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Saturday, November 27th 2021

TAXI RIDE

I recently decided to take a trip to Devon to visit some family and to have some down time for myself.
During that trip i took one of those evenings to go and meet an old friend for some drinks and dinner and a catch up,we did get pretty tipsy so that being said we both decided we weren't going to get drunk as she had work the next day.
We finished up our drinks , said our goodbye's
and i flagged down a local taxi. I jumped in and being out in the sticks everyone is super talkative and friendly and boy do cab drivers like to talk!
we got chatting about anything and everything, as he was chatting away my mind wandered into a complete wet dream. I started to think about my fantasy i have of flirting with an old geeky shy cab driver and how i could convince him to let me touch between his legs as payment.
As i dived deeper and deeper into this scenario in my head i felt my voice get raspy and more flirtatious while we were chatting,the ache between my legs was almost too much,i couldn't help but flirt.
I love the thought of an unsuspecting man who is shy but willing to let me make him cum in his pants just by rubbing him....

Typing this has really made me wet so as i toddle off to play ill think about continuing this tomorow...

Wednesday, January 27th 2021

Master of parody Mel brooks (copied)

From his humbling beginnings in Brooklyn, Melvin Kaminsky certainly made a name for himself. The name he made? Mel Brooks. A name synonymous with hilarious gags, one-liners, and slap-stick comedy. A career spanning from the early 50s, as a writer for Caesar’s Hour, all the way up to a series arc on Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. If you’re a fan of Airplane!, Scary Movie, or any of the countless parodies that have made their way to the screen, you owe it all to Mr. Brooks. Hell, they even teach classes of him in film school. To put it simply, Brooks is a pioneer of the parody genre. A king of comedy, and as we know, “It’s good to be the king.”
Here’s an attempt to put on paper (or cyber paper) a ranking of his top five films. Please do not crucify me, as these are mostly interchangeable and nothing is set in stone. Why just think back to History of the World Part 1. Wasn’t Moses holding 15 Commandments before he dropped that third stone tablet?

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN-“Excuse me darling, what is it exactly that you do do?” Growing up in the 30s, Mel was probably accustomed to Universal’s large slate of horror films, and how couldn’t he spoof the genre? It was his destiny. And so became, Young Frankenstein. Just make sure to pronounce it, “Fronkensteen.” A movie that shows Mel’s real grasp as a director. Brooks take another risk shooting the comedy in black and white. There is a certain underlying confidence that even he doesn’t have to go too far for the jokes. Having a genius like Gene Wilder on set probably didn’t hurt. A must see for any Brooks fan. This is the original parody of scary movies and still holds as the best. You know, that Monster isn’t a bad guy after all.

Blazing Saddles – Mel teams up with the legendary comic Richard Pryor to create the edgiest work of his career. A spoof on the popular Western genre of the 70s, Blazing Saddles is vulgar and unforgiving. From cowboys sitting around the fireplace breaking wind, to redneck men watching as their black Sheriff drowns in a pool of quicksand. The MPAA would have a field day with this ground breaking comedy, cutting out more than half the film. Too bad our generation can’t have the same fun as the 70s once did. Come to think of it, how did he get away with this? A must see for any fan of comedy. Now, “Where the white women at?”

Tuesday, April 28th 2020

My kind of humour the man himself Mel brooks

Disclaimer: not all my words some have been copied.
But definitely my feeling and love for his work.

Without Mel Brooks, comedy simply wouldn't be the same. His works turned low-brow humor and vulgarity into sophisticated art. From the early years growing up in Brooklyn, Mel always had a knack for making people laugh.

After serving in the US army disarming landmines during World War II, he took on comedy full time, working in clubs and an occasional radio stint before becoming a writer on Your Show of Shows. Then, he created the slapstick spy comedy series Get Smart.

It wasn't long after that when he wrote and directed The Producers, a comedy about two men trying to get rich from creating the worst, most offensive Broadway musical ever made. It was a bold, daring, and risky form of comedy, but audiences embraced it and Brooks even won an academy award for Best Original Screenplay. The 1967 masterpiece marked the beginning of a long career that spawned some of the funniest films to grace screens such as Blazing Saddles, History of the World, Part 1, and Spaceballs.

Comedy is a weird beast, though, and not every joke is universal. When one parodies pop culture, understanding gets lost to time. This list will point out ten jokes from Mel Brooks films most modern viewers wouldn't understand. Some of these jokes are still funny without the context because of how downright absurd they are, and there is still plenty to laugh at in each movie even if some of the references go above people's heads. (Not mine)
I often quote his work and I get stared at with blank faces.

To be continued.....

Wednesday, April 17th 2019

Vacuum

Tell me... vacuum cleaner WANK!

Do you want to try it? Have you? Shall we?

I’ve recently found myself watching hoover masterbation porn, I think I like it.
I have seen women use a vacuum and men it’s a massive turn on!
Just typing this is turning me on, how does reading it make you feel?

Even those who’ve spoken online about ‘successfully’ masturbating with a vacuum hose say that it leaves your foreskin pucked and inflamed for a while afterwards.

If you have a penis, why not try a Tenga Vacuum Cup Masturbator instead? It mimics the sucking feeling, comes pre-lubed, and won’t lop your dick off.

Xxx Charlotte xxx

Monday, April 23rd 2018

How to manage your time

The secret to time management is simple: Jedi time tricks.

Imagine you were a Jedi master called Bob (your parents, whilst skilled in the ways of the force weren’t the best at choosing names). The love of your life – Princess Lucia – is trapped in a burning building as you hurry to save her.

You might think of Lucia as the embodiment of your dreams, your aspirations – she is your most important thing.

Unfortunately, before you can reach her an army of stormtroopers open fire. The incoming stream of lasers demand your attention – if you fail to dodge them, you’re dead. You might think of them as an urgent distraction from saving your princess.

We all know how a hero resolves this dilemma. If he takes his eye off the ultimate goal – his princess – then all his other efforts are for nought. He can engage an army of stormtroopers, cutting them down with graceful ease, but their numbers are limitless, and whilst momentarily satisfying they only distract him. Delayed too long, his princess will die.

And so it is with your life. You have things that are most important and things that are most urgent in permanent competition:

The secret to mastering your time is to systematically focus on importance and suppress urgency. Humans are pre-wired to focus on things which demand an immediate response, like alerts on their phones – and to postpone things which are most important, like going to the gym. You need to reverse that, which goes against your brain and most of human society.

Look at what you spend your day doing. Most of it, I’ll warrant, is not anything you chose – it’s what is being asked of you. Here’s how we fix that, young padawan:

Say no. Most of us follow an implicit social contract: when someone asks you to do something you almost always say yes. It may feel very noble, but don’t forget there’s a dying princess you need to save, and you just agreed to slow yourself down because you were asked nicely. You may need to sacrifice some social comfort to save a life (as a bonus, people tend to instinctively respect those who can say no).
Unplug the TV. I haven’t had a TV signal for 7 years, which has given me about 12,376 hours more than the average American who indulges in 34 hours a week. I do watch some shows – usually one hour a day whilst eating dinner – but only ones I’ve chosen and bought. You can do a lot with 12,000 hours, and still keep up with Mad Men.
Kill notifications. Modern technology has evolved to exploit our urgency addiction: email, Facebook, Twitter, Quora and more will fight to distract you constantly. Fortunately, this is easily fixed: turn off all your notifications. Choose to check these things when you have time to be distracted – say, during a lunch break – and work through them together, saving time.
Schedule your priorities. Humans are such funny critters. If you have a friend to meet, you’ll arrange to see them at a set time. But if you have something that matters to you more than anything – say writing a book, or going to the gym – you won’t schedule it. You’ll just ‘get round to it’. Treat your highest priorities like flights you have to catch: give them a set time in advance and say no to anything that would stop you making your flight.
First things first. What is the single most important (not urgent) thing you could possibly be doing? Do some of that today. Remember there’s a limitless number of distracting stormtroopers – don’t fool yourself by thinking “if I just do this thing first then I can”. Jedi don’t live by excuses.
Less volume, more time. There’s always millions of things you could be doing. The trick is to pick no more than 1 – 3 a day, and relentlessly pursue those. Your brain won’t like this limit. Other people won’t like this limit. Do it anyway. Focusing your all on one task at a time is infinitely more efficient than multi-tasking and gives you time to excel at your work.
Ignore. It’s rude, unprofessional and often utterly necessary. There are people you won’t find time to reply to. There are requests you will allow yourself to forget. You can be slow to do things like tidy up, pay bills or open mail. The world won’t fall apart. The payoff is you get done what matters.

One final lesson from the Jedi: they’re heroes.

Heroes inspire us for many reasons: they make tough decisions, they keep going and they get done what matters. But there’s another reason we love our heroes. Inside us all, we know we have the power to become one ourselves.

Tuesday, January 30th 2018

Secrets to being a sexual man

When you first meet a woman and you both don’t know each other that well yet, you may be wondering… what kind of girl is she? Does she want a casual relationship, or is she looking for something serious? Is she open minded about having sex the first night, or does she have moral judgments about that sort of thing?

The good news is – she doesn’t know any of these things about you either. So it is up to you to present yourself in the light that you want to be seen in… to set your very own relationship expectations... and to put the relationship in the context of your choice.

For example, I once had a friend who was looking for a wife. He met a girl on the internet, and when I saw the two of them together, she seemed to be exactly what one might want in a wife: conservative, loyal, “hard-to-get” and trustworthy.

The question is, however: did she just present herself that way because my friend had subcommunicated his expectations?

What if I had been the one to meet her on that dating site instead of him… and what if I had told her that I enjoy my single life?

What if I had implied that I was a sexual man - that I think casual sex is fun, healthy and perfectly okay?
You can bet MONEY that she would have presented herself in a very different light indeed… and that an entirely different relationship would have resulted from the first date.

So the question is… what kind of relationship do YOU want?

I’m guessing that you want sex to be a part of the relationship… and if that’s the case, read on. There are only nine things you can subtly clarify on a date, and if you do it right, she will likely be fine with a casual liaison.

In fact, even if you’re looking for a girlfriend or something more serious, it’s still a good idea to start that relationship very passionately.

Later, when you look back on the weeks when you first met, you want to be able to say that you were so crazy about each other that you couldn’t resist… and that your love story started off with a bang!

Also, once you’ve had sex with a girl, the questions of WHETHER and WHEN to sleep together is finally off the agenda, and you can just be normal around each other. Now you can get to know her without this question looming over your heads.

Tuesday, January 30th 2018

WHAT MAKES US WANT TO SLEEP WITH MEN???

What Makes a Woman Want to Sleep With a Man?

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The main thing that makes a woman want to sleep with a man is his ability to spark intense feelings of sexual attraction when she interacts with him in person.

For example: If a guy displays confidence, charisma and charm while he interacts with a woman, she will automatically have some sexual feelings for him.

If he then builds on her feelings of sexual attraction by making her laugh and making her feel girly in comparison to his masculinity (i.e. how he thinks, feels, talks, moves, behaves), she will then feel more than enough sexual attraction to want to sleep with him.Sexual attraction is what makes a woman want to have sex with a guy or then start a relationship with him.

If a woman doesn’t feel sexually attracted to a man, she might want to be his friend and experience friendly feelings for him (e.g. “He’s such a nice guy” or “He’s like a brother to me”), but she won’t much or any interest in ever sleeping with him.

If you want to make a woman want to sleep with you, don’t waste time trying to be her friend or hoping that she likes you as a person if you can just show her how nice, trustworthy and intelligent you are.

If you want her to experience a desire to sleep with you, the main thing that you must do is spark her feelings of sexual desire for you by the way you interact with her.

When she feels sexually attracted to you, she will then appreciate the fact that you’re also a good guy.

She will feel as though she’s hit the dating jackpot because she gets to be with a guy who is not only nice, but who who can also make her feel very attracted.

When you display the personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, making her feel feminine in contrast to your masculinity, making her laugh), a woman will feel herself drawn to you without you having to do anything to “make” her want to sleep with you.

Since you are making her feel sexual desire and that feeling is building up the more you interact with her, she will then want to release that tension with kissing and sex.