaway to the Bahamas, am I right? But then, some people have called me an "Utta nutta" for it. Ugh, so unfair!

For me, death is as much part of life as breathing, fucking and eating quite frankly.

My fascination for this started at a very early age...Just reminiscing about the time my father opened up to me about his ulcerative colitis diagnosis in such great detail. #familybonding #healthawareness So, while most people would have been totally grossed out by this, I actually found it super interesting to hear all about my dad's debilitating condition! It was actually kind of a bonding experience for us!

I have a soft spot for the human body in all its unpredictable glory! My dear friends know that they can always count on me to lend an ear when they are experiencing any peculiarities such as unusual lumps and bumps, excessive fluid leakages, and even unexplained droppings and so forth, and I'm not saying this to show off in a braggadocious sort of way neither!, but I am always there to offer a listening ear when they feel too shy to speak to their doctor.

As a young Curious mere slip of a gal, I discovered my insatiable thirst for the exclusive knowledge typically reserved for medical professionals. My heart raced as I stumbled upon spine-tingling surgical videos, igniting a passion for the clinical path. It is no wonder I pursued a career in medical school!

I must confess, I have recently discovered my love for strolling through cemeteries. As a self-proclaimed "taphophiliac," I find visiting graveyards to be one of the most soothing and enjoyable activities. Reading headstones is also a passion of mine, and I am sure many of you can relate to the fascination of learning about those who have passed before us. I find it quite intriguing to peruse obituaries of complete strangers who have departed this world. It is fascinating to read through the heartfelt comments left by the departed's old friends, reminiscing about the good old days they shared. And yes, I do believe that my somewhat morbid fascination adds a certain depth and richness to my life!

my laptop browser is totally free of any smutty sex or dating sites. Keeping it clean and classy over here! #cleanbrowsing #classy #onlinerespect Oopsie! But every now and then, I like to indulge in some exposure therapy by browsing through websites where people share videos of peculiar places where human remains have been discovered. It is my little guilty pleasure! Just make sure to clear my browser history when I am gone, okay?

Monday, March 27th 2023

MY NEW HOUSE SLIPPERS!

I decided to search online for a new, stylish pair of house slippers because all the fluff in my current pair has gone completely flat. Despite the fact that my feet are very small and actually rather pretty I do however, have a corn on the right foot which gives me a bit of discomfort every now and then which is most unpleasant and feels like I'm walking on a chunk of concrete and because of that I sometimes shave/cut the top of the corn off using a pair of sharp scissors ( My mother has always told me to NOT use scissors as she said she knew someone who got Gangrene from doing it.....and of whom ended up having both leg and foot surgically amputated) I personally always thought that sounded a bit of an exaggeration ....but, there you go!

I soon discovered the perfect pair with these maroon paisley-patterned closed-in slippers with velcro straps which had me gushing and admiring how incredibly cushioned and comfortable they seemed. I was also thinking "Gosh, these slippers are really stylish too!" Without a doubt, I'll get those. Yeah, those chic fluffy cosy slippers are what I want. Oh mama, I'm going to feel like I'm ascending to heaven on a cloud

I was so excited with my purchase that I decided to look at ALL the reviews!!

But Then, after reading the following I realised pretty pronto that I didn't want the fucking things after all

Windsor resident Barbara

''They were perfect for my 96-year-old, somewhat fastidious mother, who loved them! Comfortable on top, strong heel, and simple to slip on!! Great!!''

Enid, from Yorkshire thought that-

''They have really Lovely velcro fasteners and nice firm soles...''

They are non-slip too, so I wear them outside to go to the Dustbin...''

so I have now purchased 10 pairs...

Lovely, Lovely!

Glasgow native Mrs. Dooley says

''They are ideal since they extend to fit swelling ankles for my 84-year-old mother''.

Excellent!!!!

Dierdre, a Londoner also says

Even though I'm in my late 70s, I still appreciate dressing extremely stylishly. These slippers seem really modern. Very snug! I can wear my slippers outside because they have great, sturdy undersoles. Absolutely smashing!

After reading all the glowing reviews, I reconsidered my decision to purchase a pair of these slippers and instead requested a refund. The slippers seemed to ONLY be enjoyed by very old women who had various afflictions like swollen feet, ankles, and other issues (which is OK, I think, and the slippers would probably be excellent), as they are also ideal for trips of going back and forth outside to the dustbin.

The fact that I am looking and choosing EXACTLY the same things that are popular among women whose age ranges from around 75 to 90 years old is evident that I am unofficially reaching my final senior years

Monday, March 6th 2023

A VISIT FROM THE MEN IN BLUE!

Oddly, I unexpectedly had a visit from 'The men in blue'...

Before that, I had been getting ready to go to a meeting, so I had a bunch of high heels and kinky latex undies and outfits strewn about the place. Being the "typical woman," I couldn't decide what to wear, so there were also a lot of scanty pants, suspender belts, kinky catsuits, and so forth lying around.

when there was an unexpected knock on the door...

I'm wondering who might be there ?

Again, there's another knock knock.

At first, I was under the impression that it was the strange Chap who lives downstairs because he is always knocking on the walls etc., (I don't know why he does it, but he does...)

I opened the door
It was 'The men in Blue'

"Well, hello, officers what can I do for you?'' I said

A request to come inside was granted (I didn't see any reason to refuse), and they entered the foyer they were obviously immediately surrounded by all my 'suggestive' apparel, In addition to that, I myself was also wearing an outfit that could be considered as quite risque; low-cut top, a cheap plastic costume bikers jacket (with the word 'Grease' across the back), skin-tight shiny pants (a imitation of Sandy from the Grease movie, in other words!), together with the necessary muvva fuckin' sky scrapin' heels. As the officers stood in my foyer I noticed this particularly racy lingerie ensemble which was hanging over my staircase bannister and so I quickly leaned up against it, trying to hide it with my right hand. I apologised for the general chaos that had descended upon them. Nevermind about 'WHY' they were there; I was more concerned about WHAT was on exhibit!

Then one of the officers said

''Don't worry, you're not in trouble''

I'm thinking... (You wanna bet'...

...Suddenly, I remembered that there was several framed photographs of me hanging from the ceiling in various enigmatic poses tied up in Yards of shibari rope that adorned the walls of my bedroom, So I'm thinking, "Oh, no, I pray they don't go in there!" ....with all this provocative stuff all around them Including the pair of BDSM-branded PVC pants that were lying on the floor a few feet away from where they were standing... In response, I declared (truthfully) that I was a "Bohemian Artiste."

It turned out that a neighbour had reportedly filed some noise complaint (not about me) but about 'somebody'...

and so, Inquiring minds now wanted to know my opinion...

Because of where I come from, my family history, and the way I was brought up, one of the things that was ingrained in me was to NEVER discuss the "happenings" of other people., especially if there was a possibility that they were in trouble or something similar....My father, who was, shall we say, a bit of a rogue, worked as a scrap metal dealer and was also what was known as a safe- key keeper for a London gang. At times he stashed explosives down the toilet (which was later used to explode bank safes and the whatnot),Therefore, I learnt early on to keep quiet about or withhold any information that could be considered as 'Sensitive' ( & especially not to someone wearing a uniform).

So, despite the fact that I don't get involved in the politics of my neighbourhood, I also don't participate in any kind of information exchange. Let's just put it that way.

Just before they left One of the officers asked, "So what do you do again?"

''As I've already said Officer, my actual title is "Entrepreneur Artiste"

''what kind of artistic thing do you do then?''

To put it simply, I went......'' hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......hmmmmmm''

They really put me in a jam, and my first thought was, "Damn it!" After that, I just blurted out.... ''In the past, I worked as a theatre actor, but! I've also got a few movie roles under my belt....''

''Really? Wow [The two officers then exchanged additional questions]

"Yeah?... so what movies were they?"

They seemed really interested, so I told them....

...''Well, a couple Bollywood flicks, and I was in The Muppets movie, actually," I mused, attempting to decide which films to donate....

...
One of the police officers asked, "Are you serious?" I responded with "Oh yeah.... for sure... yep" Yeah, yeah, those were probably the roles that brought me the most notoriety....umm.....Oh yeah...

... After closing the door behind them, I reflected on the situation...What in the name of all that is holy has this peculiar day turned out to be thus far!

Sunday, March 5th 2023

WESTERN SOCIETY IS FINISHED!

Last night when I was winding down for the night, I tuned into angel radio. It was the '40s theme, and I was lounging with my feet up with a glass of Bourdeaux in hand, listening to the wistful songs of that golden age. The lyrics were without doubt very romantic and wonderfully naïve at that time, which made them all the more endearing—if not a little tacky but Yet, then I fast-forwarded my thoughts to the present day and in comparison, my feelings got rather disheartened and disappointed.... that there is no romance anymore.... that the sentiment of this wonderful sense of....purity of innocence and moral fibre of value in society is gone.... and... gone forever...

Once upon a time it was like this:

...Tell me, my love, is there still a flame there?
Maybe only the lonesome remains of the spark we knew
Do I need to continue whistling in the dark?
serenade in blue...

You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Nature patterned you
And when she was done
You were all the sweet things
Rolled up in one

Now it's all like this:

"All the best to ya, Da Da ya wanna Watch yo mama now, go up and down till your jaw goes nuts! Shout me name, sweetheart, because I'm gonna trickle down your butt cheeks before you nut. make you wiggle before you giggle''...

In a nutshell, we've had it. Society is finished. End of. At least western society is finished….gone. Done with. Goodbye- finito The End

Tuesday, September 6th 2022

PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THESE MISERABLE SHOES

...If you ask me, these SAD SHOES tell a story...(and more than meets the eye!

Do you have any idea whose wearing these shoes? WHO they belong to?

I will give you a hint [These feet belong to a prince with red hair] Do you get my drift yet? Anyway! A few days ago, I was flipping through Vogue magazine and I zoomed in on this particular photo when I saw this!!!! .

These shoes must surely reveal some backdrop controversy that is taking place behind the scenes, right?
(and possibly even more than most people are actually aware of)

THOSE SHOES, in my opinion, are screaming out a message from the rooftops...So, What the hell is going on? like for instance- what is this Individuals current mental health status? (as well as the 'others' who are close to this person and this situation)

Why doesn't this person realise he's wearing rough shoes??? These shoes are so rough that they should be in a dustbin
After all, this is NOT some random Ol' commoner named Joe Bloggs

So What's evolving here? Surely there is something very wrong going on?...! OR is it just me? I mean is this some fashionable trend that I'm not aware of? Like is this a 2022 dirty shoes trend or something?.

These filthy, scuffed, and worn-out kicks look like they belong to some street urchin who has used super-glue to hold the soles together. I mean... if this Individuals other 'arf, was the selfless and caring person that she makes herself out to be, then surely she would suggest that he puts on some nicer shoes that don't make him look like some rough and tumble hillbilly hobo?

I mean 'why oh Why' Is he wearing such dirty horribly scruffy shoes here!!! Is it completely out of line for me to comment that THESE bloody monstrous things look like they were purchased from a Sue Ryder Oxfam charity shop which surely doesn't suit being featured in a high end fashion magazine?

Are these shoes 'a sign' that this person is exhausted? Exhausted from being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it ?

You are free to disagree with everything I have said here, but from where I am standing (and observing), I strongly get the impression that these feet are exuding misery