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Monday, July 31st 2023

For all the time waste of space I don't care lol

We were good, we were gold
Kinda dream that can't be sold
We were right 'til we weren't
Built a home and watched it burn
… Mm, I didn't wanna leave you
I didn't wanna lie
Started to cry, but then remembered I
… I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don't understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can
… Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
… Paint my nails cherry red
Match the roses that you left
No remorse, no regret
I forgive every word you said
… Ooh, I didn't wanna leave you, baby
I didn't wanna fight
Started to cry, but then remembered I
… I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours, yeah
Say things you don't understand
I can take myself dancing, yeah
I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can
… Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
Oh, I
… I didn't wanna leave you
I didn't wanna fight
Started to cry, but then remembered I
… I can buy myself flowers (oh)
Write my name in the sand (mm)
Talk to myself for hours (yeah)
Say things you don't understand (you never will)
I can take myself dancing, yeah
I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than
Yeah, I can love me better than you can
… Can love me better
I can love me better, baby (oh)
Can love me better
I can love me better (than you can), baby
Can love me better
I can love me better, baby
Can love me better
I

Wednesday, January 11th 2023

Spoon

The Spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organisation.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, "Steve's Place," and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, "Why the spoon?'

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately three spoons per table per hour.

"If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I then noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

"By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Sunday, November 6th 2022

Paddy

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in, and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Seamus said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over".

So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said, "Nope, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician thought that was rather strange, and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.

Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad; roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes."

"What? He had two arseholes?" asked the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes....'"

Sunday, November 6th 2022

Monk

An Irishman was driving down the road when his car broke down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the Irishman tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound, unlike anything he's ever heard before.

The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship come to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night; he tosses and turns, trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound is, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again. The monk replied, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk.”

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk." The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

The Irishman sets about his task. After years of searching, he returns as a grey-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks." In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I travelled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self-deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is apprehensive; his life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

Tuesday, October 25th 2022

Feeling blue

Hi you guys thanks for all the support blue right now. Well I'm out of action for a few months so feeling a little blue sad and lonely . I have had an operation so can't play yet but when I do I think I will explode lol lol . Even though I can't come out to play I still get a little lonely and feel unloved lol . So you guys can always help me to feel a little happy as I love present s which girl doesn't . Yep I'm cheeky as it comes that's me so guys I have lots of wishes on my list I will definitely return the favor also after losing lots of weight mean s I sadly can't wear my sexy underwear so it's all up for grabs you guys .. I'm always around for a chat as always friendly . So hopefully you guys can help me feeling blue hope to be back on my feet in no time stay safe guys see you soon x

Tuesday, October 25th 2022

Feeling blue

Tuesday, November 30th 2021

stupid people

I am fed up of stupid men on drugs thinking they own me or say that type if girl im no ones girl I do this as a hobby and if your lucky to meet me . im not interested in 5 mins meeting s if I think you sound good enough to meet then its on my terms not yours .. I don't do drugs or get involved with anyone who dose .. its not for me I love meeting new people but on my terms not yours im a human being too with real feelings so I would like respect and you will receive the same thankyou x

Sunday, September 20th 2020

50 shades of Meggies

50 shades of Grimsby & Meggies

It was a hot January day so I’d decided to get the bus down Meggies to sit outside the Wellow. As he approached, his pasty and feeble upper body exposed, inked with self inflicted biro tattoos, draped in Elizabeth Duke bling, his Rockport’s tucked into his socks and tracksuit, his smile told me it was benefit day and we’d be getting proper wasted and that..........our tracksuits would be hanging off his light bulb tonight.....theBlue Wicked and MCAT flowed.......

It was Dwayne's birthday. We normally eat from the chippy every night so I decided to prepare a special meal of Findus Crispy Pancakes smothered with a Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. I liked it this way as I could check me Facebook too and then update me mam when he came.....

Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. I think this would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant? At least it defo would be since leaving big school. I thought of this as he lay on top of me giving me one. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back, I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you.

As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my unblocked left nostril. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Old Spice. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon fingering me in the bogs in Cue World. He’d just swopped his Staffy for £30 quid, 10 E’s and a Burberry cap, he took me for 2 for 1 in the Parity and a Maccies on the way home, I knew it was love and my life would never be the same. I even thought one day he might get my name tattooed on his neck with his other birds.

My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me, he always took his 6 sovereigns and Mam & Dad rings off before beating me. He even told me we could go on Jeremy Kyle one day.

Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had fucked his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring he’d nicked from Iceland. I’d not seen him this mad since he fell off a BMX being pagged to score weed or the time he lost the rent down the arcades. Furious, he tore the power lead from his beloved Xbox 360 and thrashed me on my arse. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again again so he carried on. I thought my new Adidas 3 stripe tracky bottoms would rip into a million pieces, I hoped not as they were the last pair in Sports Soccer...... As I looked over my shoulders I saw him smiling, his ‘summer teeth’ prominent, suma black, suma brown, suma yellow and suma missing..... I'm proud, I’m his, It's love...He even had a semi on in his piss stained fake Calvin’s, this was rare as his wizz habit normally prevented this.......lovein meggies

Thursday, July 2nd 2020

frustrating

covid.. can you just bogg off lol . I am so sexualy frustrated think my chunky monkey has cobwebs lol .. I think its time she did a little workout to keep the cobwebs out lol . I have thought it kind of kinky to wear a mask and gloves why I rub oil all over your bodys after I make you take a shower then boot you up and ride you slowly . or taking me doggy. I'm sat here feeling so naughty and my toys are so worn out from lockdown .. oh I so miss my chunky monkey being licked .. maybe feeling a little damp today watching 365 or a bit of mr grey looks like another toy day in store for me on this wet lock down day for me lol well anyway that s my thoughts for today have a nice day see you soon maybe x

Friday, March 13th 2020

giggle

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store. As he got to the checkout he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Checkout 5.'
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the checkout, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the checkout for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5.'
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a
live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the checkout he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he
did. She reached over the counter, gave him a long, gentle squeeze then
picked up the intercom and said.................................
'Mop and bucket to checkout 5'

Monday, December 2nd 2019

mojo

well I think it's time I got my mojo back ..
I ask myself shall I just go get it back lol ..that's the big question .. well I think myself shall I be naughty or nice today and giggle .. I think the naughty side wants to play ha ha .. but then I think well I'm a good girl really .. so I have decided I'm going to leave it up to you guys to show me what I should be naughty or nice I guess it's the time of year to sit on santas knee and tell him want a good girl I can be lol so who's going to help me get this mojo back lol

Sunday, September 24th 2017

Feeling sunny

Well the sun is out so I guess I should get the legs out and get them nice and smooth lol . So I guess this means I'm horny!!!! Yes I'm honey bonnet horny horny horny horny need a licky lick coz I'm horny horny horny yes did I tell you the sun is out and im and I'm hoping horny all nice and smooth and needs some licky I love ice cream as to cool me down did u tell you im feeling horny horny horny yes did well bloody do something about it and help me out and I need to sort my honey out

Saturday, July 29th 2017

Time Waster a and fake profile s

Well its been one of them weeks grrr time wasters and fake profile s . Well your not really wasting my time as I do always have something to entertain myself lol I have a very good imagination there for if you think you waste my time you don't. I was a little upset someone booking me on aw and giving me a negative review as turns out he was fake but i had the last laff as he gave a false phone number and as it happens I rang this number . Well the guy on the phone had no idea what aw was but he ended coming to see me and went with a big smile on his face and i know he will cum again so the point is your just wasting your own time and your a bunch of losers and probably don't know what to do with it I'm up for giving lessons lol .

Tuesday, July 18th 2017

Hello sun

Well its day three in Bridlington I have white bits lol. Im laid in my bed looking at the view feeling very naughty remembering yesterday and the day before . Bridlington is a very naughty place to be and who would of thought it me coming from sunny cleethorpes . Well im still feeling wet over the nice cake I ate yesterday after having a very nice romp dashing in fact mmm.mm the thought still did not get to use my strapon dame but the thought is in my head then I had a very nice surprise after a few prosseco s with cherry of cause . Im thinking of moving to Bridlington the men here are such gentlemen with naughty smile s not to mention the pie I had made thankyou sir I was in heaven oh I have been spoilt well wondering what today will bring . Well a spot of naked sunbathing a little play and hopefully lots of sausage mmm before I leave tomorrow and make my way back to sunny cleethorpes . I have had a very nice time thankyou Bridlington I'm sure this is my new favourite place just with I had my rabbit right now as pussy is feeling very horny indeed x