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Sunday, December 10th 2023

a few thoughts.....

Once there was a story, a little allegory. Let me take you back two years ago. There was a ‘fuck that little mouse, I’m an albatroaz’. She hates Manchester. Now I don’t like you fucking with me but, if you want to fuck in my pond, know that you’re pond life. Don’t be a flying monkey on my numbers, cos I got your number and I know where you fucking live and you owe me a lot of money. I’m not the same girl that I was a year ago. I am hardier and nastier than any witch that you have come up against before and it is my mission to take you down. Keep playing your fucking games, whizzing around on my numbers, and you’ll find me on your doorstep serving you up pork, right down your fucking throat…

Am I making myself loud and clear? Pay your fucking debt and I will turn my fucking back. Until that time, it’s war. Happy fucking Friday.

Oh I forgot to mention to the love of my life and my best friend, my husband. The one who makes me the woman I am. The one who makes me a better woman. And if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with. That’s all that matters to me. But hey I am Hannah, also known as Allegra. Feel free to book me anytime, unless you’re the stalker who can burn in hell…ain’t that the truth?

OK. It’ been a few weeks but I have something to yell.

'Cause I could be at yours on Friday
Tonight's at the place we started
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
I don't know what to tell you, I don't know what to say
I got into my head, I'm sorry I threw it away
But I'm so glad you came back, even through all the pain
Let me try and mend it
I can promise, I swear that I've changed
Oh, let me give you all of me
Can we just sort it out for real?
'Cause I could be at yours on Friday
Tonight's at the place we started
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
Did you miss me?
I've been so messed up since you stopped calling
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
I had some time to process, I'll take all of the blame
I wasn't thinking, I won't put you through all that again
If you take me back, then I'ma take you through the facts
Just hold on tight 'cause I'm the type
To make it right and take you all the way
Oh, let me give you all of me
Can we just sort it out for real?
'Cause I could be at yours on Friday
Tonight's at the place we started
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
Did you miss me?
I've been so messed up since you stopped calling
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
How does it really feel, we've both waited so long
You're still in my head, it's all I'll ever want
Let's not waste no time, give you one more try
How does it feel? How does it feel?
'Cause I could be at yours on Friday
Tonight's at the place we started
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)
Did you miss me?
I've been so messed up since you stopped calling
It's a long way back from "sorry"
But here I go
How does it feel? How does it feel?
(Just tell me something)

2,555 times around the world. It's been a blast.

It could happen to you. So think for yourself. So catch my falll...

All my love, Allegra x

So, if you're my way. in sparkling Bradford, and you are, then know this...You are my desire.

I want you to hold me
Don't let me go
Be the one and only
Take all control

Stay with me forever
At least for the night
Even when you leave me
Lead me to the light

You are my desire, oh
And just the thought of you is keeping me awake
You take me higher, oh
Take me away

You are my desire, oh
And just the thought of you is keeping me awake
You take me higher, oh
Take me away

Take me away

Promise you won't wake me
Before you leave
Leave me in a daydream
Just you and me
Stay with me forever
At least for the night (the night)
Even when you leave me
Lead me to the light

You are my desire, oh
And just the thought of you is keeping me awake
You take me higher, oh
Take me away
You are my desire, oh
And just the thought of you is keeping me awake
You take me higher, oh
Take me away

Take me away

For I have nothng else to say, apart from it's the weeekend and Hannah loves the Weeknd and Ariana Grande (but that's tomorrow's story). I will be at the fair tonight. The travelling circus, as Hannah loves the fair and all the showmanship that goes with it.

All my love, Allegra. xxx

Maybe he's right
Maybe there is something the matter with me
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?

Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I've got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin'
Walking around on those, what do you call 'em?
Oh, feet

Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down a, what's that word again?
Street

Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free, wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land they understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women, sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand

And ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it, what's the word?
Burn?

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

It's been too long...Allegra like to tease and boy she's done that all day. Hannah...well she' a little bit more sentimental. Time flies by so quickly, just like a sparrow flies fast to be with its flock...Birds of a feather always flock together. Sometimes they spoon, sometimes they fork and mostly they laugh at Allegra. But Hannah is funnier and she thinks a lot of you all. Tonight she's been with her minx Babe Nevaeh and you'd be amazed what one of them can do with a Carlsberg can and it aint Hannah. If it's been your birthday today, then of course, Hannah wishes you a very happy bitrthday and she hopes that there are very many more birthdys to come...There will never be an ending, it is always 'to be continued'. But, right now, drop the mike, exit stage left, Elvis has left the building and yet Hannah continues to Smule.

As always, all my love, Allegra.

Everything I write on my AW page is created by myself...some truth, but mostly fiction...It is designed to be a story, full of fictional characters, to incite fantasy and escapism (after all, that is why you are here) I am a frustrated creative writer and my musing will one day become a book. If you are offended by my content, then my AW page is not for you. You are free to move to another AW page at any time. You have found me and you visit my page of you own free will. I did not seek you out.

If you choose to send me messages, I will ring you and if you are not prepared to take a call from me then please don’t message. My stalker sends me messages daily and hides behind fabricated names and photos. I am not going to be intimidated by this sick individual and therefore understand that if you message me I will be calling you back. Please don’t send me dick shots or videos of you wanking. I am a courtesan and a content creator and, now that you understand my boundaries, I look forward to having a genuine conversation with you.

Please be mindful in your emails and correspondence to me, as I will not tolerate abuse or trolling. Life is short so smile while you can.

Hannah is a creative writer and that makes her silent twin Allegra intrinsically fascinating with a story that is quirky and preoccupied with surface texture and colour. It helps you readers to truly understand this protagonist. There is no collaboration between the screenwriter and director, just a story full of black humour that is playful and self-reflexive. I guess if you are viewing this as a voyeuristic exercise it won’t make you understand what makes me tick but just relax into an imaginative world of fairy tales, pop music and tawdry romantic cliques. It is a tricky task but you can’t square the circle. Saturated palette fantasies versus grey reality. That underscores how different we all are. we all shine bright...brittle, brilliant and mercurial. this is very much a public memoir.

Sunday, June 4th 2023

Back in the Game

Allegra's in London for one week only!

So, generally speaking, when Hannah is allowed to speak, life serves as a symbol of life, happiness, prosperity and in that much wider sense, of a perfect Hannah being. Hannah’s symbol of life goes as a symbol of immortality (Beegees)…darkness, on the other hand, is death, chaos and the underworld

Do light and dark coexist? Well, we all know this is not theoretically possible. There is no place where there is absolutely no light at the maximum level of dark…but artists always use colour and value to create different moods. Dark colours convey a sense of mystery. Light colours a sense of composition. It is simply an ancient symbol of understanding and intellectual thought. Light will always conquer darkness and bring order out of chaos. This is called dualism and if you are into spirituality, then you will know Hannah’s doctrine…no room for gloom. That fiat looks do not exist here. If you want to call it a paradox, then be my guest to work out the four types. I will leave you on that note, for I am forever yours

Allegra.

Dear readers,

This is my ode to you you you. To love somebody. To love somebody. The way I love you.

I’ve got to get a message to you. Oh darling, oh darling.

Hold on. Hold on. One more hour my life will be through (never). Hold on. Hold on.

Because…to love somebody, to love somebody. The way I love you.

And whilst most of this will mean nothing to anyone but you and me, that’s precisely my point.

As Hannah loves her meaningful conversations.

The rest means nothing.

The above means everything.

IOM.as always, all my love Hannah.

immortality. I make my journey through eternity. I keep the memory of you and me inside.

we don't say 'goodbye'

Hannah never says goodbye. It's...

jus qu'a plus tard

Late to the party of ‘Happy Valley’ am I. Who would ever have guessed that half the cast has been borrowed from ‘Downton’? Yet another find that is set in beautiful Yorkshire. The irony is not lost on me. #beautifulbradford

Ideas I have for my life that I believe have merit:

Never stop exploring – thoughts, people, places, abilities, your strength and nature

Follow a life of adventure and exhilaration, or be idle, gentle and thoughtful. Lie on the floor of a forest or a beach and look at the sky

Write a small perfect entry into your AW diary every day

Embrace the people you love. Ignore the people you don’t

Be curious. Keep learning. Keep asking many questions

Listen.. Really listen, when other people talk

Find humour in everything and everywhere

Collect things that make you laugh and amass a huge collection of books

Whatever you do, make art of one sort or another. Stick with it, try again and never give up

Focus, focus, focus on everything that you do

Never look with green eyes at other people’s eyes

Remember, lots of little things add up to a life that might make life a little more wonderful

Grab the life you have and quickly forget the life you wanted

Roll with the punches. They’ll keep coming, as will change

Remember…

You are the architect of your own life and look for joy everywhere

Love Hannah. I’ve just been freshly fucked and life, as you may say #is sweet

#savauge

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit – join our club

Sayyyyyyyyyy………What!!!

My God, I’ve neglected my page since November. Now, dear readers, this was not deliberate, just a sheer oversight due to the fact that I accompanied my suitcase and passport to many destinations, right up until last Friday. Should I disclose where I’ve been? Why not, because I know that you love to know all about what I get up to. So let me divulge my secret.

Spain
Spain
Spain
Spain
Spain

Est Viva Espana. Yes, I went with my lovely best friend, Naughty Nevaeh. We shagged ourselves silly, because we were on tour. We got brilliant suntans and, yes thank you very much, there’s plenty of native angels. But, hey, what a welcome home we’ve had. Cos the erotic encounters didn’t just stay in Spain. There’s been a queue outside my complex since the moment we landed and yes, it’s sooooper nice to rekindle old friendships and last night’s suitor is a brand new friend and he was wow electrifying, dynamite, handsome and mind bogglingly intelligent. I do so love a man who stimulates me intellectually. But, no one stimulates me intellectually more than my husband. So, grazia mon mari you have made my year already with just one fatal kiss and, your long lingering look and your smooth whispers in my ear.

So, that’s covered trick or treat, bonfire night, my birthday, Christmas and New Year plus ‘Dry January’. Now we’re in the month of love and that means I’m with Billy Idol.

Hey, I am looking forward to Friday.

XXX All my love. Hannah.

PS to avoid early morning phonecalls, pay your fucking bills on time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are in that bit ‘post Halloween’ and ‘pre Christmas’ where nobody seems to know what to do. So, be young, be foolish, be happy. Guys, don’t bother me, cos I’m not some kind of fool or some silly girl. Everything is alright because I laugh it off. Please don’t untie me now as there’ too much foolin around to do.

There ain’t nothing like shagging.

I am not disillusioned enough for making true love, as long as you’re close to me in this precious moment. I might as well forget him (I most definitely have) as he’s riding for a fall. When you love somebody, it’s better to have loved a little and stay under the shelter with my greatest love. Do I worry? Nah, just go away little boy (and I mean ‘little’ wink wink). Cos my baby sure can shag with damned dirty love. There’s always a standin and he’s always grooving. I ain’t sori, sori, sori cos I’m H(anna)h cos we be on the beach and I am certainly inducted into the Atlanta Hall of Fame. The moral of this story? I like music. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s all fantasy bullshit anyway, cos this is just a story.

All my love Allegra x

Did you have a banging weekend? Hannah did and Allegra wants to tell you Batman’s secret code.

91939

340 words did Bruce Wayne speak in ‘Batman’. This amounts to roughly 70 lines of dialogue or two words per minute over the film’s 176 minute runtime. To open Allegra’s Zip to her attire you need to enter the password.

That’s Hannah’s ‘Promise’ to you. Hush now, there’s truth about Gotham. Allegra is a Batgirl, she has her very own Batcave, where the night is darkest just before dawn and what doesn’t kill you simply makes you

STRANGER

Riddle me this. All my love Hannah.

Happy fireworks night. So what a good few days we have had and it’s time for:

Splish splash, I was taking a bath
Long about a Saturday night, yeah
A rub dub, just relaxing in the tub
Thinking everything was alright

Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor
I wrapped the towel around me
And I opened the door, and then a
Splish, splash, I jumped back in the bath
Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?

Splish splash, I was taking a bath
Long about a Saturday night, yeah
A rub dub, just relaxing in the tub
Thinking everything was alright

Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor
I wrapped the towel around me
And I opened the door, and then a
Splish, splash, I jumped back in the bath
Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?

I was a rolling and a-strolling
Reeling with the feeling
Moving and a-grooving
Splishing and a-splashing, yeah

Yes, I was a-splishing and a-splashing
I was a-rolling and a-strolling
Yeah, I was a-moving and a-grooving
We was a-reeling with the feeling
We was a-rolling and a-strolling
Moving with the grooving
Splish splash, yeah

Why not pop into my private gallery to see me splish splash in in bath before the party tonight. So have a banging night. My day has already gone off with a ‘Pop’. Lots and lots of love. Allegra x

P.S. don’t forget to check out my new duo profile with my friend Babe Nevaeh – it’s live!!

Lawdy Miss Clawdy…I don’t need a *** I just need someone…no guesses where Hannah has been cruising around these past few weeks. There’s been five whole fabulous Billy Idol concerts in the UK, all of which this girl attended and this culminated in Billy’s finale in our very own Leeeddddssss.

What a fabulous couple of weeks I have had, backstage passes, VIP meet & greets. Think I got my ‘Billy Fix’ until next year. In Leeds I had a nice little stay at the Surrealist Suite dans Mal Maison. It was banging yellow, or should I just say banging? Who cares what colour it is when you are having fun? I am super glad to report that my faithful friends and followers already know this but, for any of you newbies out there who have alighted on my page, good to see that you actually read it and abide by my requests and for the few sad losers who can’t read or abide by bail conditions, the exit doors are here, here, here and here, so leave now because you are not welcome on my page and perving at it (which I know you do) just strengthens my case.

Now read on if you want to see what has titillated Halloween Hannah. Well, quite a lot, cos clearly I have been too busy to update my page and camara web is most certainly the way forward. C2C is so much fun and kerchings me all the way into the festive Christmas run up. I have even been so busy that I haven’t had time for a café, but that never bothers my Master, cos he’s got me on speed dial and that be better than café any day.

It's nice to have friends isn’t it?...I’ve got me a few. My number one best friend? Ah, that’s my husband and then we’ve got me Todmorden, my beautiful girl heaven (spell that backwards) and Billy & Steve and my new pet, which I haven’t found the inspiration for a name yet but you can rest assured it won’t be named after a curry. (yikes I forgot Angel…oh well he knows what I think anyway )

It will be pure pork, cos I like bacon sarnies and ham baguettes. I once got told by a solicitor that he was Jewish…remember this, solicitors lie and boy this one is the biggest liar I have yet to meet but there you go, that’s the legal profession for you. All of them bent, commonly known in the trade as ‘benders’ (now don’t start complaining that I am being non PC – get a grip like I want to get a hold of yours) remember that this is just a story and that is what folk lore is based upon. In between dashing around to all of those Billy concerts, myself and Babe Heaven have created a ‘best friends’ profile. It has just been verified, so knock yourself out finding us. Cos we is ‘hot to trot’.

Such a shame that ‘Catch’ has gone out of business. I enjoyed going back there with my husband…go back to the places that made you cry and, instead, laugh because it wasn’t L’oreal and I can assure you that you definitely aren’t worth it. Seems like there’s a run of businesses going bust. I’m guessing that the pizza industry isn’t what it used to be. Oh well, no great loss. They got shit reviews anyway on Tripadvisor.

It's no secret that I love me a vampire film and, because I am a romantic, I had never given much thought to how I would die, although I had reason enough in the last few months but, even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. That was the first night that I dreamed of Edward Cullen. Seems I am not a magnet for accidents. That’s a broad enough classification. I am not a magnet for trouble, but you, if there is anything dangerous within a ten mile radius it will eventually find you. Here are some vampire myths:

1. They only cum at night
2. They burn in the sun
3. They sleep in coffins

Errrrr, well I don’t do any of those but, if you cross me, this vamp will certainly be after your blood. ‘It’s Twilight’, Edward murmured.

There you have it. Last night I was a vamp, a witch and a ghost and, if you want to see me as the ghost, well I will be shortly uploading the ghostly outfit that I was wearing last night in my private gallery.

God, you know I meet some really boring people, with zero personality at times. You meet dumb people, predictable people, nob-heads and just plain rude. Very rarely do you meet someone so special that they make the world shine bright, even at your darkest hour so, tonight, I would like to thank my wonderful husband, whose unwavering devotion to supporting my creative writing is beyond measure. That’s one more lap around the world we have just completed. A whole six years. Six of the best together and we have faced the most hideous tribulations which fought to keep us apart. We’ve had many losses but, in return, we have each other. You will always be my Edward – love Bella. Para Siempre…I have loved you for a thousand years. The End. Credits roll. Take a bow Miss Allegra. Exit stage left (that’s the door to the bedroom folks wink wink).

All my love Hannah. XXX

Tuesday, November 1st 2022

Fall

Wow. Miss Amy Mermaid wishes to thank you all for a lovely welcome back. It’s simply been the most Halloween Hell and Hannah loves Halloween. Happy Halloween, as it’s been my absolute pleasure. The rise is oh so much sweeter after the fall and seeing as we’re in Autumn, also known as the American ‘Fall’, rest assured my beautiful readers, this new chapter is just out of this Todmorden UFO mystery. Who knew what secrets Todmorden holds. The most interesting documentary I have yet to learn about Yorkshire. Beautiful, sparkling Bradford…I love you.

I was asked the question today ‘Which witch is which?’ well, let’s just say yeah Hazel will do. That’s as good a name as any other and the root of Hazel is non-invasive and associates well with other woodlanders, such as epimedium helibore and snowdrop and once they are in leaf, their foliage is soft, cool on the eye and light enough to dapple shadow, just like Hannah. They can live for 80 years and if coppiside, for several hundred. Lucky, lucky Hannah. Looks like she got her vampire wish after all. Forever 21. Returning to the mighty DX7, you’re right, I forgot about Jupiter 8 and MiniMoog. But the DX7 is still my favourite because, as you will recall, Hannah is Mrs Cruise to be and Berlin’s ‘Take My Breath Away’ is one of the mighty DX7’s greatest hits. Are you a muse? Or amused? Or just a muso? Well, Hannah is all three and three is a very lucky number. You know, most of the day it’s just office bollocks. Trying to understand the strange dialect of management speak. Yes, I’ve got a manager with KPI’s and targets to meet, just like everyone else. But I am going to give you some handy translations of what management speak really means.

1. ‘that is indeed very interesting’ = there’s no chance that’s going to happen
2. ‘we have a real live opportunity here’ = you have a serious problem on your hands
3. ‘don’t think I don’t appreciate your contribution to this matter’ = your work on this has been no use whatsoever
4. ‘this situation requires some blue sky thinking’ = let’s waste time making stuff up that’s never going to happen
5. ‘as employees, we want you to establish a healthy work life balance’ = employees. We want you to work harder
6. ‘we need to expand our brand awareness’ (this is Hannah’s favourite) = basically, we need to convince more people of our lies and nonsense
7. ‘we cannot measure success by profit alone’ = we are going broke
8. ‘we are all going on a team building exercise’ = we will beat the attitude out of you one way of another
9. ‘we anticipate a shortfall’ = start looking for a new job
10. ‘it has been brought to our attention that…’ = someone has grassed you up

So there’s one thing for it. Let’s throw an office party to celebrate. Everyone is going to be made redundant. So photocopy your bum, send your boss arsy emails from other people’s computers, tell everyone the lies you came up with at your interview, then let your colleagues tell their lies and then pretend you were only joking. Start a conga and sing ‘I will Survive’. Moon at the management from the street through the office window (after all, they have kept their jobs) and finally show what a fantastic dancer you are by pretending to be one of the Village People ‘Y M C A’.

Hannah is not really being made redundant. And nor is Allegra. This is a time for growth, but she certainly is throwing the perfect sickie and she demands the right to speak backwards.

(sdrawkcab kaeps ot thgir eht dnamed).

Miss Amy Mermaid is home. All my love Hannah and thanks for today’s inspiration Sir David. Truly inspiring.

Now you’re probably getting the drift of the stories … random but inspired by true life events……

There is always some truth in the story …. Just not always Hannahs truth…. But youll know it when you read it that you have been the muse today.

On Monday there was a technical hitch with Hannah, when she had to invent the art of lying. She garners love, fame and success with this new found power but really she is just a script writer who has the ability to bend the truth to spinning tall tales to get out of trouble and into men’s pants LOL.

You could say it was a porkie pie and Hannah adores pork. The invention of lying is actually a comedy set in a world where no one has ever lied, until Ricky Gervais found the theory of mind. Do you know the first lie recorded was in the Bible. The Devil who lied by adding to the word of God. Lying is a learned behaviour, rather than an innate behaviour and the father of all lies, as we all know, is the Devil. I only know one of those and my stories that I write have many truths, just not all of them my truths.

…………anway, enough of philosophy, my Halloween musings continue. I am watching ‘Halloween Kills’ and Deadfest will take over the underground in Bradford. The Devil’s playground sounds like a perfect Halloween mosh to me. I think I might go……….. But then again, I have spells to create.

My coven and my hot tub. Maybe I need to learn to spell. That might actually help my spells. But, then again, I have never had any problems before, so why change something that works perfectly…? How amusing. The local police came today to visit, just to check up on me. Instead, they helped themselves to Halloween candy and left the most amusing calling card I have ever seen.. it is probably the best snigger that I have had since last week, when I resembled Elphaba (note to self. Don’t let fake tan go off, unless you require it for a fancy dress party as the main character in ‘Wicked’).

So, a witch rarely sleeps and at 3am I was painting, decluttering, preparing potions. Nothing unusual there for Allegra. Her sleep is always shocking. Cinnamon and honey, mint and eucalyptus couldn’t slow her down. But sometimes that’s good, cos she’s still watching…remember that.

Tomorrow brings new challenges. Could it be a Covid booster jab..? Nah. Her fabulous, fantastic Miss Amy Mermaid returns from her travels and Allegra cannot wait to see her and I am sure my fellow friends, you will be just as delighted if you wish to come and see Miss Amy Mermaid, cos she is one hell of a ride. All my love Hannah.xx ( is there an I and a E in that or just I )…… answer is….. she is all of that and some x but only special people really know………………

All my love Alllllleeeeeaaaaaggggrrrraaaaaaaaaaa xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday. A day of self care. It sounds so nice doesn’t it? ‘Self care Sunday’…it’s just so beautiful here and I remember you were like crunchy before that was a thing. Well Halloween might not scare you just yet but it will. It’s coming closer. All Hallow’s night. If you had been nicer, you and I could have been friends, because the people round here take care of each other. Now we will be watching you for different reasons. This is not science fiction. This is science fact. Welcome to the product of your greed.

I know you send these letters and now I am watching you. What the DNA didn’t contain was a ‘Y’ chromosome, so that obviously means your watcher is female. Windows are the eyes of the house and this is what it looks like to finally arrive. She wanted you to know the end of the story, so she wrote herself into it (remember that this is just a story) and I am not sorry that I am living my best life, but that is not my fault, it’s yours. I am really happy and I fully recommend Netflix ‘The Watcher’. Seven episodes back-to-back. A perfect way to spend Sunday, not forgetting that Hannah is always right, cos ‘The Ring’ is definitely an American film from 2002…’No, no, no’ her husband responded, ‘it’s actually a Japanese film from 1998’. Hannah sniggered, rolled her eyes and proclaimed loudly, ‘Nah babe, you’re thinking of the Grinch.’…within seconds, Hannah stopped smirking ‘Ah fuck, it’s another Americano moment’. Hubby was right after all. Oh well, you learn something new every day and the moral of the story? (I am now you’re watcher)…beware.

Gotta love Ryan Murphy. ‘American Horror Story’ will always be Hannah’s Hotel Cortez. Happy Halloween. Love Hannah.

If you think about Pandora’s box, then you’re right. Hannah was kept in a Pandora’s box for quite a while, through the actions of one individual. But all boxes are eventually opened and Hannah’s box is no longer confining her. If you think bout timeless dystopia and Hannah was really called Winston Smith, a seemingly obedient citizen of Airstrip One. Well Hannah’s Winston well doesn’t dream secretly of truth and freedom and her rebellion to reclaim her identity will come at someone’s terrible cost but look, we’re not in 1984, we’re in 2022 and whilst this hasn’t been the easiest year, Hannah still believes in concepts of justice, liberty and objective truth. They are not illusions and Hannah’s liberty means she has the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. Hannah’s imagination, like certain wild animals, will not breed in captivity. She controls her past, she controls her present and she controls her future. ‘Freedom’ is the freedom to say two plus two equals four’ and, because that is granted, all else follows. Oceania doesn’t exist. Winston and Julia are nothing but characters. We are not in dystopian times. There is always hope. And the final line, everything is alright. The struggle is finished. Truthspeak.

So, Hannah finds her very best friend returning from her travels next week. Lucky, lucky boys. I don’t need to name her. You already know her. Two witches are better than one. That makes a coven and Hannah’s coven is tight, with an avid following and many genuine friends, whom she has enjoyed interacting with, since her story began. Tis the season of Halloween. Hannah’s favourite. Spells, pumpkins, and, well, I will leave the rest to your imagination…but let’s just say, all is positive and thank you to the kind folk that have kept in touch during this period of down time. It has been much appreciated and you will be rewarded.

Everything I write on my AW page is created by myself...some truth, but mostly fiction...It is designed to be a story, full of fictional characters, to incite fantasy and escapism (after all, that is why you are here) I am a frustrated creative writer and my musing will one day become a book. If you are offended by my content, then my AW page is not for you. You are free to move to another AW page at any time. You have found me and you visit my page of you own free will. I did not seek you out.

If you choose to send me messages, I will ring you and if you are not prepared to take a call from me then please don’t message. My stalker sends me messages daily and hides behind fabricated names and photos. I am not going to be intimidated by this sick individual and therefore understand that if you message me I will be calling you back. Please don’t send me dick shots or videos of you wanking. I am a courtesan and a content creator and, now that you understand my boundaries, I look forward to having a genuine conversation with you.

Please be mindful in your emails and correspondence to me, as I will not tolerate abuse or trolling. Life is short so smile while you can.

Please email me.

Hannah is a creative writer and that makes her silent twin Allegra intrinsically fascinating with a story that is quirky and preoccupied with surface texture and colour. It helps you readers to truly understand this protagonist. There is no collaboration between the screenwriter and director, just a story full of black humour that is playful and self-reflexive. I guess if you are viewing this as a voyeuristic exercise it won’t make you understand what makes me tick but just relax into an imaginative world of fairy tales, pop music and tawdry romantic cliques. It is a tricky task but you can’t square the circle. Saturated palette fantasies versus grey reality. That underscores how different we all are. we all shine bright...brittle, brilliant and mercurial. this is very much a public memoir.

Love Hannah.

Hannah’s musing this evening of art and science, design and engineering and that equals architecture…you must have enthusiasm for science and the arts to create this mathematical proficiency. This is an accreditation from the board of the NNAB. 5 years of being an undergraduate. A process of planning, designing and constructing and in the end it will all be perceived as a cultural symbol or a work of art. Well, Hannah is a work of art and of design and definitely of weird science and, if you like Kelly LeBrock, then you’ll definitely love Hannah. Ha ha she loves a bit of ‘Woman in Red’, with Gene Wilder and, in fact, she adores Kelly LeBrock’s posh London accent. Hannah loves a lot of things. Books, science, art, and cocktail bars. She has a deep affection for them all and whilst some things in life shoot their poison arrow (ABC) Hannah is a mere but half way through her life and has a whole 50 years ahead of her. The past is gone. The future is unknown but right now, this moment, she is one happy lady, sipping a sancere an Appalachian of the Loire Valley. Aux pres orleans…translated this means lies on the left bank of the Loire, opposite the poulle-fume. So, if you’re here with me in Bradford, I’m sipping a white wine on my balcony. It’s light to medium, dominated with flavours of citrus, flint, sea salt, honeysuckle and freshly cut herbs and that is your prestigious Appalachian. Bonne nuit, with vibrant acidity. Amour Hannah.

A witch’s tale is a chronicle of relationships with employers, old men and a house that seems harmless. It’s a prolific production, but it will always fit neatly into a portrait gallery. It is derivative and unpolished. Short stories, collections, poetry volumes, plays and essays, Hannah has done them all. This is nothing new to her witch’s brew. It is just a potion created for magical use and a harmless mixture used for the greater good. Shredded lime, pineapple juice, Sprite, eye of newt, tongue of dog and the scale of a dragon if you are into Macbeth. Hannah is not really a witch. She is an ordinary person who adores Shakespeare and loves words such as chit and itch. She plays with words because that is her forte. She enjoys semantics. Her passion for the arts is unrivalled. Singing, dancing, theatre…she should have had an Equity card, but that wasn’t her life. But she so enjoys creativity. It’s the use of imagination to create original ideas and Courtesan Allegra is inventiveness. It’ the tendency to generate or recognise her ideas or alternatives that are useful to solve problems. Another way to communicate with like minded others. You can call this combinational, exploratory or transformational, but this allows us to view unsolved problems openly with innovation. So focus people, tools and time. It will improve your mood, self esteem, cognitive function, social life and above all alleviate stress and anxiety. This will free your mind up to thinking new exciting ways and really that is all Hannah ever wanted to achieve. A phenomenon that is new and valuable.

If we are in Medieval England, then I am Allegra, one of the cunning folk, who practises folk magic. You can call this no magic or ceremonial magic, which is learned through the study of grim oires. Spells and charms, witchcraft and fortune telling. We are not concerned with the mysteries of the universe and with the empowerment of Magnus. It is just a practical remedy for a specific problem. We are Christian and we are not in league with the Devil, so this is not a witch hunt. Make sure you distinguish between the two. Cunning folk are useful and that is all you need to know. The rest is made of dolls and rags and other materials. There is no crystal ball, just law and that is all we can abide by and that is all that Hannah will ever abide by.

Miss Millington says ‘Movies are great education and great tension relievers. Something to enjoy. Something to savour. Something to cling to. Something to be indulged in whenever possible. That old slogan make love not war is a very good one.’ She is a pioneer with a seemingly self assured attitude and just like Allegra’s, her theme is happiness and that is where Hannah resides tonight. Happy, content in the house of Cortez. For. Although she has many hotels, she only has one home and that is wherever she lays her hat. A bit like Paul Young in the 80s. but that’s tomorrow’s story. Enough’ s as good as a feast.

Time is your greatest enemy and also your greatest adversity. That is why you are still here…first thing we are in Miramar, create your team and behold that’s the team that will cover your back and your front and will also be your wingman. If tonight I am Maverick, you will also know that I have a goose. I will break protocol but nevertheless I will emerge as the heroine. My tale begins with a black screen. The tick tick beat of a drum machine taps out the anticipation. You will hear the first chime of a tubular bell (deffo played on a Yamaha DX7 synthesiser) and sounds suspiciously like it was pulled from the hit ‘Do they Know it’s Christmas’ by Band Aid and this expands into the melody and iconic anthem, strummed by the famous Steve Stevens (surely you remember him, He’s Billy Idol’s guitarist). Well, me and my coven are now grinning like a bunch of ten year olds at the cheesiest sans serif font. March 3rd 1969. The US Navy established an elite school for the top 1% of its pilots. Its sole purpose was to teach the lost art of ariel combat and to ensure that a handful of men who graduated were the best fighter pilots in the world.

The music builds, along with our excitement. Today the Navy calls it ‘Fighter Weapons School’. The flighers call it (oh, the suspense and another dramatic ‘dong’ on the tubular bell and…)

TOP G*N

So, let’s start running Goose. Cos, it’s been a minute huh Maverick. Just be cool. Wave and smile. We are on the same team. It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot. So don’t think, just do.
This is my request to flyby and I’m good Rooster. I am very good and I will see you back on deck. Thank you for saving my life and promise you’ll just hold my hand.

That’s Hannahs evening……and finally she’s seen the sequal….she loved it cos if she wasn’t a witch shed be a scientologist and married to Mr Cruise xx theres still time……. As time she has plenty of.

Which witch is which? Well this one was in Mythalmroyd, practising her bridgecraft. An interesting place to visit. Full of enchantment, ensorcement and diabolry. I am a practitioner of good purposes. There is no iniquitous here. Everything is cabalistic, shamanistic and extramundane. So tonight, as adversperascit and the colour of the sky is abendrot. All Hannah can see is aoibhneas and she is surrounded with atarasia. Tomorrow who knows but it’s bound to be dormiveglia.

Hunger, cold, remorselessness and that’s when reformation happens. You must always prioritise, especially if you love the Tempest and Midsommer Night’s Dream. Where are those nymphs with their amulets? This is where we find Angena. Blonde with a gold staff and green stockings. A witch is an independent woman who rejects the idea that age is a terrible thing. You must always beware of Athame. There is always auto da fe. I dedicate myself and have done already studded within this coven for a year and a day. Call me Bifana. She is a good witch. With a bell, book and candle and also a besom. She is always at the borderline and wasn’t that a magical song from Madonna? And bodkin and boschtto. Does she know her brugo? Come on, this is Hannah. We have both read Aradia. That book on pagan beliefs. Ambrosial fabric, sheer and bright. That is cimaruta and voodoo hoodoo promotes cloves. Hannah has got counter magic, as she is always in her Hotel Cortez and she is never afraid of cunning folk. She is in her period of dedicant and always draws down on the moon. She is eclectic and certainly has an espat. It is her famtrad. It is infamy. No lavender here, but there is definitely leechcraft. It is no longer England 1709. 1893 really isn’t that long ago – just a couple of hundred years. Did you enjoy reading ‘Macbeth’ at school, or watching it at Stratford upon Avon? I did but never understood a word and went to McDonalds instead and there I learnt a matrifocal. There are mists of Avalon and I cast my pishogue. Puffballs, sabbat and Salem. That is where Hannah resides tonight. In skyclad and shoes. Trolls (yeah, I’ve got plenty of them), goblins and witches. St Walpurga has already passed. It is all white magic within a witching hour and tonight Hannah is Zunritha. Wow, amazing. Enjoy your Friday night. This is the start of your weekend.

A toasted cheese sandwich, a glass of Cava and a ‘Bridgerton’ box set…do I have a Tabby yet? Yes, she’s right here curled up at my feet. But then I’ve got Floakie from next door too. Who do I choose? Neither, as they will just choose who they wish…we all wish for things. No extra wishes. No time travel. No falling in love. Is it your birthday? Alright then. ‘Happy Birthday’. I know it’s someone special’s birthday tomorrow. I don’t always say ‘Happy Birthday’ but, when I do, it’s only to legends. Fabulocity has no age and when life gives you birthdays, you must eat cake. You are a little spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down so happy birthday you sexy beast. We’ve already spent it together and it was fabulous. What happens in the future. That’s up to the gods to decide. Champagne. Prosecco, water. I care for none of these. It’s the sweet, sweet memory that are made of this.

Thursday, May 26th 2022

I am back

Nothing can dim the light which shines from within. You ae in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. You are loved for being just who you are and just for existing. And courage always starts, as Cinderella says, with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. So open your heart and drink in this glorious day…Am I good enough? Well, yes I am. I am this perfect moment. Your perspective is unique and that’s important and that what counts as every day on earth is a good day. Do the things you think you cannot do and the secret of attraction is to love yourself. I am better than I used to be and better than I was yesterday but, hopefully not as good as I will be tomorrow. Never lose infinite hope. Your life is already a miracle and it is waiting for you to shape its destiny. Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m possible’.

Beneficia dare qui nes cit, injuste petit. To be a Medieval poet in my world is definitely Ovid unseen. Can I speak Latin? Yup, I sure can. My thesis is the fulfilment of the requirement of the Master of Arts. My glass slipper fits and so do the other 60 pairs of shoes which I have unearthed tonight. Quite a haul, even by Hannah’s standards. I am fond of Ovid and his musings and his cheeky translations. Maybe it is really all about the hour of noon and the pastourelle. But this is a brutum fulmen so cest soire it’s carpe noctum. Satirical writing which affects social change…the best way to change the rules is by pointing out how absurd they are…cui bono. Well me of course ex nihilo nihil fit and that is Hannah’s felix culpa and here she will stay most excellently, because obscurum per obscurius and that concludes my latin revision for the evening. It is a language that I love but not used often. But, when you’re in Hannah’s world, it is used every day and that is just the way she likes it and that’s just the way it will stay.

Did Allegra go to the Ball? Why of course she did, just like Cinderella. It was Bippedy-bobbidy-boo. Even the clock, the killjoy, can’t spoil Hannah’s best dreams. By Royal command every eligible maiden is mandated to attend. It could be frightfully dull and boring and completely…wonderful. Whoever thought of the name Drizella? But the glass slipper is the only clue. Take it easy cluck cluck. I am patient. I’m not getting any younger and if you have lost all your faith, the first thing you need is a pumpkin.

But, like all dreams, this does not last forever. If there is any chance to set things right I’ve simply got to try. When there is kindness there is goodness and where there is goodness there is magic. But even miracles take a little time. It is all about self control and, on that stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken and everything will be as it was before. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish for will come true. Have courage, be kind and they all lived happily ever after. The end.

PS of course the glass slipper fitted. It’s a size 5.

That naughty little slave of mine told me that he has no wifi, which is a miserable excuse and shows he’s a truly disgusting worm under my foot. Doesn’t her realise that I need the money to buy a shiny black Rickenbacker bass with a white pickguard. I’m a traditional big riff rocker. Well, he’ll pay cos Aerosmith always gets your wings and Deep Purple’s Cum Taste the Band makes my home feel like home. It’s my closet and Summer is fast approaching. So what is a Mistress to do when her slave misbehaves? She goes to the pool for the day and listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd on her beat up boombox. Freebird. Well not so free if half of you die in a plane crash. So Hannah’s delightful and happenstance encounter today in the thick of the black was with a vendor of spirits…now, one can interpret that as a bar or a Gypsy Rose Lee. That, dear reader, is for you to decide. Tender reminisces of travels with gentle wayfarers of outlandish repute to the sweet sounds of Frank crooning ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ always gives Allegra artistic inspiration. A pumpkin ride, tattoos, pomme frites enticing a flock of seagulls (anyone remember what they sang?) the love train from point A to point B. A revisit to the New Odyssey, where Hannah breathed a sigh of relief to discover actually the Odyssey has closed and is in complete disrepair. ‘Phew’, she breathed, ‘Thank god I found me a new Hotel Cortez, cos now matter liberal I am, finding someone’s used knickers in my bed upon arrival does nothing for my libido. The sun shone with sporadic fine drizzle. The undercurrent of seediness always appeals to Allegra’s sensitivities. In short, twas a perfect Sunday and it was such a perfect day I spent it with you. And that’s the start of Hannah’s summer season with oh so many places to visit this summer. It’s a dark night and her fellow vamps are roaming. The whole soiree was illuminating.

Nice night for a black wedding…nice day to start again. Guess what? Allegra has got a bit fucked off with being super nice today and so Mistress Laurier is out tonight. Her slaved du jour is currently licking her bathroom floor and her slave on the telephone, right now, is petrified that his mistress is about to reveal the photos of his family…if you are reading this piggy, congratulations loser, you did the right thing by paying me. But seeing as I have just gone to the effort of having a bath, covering myself in talcum powder and pulling on that that tight latex catsuit, I really don’t think that I should waste it.

Did your last Mistress teach you good manners? Well now you’re mine. I have created you and everything you do, you do because it’s what I want. Piggy, you have no other function than serving me. I am your goddess Venus. Your ultimate loss of control. You are my male trash and my brat. I have high expectations that you will be obligated to fulfil. Do not confuse me with your therapist. you are my money slave. My paypig. My human ATM and wallet. You will thank me for being so hard and strict. Do not get a sense of entitlement. You cannot call me any time of day or night. You wait for my instruction and if you disobey me I will fine you, in my kinky swear jar. You will become my house slave in the house of my mind. Do not confuse yourself or portray yourself as a bondsman. You are a slave and that feeling of domestic servitude is to truly worship your Mistress Laurier. I have been sat on the toilet so long that there is an imprint on my arse. One that you will need to rectify through discipline and labour. So I am lifting my left foot and pointing it right at you and be happy tonight that I have got better things to do than to get my diver to take me to you. You are not good enough to be in my presence this evening but I will grant you the privilege tomorrow. So call me at midday, not before, not after.

Now fuck off and go to bed with wifey I have no other purpose for you this evening…

I enjoy creating my AW page and, sadly, my original page is no longer available but I had 51 positive feedbacks and 7 glowing field reports.

I am a courtesan and get time to get to know my suitors and build a rapport so please do not make a booking without engagement first. So dear readers, read on and enjoy the journey as much as I enjoy being your guide.

So much has happened this week and I have neglected by Beautiful page but I am super happy to announce that I have my very own website

I'd like to tell you a funny story so I will keep it simple and recommend this. 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries and I fart in your general direction and I threw him wather woughly to the floor.' No guesses there to tell you what has inspired me in films this week and this coming week my one true Love Tom Cruise gets to be my Maverick again. My song of the day is 'Strangers in the Night'.

Strangers in the night
Exchanging glances
Wandering in the night
What were the chances
We'd be sharing love
Before the night was through?
Something in your eyes
Was so inviting
Something in your smile
Was so exciting
Something in my heart told me I must have you
Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment when we said our first hello
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away
And ever since that night
We've been together
Lovers at first sight
In love forever
It turned out so right
For strangers in the night
Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away
Ever since that night
We've been together
Lovers at first sight
In love forever
It turned out so right
For strangers in the night

I chose this because last Saturday night I was in Barcelona asking for a Rome football shirt, which caused a perplexed look or two. So, as I sat in the Golfes De L'Esport on Carrer Mallorca I listened to Frank, Dean, Billie and Judy we raised our cocktails, ate tapas, reflected on the Sagrada Familia. Looked deep into each others' eyes and raised a toast to our very long future and sang 'Sweet sweet memories are made of this.'

(The sweet, sweet, memories you've given me
You can't beat the memories you've given me...)
Take one fresh and tender kiss
Add one stolen night of bliss
One girl, one boy
Some grief, some joy
Memories are made of this
Don't forget a small moonbeam
Fold it lightly with a dream
Your lips and mine
Two sips of wine
Memories are made of this
Then add the wedding vows
One house where lovers dwell
Three little kids for the flavor
Stir carefully through the days
See how the flavor stays
These are the dreams you will savor
With His blessings from above
Serve it generously with love
One man, one wife
One love, through life
Memories are made of this
Memories are made of this

My goodness. It's taken a while to recover my page, but you can't keep a good woman down for long. I am so looking forward to writing my wonderful updates, just like I have done right from the start. Lots of new content and new photos to be uploaded later today - well done to the Ukraine for the win tonight. Personally, I think Spain should have won it but, then again, three is only one angel. Barcelona, it was the first time that we met. Or was it Xanadu? Who cares, I will always be Kira.

All my love Dr Han.

Let me introduce myself (if we haven't had the pleasure already). I am gorgeous and flirtatious. Genuine, fun and sexy - I just love to play.

With delicious curves in all the right places. Long legs, silky skin and amazing boobs. Gorgeous long black hair. I am seductive, addictive and 100% English.

I receive visitors in a clean and relaxing atmosphere with a lovely hot shower if needed.
I absolutely adore my job and just love meeting new people.
Come to me for the ultimate FULLY INCLUSIVE experience (the only extra is anal)
Come see me soon and find out just how addictive I am...