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Wednesday, July 5th 2023

Casual sex doesn't have to be shallow

Casual sex doesn't have to be empty, cold, shallow. Why do people confuse affection with commitment? Can't I deliver the best of myself and receive the best just because we won't have a bond? No, it doesn't have to be like that.

He had blue eyes that looked like the sea on a clear summer day. He smelled like freedom�sign guilt, rising and all�and his skin was smooth and pale, soft and fierce at the same time. He was from some city with the funny name of Barcelona, he played the flute and spoke five languages, but the rough touch of his hand and the taste of his tongue I only discovered on that random Friday, when I was alone and I invited him to come over. my house.
That day, the will of the skin spoke loudly, and as we had been talking a lot lately about our daydreams, I thought it was a good moment for us to speak the language of the body. He had coffee. We made jokes, talked banalities, I cooked something. We saw a bad movie and then agreed that we should have seen that other one, suck. We were in no hurry.

Somewhere between a sip of coffee and an awkward video game swipe, the kiss. The touch, the shirts thrown in any way, the mattress in the living room, panting sighs and the deserved sleep. In the morning, bread with margarine and no shame, just the lightness of a good connection between body, soul and heart.

I never saw him again � he was full and light from quenching that one-day thirst, the way it had to be. Because it's like this: There is the will of the soul, but also the will that is of the body and that's it. The urge to have sex, exchange fluids, really fuck � we don't need to be prudish. But even if that is so, why separate soul from body? You look for something, the person looks for the same thing, but is that a reason not to give in, not to know a little about the other, for fear of making a cafun� afterwards? Is there enough security for sex and too much fear to know that the coffee later is a kindness and not a marriage proposal?
Casual sex doesn't have to be shallow. You can dive in fearlessly and quickly emerge into the life that continues afterward. Even the most ephemeral cases must be special in some way, after all, sex is the truest way of being you and receiving the other. I can't understand the reason for having no shame in letting the other navigate through the most intimate areas, but not connecting with your self, even for a moment.

There is no need to be afraid of affection � care for the moment does not mean care for a lifetime. When it comes to undressing, do yourself a favor � go completely naked. Committed or casual, that's what sex is. Otherwise, it's just a euphemism for solitary masturbation as a couple.