AdultWork.com - Phoebe Pretty's Blog

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Monday, September 23rd 2024

Blocking Mr. Manipulator

Over the years, it seems like I've become quite fine tuned to spotting someone with malevolent intentions. But that's in my work life and unfortunately I'm not so sharp in my personal life, especially when I considered this person to be a friend.

It's true what they say: You never really know someone. It helps to live with them to know them but I never lived with them, either. But they chased me and chased me earlier this year and eventually I gave in.

And wow, over the following few weeks it's like they became a different person from their persona that I knew and knew for many years. It's scary to think people can be so manipulative, but once they revealed their deeper self to me I could no longer ignore their fakeness and insincerity. So I blocked them and now they don't exist to me anymore and I feel much, much better for it.

Sometimes that's the only way to deal with these people, otherwise they just drag you down and rob you of your energy.

Thursday, August 8th 2024

Punk Weekend

Last weekend was the weekend I always look forward to every year. I have someone who always comes to see me during this week and he told me that I have no idea how much he looks forward to seeing me as part of his trip to Blackpool.

I also met another lovely guy this year as well and thoroughly enjoyed our meeting. He was also here for the same reason and had travelled extensively through the country. I hope to see him again next year.

Out of all the events here in Blackpool, it's the punk festival that seems to generate the most business for me. I have no time for the farmers and it seems they don't want to see me anyway. I'm sure there are lots of lovely people who attend this event, but during the years they have been coming to Blackpool, I have not seen one of them.

The George Formby event and the pigeon fanciers weekend has also generated some business for me in the past, but nothing is like the punk weekend, probably because there are so many of them!

I hope the events that happened in the town centre didn't spoil the weekend for people. I stayed well clear and it was the lovely man whom I met for the first time that warned me of the potential disruption. So thank you to him and I'm already looking forward to the same weekend next year.

Wednesday, July 17th 2024

Plans for the Next Decade

Next year will mark the 10th anniversary of this job. I can't quite believe that. I remember when I'd been doing this for a year and that doesn't seem that long ago! It's the longest time I've had any job, so I must be doing something right and I still love it. I've met some lovely people during that time, too.

But I got thinking what I plan to do in the next decade. If I'm pet free by then I will travel more. I've already seen a lot of the world but some holidays would be nice. In this past decade, I've just focused on work and my house and my hobbies, I've not had an extended break at all.

But as I'm getting older, I think I need to relax more. After all, who knows what is around the corner.

Monday, June 24th 2024

When the Stars Align

I'm not sure I believe in fate. I think I used to more when I was younger, but I still believe things happen how they're meant to. Not so much along the lines of everything happens for a reason, sort of thing, but I do believe there are things you can't escape from.

I was planning on taking the evening off one night last week because I thought a friend might come round. I had a potential booking that evening as well, but the man in question couldn't confirm a definite time until later. I have a lot of those scenarios where I could be doing several different things with my time, but everything is up in the air, so sometimes I end up doing nothing.

But sometimes things work out perfectly and a lot of the time plans get cancelled, so I end up doing something even better.

Wednesday, May 22nd 2024

Telepathy

I have long believed in the powers of telepathy. Whenever someone pops into my head all of a sudden they usually get in touch within the next few days. I used to have a friend who believed in this, too, saying whenever she wanted someone to call all she used to have to do was think of them.

In this job I think the power of telepathy is more common than I previously thought. Only the other week I text one of my regulars and he said it was so strange because he thought of me that morning. So it isn't just me that experiences it.

Years ago, I emailed another regular and he turned up on my doorstep an hour later! He's only ever done that once and he apologised because he knew it was a bit naughty. Back then I didn't mind but people know not to do that now.

Over the weekend I wore a dress that another client gave me last year. I saw them in January, that was the last time and on Monday they phoned me.

I could go on and on about countless experiences because there are many more. I just think it's strange to have this experience with so many people.

Thursday, April 25th 2024

In a Relationship

People often joke about how you know whether you're in a relationship by how often you have sex. I was a huge fan of Sex and the City when it was on television and I'm sure this subject was in their script as well.

I know through past relationships that this is sadly quite often true, just when you feel the most comfortable with the other person, too. And that is so frustrating!

I know through working this job that this is the cliche as well.
So, why is this so often the case?

All I can think is people become too comfortable and bored with the other person. Familiarity breeds contempt, right? Or something like that. Sex is no longer exciting, but bland and boring.

Tuesday, February 27th 2024

Wannabe Alpha Males

I seem to come across a lot of these men in my personal life. They want to be in control all the time, but they don't have the job or general life status to match up with their attitude.

It seems ironic really that I'm a dominatrix by profession, yet I seem to attract these bossy men who think they can call the shots whenever they like, do whatever they like without consequence.

Fine if they're an actual alpha male, I don't get on with them much anyway, but it really winds me up when they're just wannabes.

I'd love a boyfriend, but not someone who has attitude when they don't get their own way. After all, aren't relationships supposed to be all about compromise? A bit of give and take and not just take, take, take?

These type of men almost wind me up as much as the hot and cold blowers.

But that's another blog post ...

Tuesday, January 30th 2024

Phone Chat

I had a great phone chat session with someone the other week. We were on the phone for over an hour and had such a great chat. It was actually around 90 minutes.

I've never spent that much time on one call before, so this is just a reminder that I still do phone chat on a regular basis.

I still prioritise real life bookings over phone chat but I now make a conscious effort to put my green light on whenever I'm not busy with other things. I've even had phone chat sessions materialise into real life bookings, so that's another added bonus!

Wednesday, December 6th 2023

Mistress ... Cougar???

I've always gone for older men; I've never dated anyone younger.

That was until this year when I officially declared midlife crisis terrority and went out on several dates with several younger men. I actually went out on a date with a mere boy of twenty-two because of a shared music interest. But true to form none of these dates came to anything and that was before I declared my career to them.

Now I have my eye on someone I've met through a mutual hobby and he's the youngest of the lot at only twenty. He is very good looking, somewhat striking in fact and in my defense he does look older than twenty. Not that there's anything wrong with this as we're both adults.

I don't think he's interested in me, so nothing will happen. I'd only ruin him anyway!

Thursday, November 9th 2023

Technical Issues in the Digital Age

I don't know about you but I hate technical things. Accepting cash is much less common now and booking events is mostly done online.

I've had another technical problem to sort out this week as well and that's my old website (not this one) being taken down. My previous webmaster had my permission to do this, but at the time I didn't realise how many online directories it was also posted on. This started to become an issue when I couldn't get in touch with the people behind these online directories.

I did a Google search of myself and came up with a handful of results. There were some links to adverts that I haven't even put the details on myself, annoyingly they advertise the wrong phone number, too, so people can't get hold of me anyway. Unless they emailed me if my email address was showing which is not always the case on some sites. This also begs the question of how many people use these particular directories to get in contact. I still have had enquiries since my old website has been taken down, so it would be very handy to know where these recent enquiries have come from. Obviously, I do ask but a lot of the time people say they can't remember the exact details - just somewhere online!

I guess I should take comfort in the fact that my website is easy to find and people can search for it. The browser used can also be a factor and your search engine history results may play a part in what information is displayed. Some phone internet providers like EE can block adult content which is not at all helpful. But I don't think there's much I can do about that.

So, my future plans are to advertise in more online directories and see if that makes a difference to my volume of enquiries. I suspect that a lot of information these directories have is just wasted and no one sees it. And if you're paying to advertise then it's just another unnecessary blow.

Tuesday, October 3rd 2023

What's in a Name?

Over the last nearly eight years I have been working I have noticed something strange. Maybe I noticed it more in the early days as I used to ask the name of people who would book. And over time I began to notice a pattern.

Those that gave me certain names would usually be a delight to be around. Those that gave me unique names would usually be unique in someway themselves, often in a positive way. And those that gave me a particular popular name would be a nightmare for messing me around.

This particular name has certain shortened variations and one of these variations causes me no bother at all. I have seen many people who refer themselves with this abreviation and they've been lovely. But it's those people who give the full version of this name or another shortened version that are the problem. I am not going to state what this name is because I am sure that over the years since I stopped requesting names, I will have seen people with this name and they will have been lovely. And who knows whether this name is their real name or not.

Perhaps then it should come as no surprise this name has caused me nothing but trouble in my personal life as well. So I should be forgiven for avoiding it like the plague where I can.

Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule and one day I may fall in love with a man of this name and live happily ever after.

Doubt it of course.

Wednesday, August 9th 2023

Making the Most of Time

Anyone who knows me knows I like to complete tasks during the day. I have endless 'to do' lists and I would describe myself as goal orientated or a type A personality, (for those of you who are interested in psychology).

Just because my profession is what it is does not mean I have no ambition. Far from it. I think my profession has a lot to do with the fact that I am goal driven and ambitious and I have chosen a career where I can make a decent salary in a relatively short space of time.
I'm always willing to try new things and I think this job helps me do that. I have a lot of free time to pursue hobbies and meet new people and I can see friends as much as I like as well.

I still like to get up early though as I feel lying in bed wastes time that could be otherwise be put to good use. I'm more likely to feel depressed if I've had a lie in. However, sometimes my sleep is needed and on those occasions I can often complete more tasks than I would have done if I had risen at my usual time.

So, whatever you're up to today I hope it's a productive one!

Friday, July 14th 2023

Scratchcards

With the cost of living still going on, I know many people are feeling the squeeze.

I've never been one for scratchcards, but every time I go into my local shop I see people buying them like they're going out of fashion. Although I never hear of anyone winning anything big on them. My corner shop doesn't have the best selection, either. They just sell cards ranging from £1 to £3 pounds and not every card has life changing money on offer. But people still buy them regardless.

I don't do the lottery, either, as I think the odds are so heavily stacked against you that it's just not worth it. I think if I had to choose between the two, I'd go and buy the scratchcards as the odds seem more realistic.

But this week, I came across videos on You Tube just dedicated to scratchcards. And it was interesting to watch people buy a stack of them and actually win something. They didn't win every time obviously, but they won more than I thought they would and their winnings weren't just £2. Sometimes they were £50.

I'm still not convinced they're worth spending a fortune on, but the videos were an interesting watch none the less.

Tuesday, April 4th 2023

Diving In

Have you ever read a book that you liked so much that it's always stuck with you? That's what happened to me when I was twelve and even now twenty-six years later, I often recount details from the story.

I'm not sure why this book has stuck in my mind like it has done. Maybe it was my age, although at the time I did read countless other books. Not as many though as I did when I was a few years younger and adored Enid Blyton, Jacqueline Wilson and the like. Perhaps it was this particular book's storyline and the way it was written. Funny and intelligent. Or perhaps it was because sex was the topic. Now let me get this clear: there was no erotica or pornography in a book aimed at teenagers. This book had a proper storyline and it's protagonist was portrayed as a teenager with a strong will and a strong mind. Perhaps that's why I identified with it so much.

I read the book countless times over the years. The text became almost embedded within my young mind. But last night I did what I should have done years ago and searched for it on Amazon only to discover the author has written several more books in the series. At the time, I just thought the book was a stand alone story, so imagine my delight when I found the three other books I haven't read.

But maybe I'm thinking of this story now because it just so happens that the storyline is set around one of my favourite hobbies and where I met the guy whom I currently have feelings for. Now, twenty-six years later, I could be the girl in the book!