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| Monday, April 25th 2016 |
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| Facebook Settings |
I don't know what the hell is going on.
A couple of you have really kindly got in touch to let me know that because of some
changes in Facebook, my account is visible when my work phone number is used from someone's phone.
I use an iPhone and despite not downloading it I have accessed Facebook from the phone I use at work and I guess this is linking everything?
So I've been told that my personal information and photos are quite visible on there.
I have also heard from a couple of people that they've totally shit themselves because after having my number on their phone I then come up on "People You Might Know"
in all my blonde glory.
Discretion is important both for me and for clients so this isn't good for anyone.
I had someone message me using my real name, I guess they thought this made them big and clever.
Some people are assholes but most people aren't and to those of you who have got in touch with my best interests in mind I am very grateful.
Nobody needs me coming up on their Facebook feed and I don't really want anyone in my personal stuff either.
I have deactivated my Facebook account for now until I figure this out. Maybe I'll just get a cheap Nokia for my work number or something as Smart Phones are just getting too damn fucking smart for my liking, it's actually creepy!
I'm pretty pissed off about the whole "breach" in my privacy and I don't know if I can reverse it so look out for a number change soon maybe
Any techies with any solutions please get in touch
Thanks
Also, my apologies to anyone whose Facebook feed I popped up on.
I had no idea
Peace Out
Xxx |
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| Saturday, April 23rd 2016 |
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| Just Do It |
BAHAHAHAHAHA
I had to laugh at my own leggings there on Wednesday.
I didn't give much thought to what I pulled on me that morning before dragging myself to BodyPump but when I sat there on my reebok bench thing feeling like a complete bag of shite knocking back caffeine and wondering how the hell i'm going to get through this without vomiting I looked up and noticed that's what it said down the side of my leg.
Do what exactly?
It's not as if I need much encouragement.
What if I have poor impulse control as it is?
Maybe Nike should rethink their strapline, I mean what if I'm considering throwing myself in front of a train or something and I look down and my leg is telling me to Just Do It?
And what about other people who are triggered by this kind of encouragement?
What if you're going about feeling a bit homicidal that day , maybe you're coming off your meds or haven't had enough decent quality coffee that morning and you see Just Do It on someone's leg. You'd take it as a sign from the universe and just go clean buck mad wouldn't you?
I think it would be sensible for Nike to change Just Do It to, "Take a Deep Breath and Think About The Consequences before you take Irreversible Action that you Might Live to Regret"
Speaking of irreversible action... after being asleep for two days on my return from London on Tuesday evening I get this Reminder Text telling me not to forget about my appointment at a certain Beauty Salon near where I live.
I couldn't for the life of me recall making any such appointment, surely it's a mistake I thought.
I wracked my brains and wondered if i'd actually managed to get an appointment with the famous eyebrow lady and if this was the case then I definitely wanted to go.
She only visits this particular area once a month and when she does she's always booked up , i've literally been trying to get an appointment with her for about a year now.
(I have never made any secret about my extreme vanity, have I? no)
I still had absolutely no recollection of making any such appointment, must have been hammered or something or maybe i am an actual schizo and my alter ego decided I needed eyebrow tattoos but when i phoned the next day I was indeed scheduled in for some "semi-permanent eyebrows".
Well.
I had no idea what I was in for but to cut a long story short I now have eyebrows tattooed onto my head.
By Wednesday i was only coming round from the weekend and feeling half functional again after surviving BodyPump but next thing i knew i literally had a tattoo gun on my head carving out some eyebrows.
When she held up the mirror and showed me my new eyebrows I did a total woman at the hairdresser thing and said...."um, yeh they're lovely, dramatic aren't they?"
She said, now don't worry they'll look a bit mad for about a week then they'll scab over and 70% of what you see will fade and you'll love them. Off you go, and whatever you do for the next two days Do NOT put any water near them, don't sweat, don't touch them, don't wash your face and don't go near the sun. You can't wash your hair or anything,we need to let the pigment set.
But I'm supposed to be getting on a flight to fucking Marbella, I only came home to get a bit of kip and get myself gathered.
Next thing you know I've got eyebrows scratched into my head scabbing over and strict instructions not to go near sunlight and water or else I'll turn into a gremlin or something. The hottest day of the year so far and I go staggering out into the brightest daylight ever with my forehead burning like Harry Potter desperate to get home for some codeine
Was scheduled in for a Personal Training session at the gym the next morning and didn't want to cancel so I dug out an actual Nike sweatband probably from the eighties and headed on in with my Scouse Brows underneath it.
"So you want me to train you, but you aren't allowed to sweat?" my PT says.
'Yes" I say. "My eyebrows have to remain dry at all times"
"Um, doesn't compute. I can't. Its my job to make you sweat"
"I suppose you could stand next to me with a towel and dab me," I suggested.
"I know i'm not fuckin Madonna like, but in my mind I kind of think I am, so yeh for the next hour you should think I'm fuckin Madonna too"
"He said, you know what if you want me to stand beside you dabbing your sweat with a towel I will" he said.
I lost all respect for him then and there.
I said, nah don't worry about it. I get paid way more than you do for an hour of my time and I wouldn't fucking stand there and ensure anyones semi-permanent eyebrows don't get wet.....
I'd rather he told me to fuck off and give hime a hundred press ups.
I'm only carrying on, I said.
Even tho I do secretly thing I'm Madonna.
So um, yeh.
I still haven't made it to Marbs......
Not allowed to put anything on the brows til Saturday which is today when i can now go into sunlight but only with factor 50 on them.
Unbelievable palaver for a pair of eyebrows.
Think Twice before you make any appointments that you don't know you actually made.
The End.
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| Saturday, April 23rd 2016 |
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| Social Media |
Forgot to add....
I've taken to a popular social media platform to blatantly self-promote and feed my narcissism.
I'm not sure if i can reference it on here.
My profile was taken down off here yesterday when i tried changing my pictures, they were actually old ones but from what i managed to glean from reading the help section they remove your profile if they think you're being fake or something. I'm not sure if this was the case but i guess its quite flattering so i'll go with that one.
Anyway, I decided I needed a new independent platform to connect with my fan base rather than just disappear .
As i say, i'm not sure what i can mention on here without breaching terms or something. For now my profile is pretty basic, i had to start all over and i haven't got round to writing anything hilariously witty and entertaining on there so it's just a wee selfie for now till i get my shit together and come up with some fabulous pictures after a few more BodyPump classes and after my eyebrows have calmed down of course
So i have two followers already and i intend to keep them happy by uploading pictures of my tits and saying things.
I think that's it.
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| Friday, April 1st 2016 |
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| You Can't Make a Hoe a Housewife |
I'm not sure what literary genius came up with this line, I think it was Snoopp Dawg or Pimp Diddy or someone like that but you know, I wholeheartedly concur.
You really can't make a hoe a housewife. Well, certainly not this one anyway.
And if you have ever been invited into my personal space you will probably agree with me that housewifery skills just aren't up there on my list of talents.
But then again, who gives a fuck?
I've stopped even making excuses now. I used to say, Ack i've just moved in, or i'm just back from holiday or whatever but the reality is the harder I try the more messier things get so now I just accept it and pay someone to do it for me.
Makes economic sense.
So I've actually had a really good Easter!! Certainly better than last year.
I could tell you the hilarious true story about a wasp , a sash window , a dumb blonde and the fire brigade that played out last Easter but I'm sure you get the idea.
I spent three days alone with my hands in bandages with no-one to even make me a cup of tea feeling well sorry for myself.
Last Easter sucked.
This year I was determined not to suffer like our Lord himself again.
I had to get out of the country.
I got dropped off at Belfast City Airport last Saturday morning, smelling like sex. I purposely didn't shower because I'm disgusting like that and i love the smell on my skin after marinading in man all night.
Specially when he smells of cars and work :-)
Found myself with some time on my hands in a very posh part of Edinburgh, Wow I forgot how beautiful everyone is there. Popped into the Raeburn for a wee glass of wine and messaged my very very naughty friend to see if she fancied a "coffee or something".
I happened to have a bag of some seriously nice underwear with me as I'd gone shopping for a little rendezvous I had planned for Citizen M in glasgow the following day.
Next thing you know it's 6 AM the following day and the pair of us are in a tangled up mess of sexy underwear , seriously hungover and on a bit of comedown. There are some interesting photographs from that evening , i think her husband took a few pics but they will remain buried forever.
I never made it to Glasgow that day.
Eventually got there the day after and had a such a lovely time there!!
I used to really beat myself up for my bad behaviour but now I've just accepted myself. And I don't go mad too often to be fair.
Got back to Belfast last night but didn't get too much sleep again.
I honestly don't care, I think i would rather go without sleep and have amazing orgasms.
Pretty knackered today but i decided to ignore the five suitcases that are strewn in my hall and take myself out for a coffee and an aveda blow-dry.
Did the trick.
Who needs sleep?
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| Thursday, March 24th 2016 |
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| Vikings |
Jaysus, there's some ridin' goes on in that Vikings.
I was watching it last night, that bath tub scene on the last episode there... Now that, is pure fuckin porn.
For women anyway.
Who doesn't want to get shagged by Ragnar Lothbrok?
Even if he is getting on a bit.
Anyway, between him and thon big brute of a felleh, Rollo my vibrator got a bit of action last night.
I really need to replace my Magic Wand, yes take that as a hint and buy me one!!!
I am honestly the stereotypical sex mad milf.
I don't know if it's my age or if it's simply from doing what I do and just being really uninhibited..
Or maybe I was born this way. Thank you Ms Gaga.
So yeh, isnt there some great telly these days???
I'm also loving watching that Claire Underwood prowl around the place like a Panther
she brings me so much visual distraction
And of course the long awaited Game of Thrones 5 is it coming up? I am a huge fan!!!
I've even spotted some of the actors about where I live and I act very uncool when I do.
"Fuck me, it's Sir Jaime Lannister having a bloody coffee in my local Nero!!!"
Me and my mother were talking about it, she was bemoaning the sex scenes in it.
She's of that generation where they have to pretend they are disgusted by sex. I told her I rather enjoyed the sex scenes in it, I think it's an important part of what's going on and has been since the beginning of time.
Sure if you look back through history it all had to do with who was riding who.
So I gather it's Easter weekend coming up?
There's some debate amongst my new pagan community of friends I made down in Wicklow there about this Goddess of fertility, Eastera or something. I should really read up on my Goddesses what with me being one myself and all. Anyway, the eggs and bunnies are supposedly all about fertility and shaggin which is what Easter originated from obviously but like all pagan festivals it got hijacked by the Christians and turned into something else. Some of the pagans say Easter Goddess is madey-uppey and reject this notion, they reckon it's as bad as making up shite like the church however I think I prefer this as I simply cannot stand the violent religious iconography that I can't seem to avoid in this country.
Feel sorry for children who have to endure the abuse of being Subjected to the violent imagery and emotional blackmail of Jesus being crucified because they're a sinner..
What a fucking thing to tell children.
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| Friday, March 18th 2016 |
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| Cabin Fever |
I am a complete wreck.
After another day of hilarious Bridget Jones style mountain antics I now have whiplash, bruising and am in dire need of a chiropractor.
Possible even another dedicated professional from a specialist field, I'm not sure which one yet.
I actually had a massage a couple of days ago, I don't mean to sound like a snob but it was really awful.
Her nails kept scraping me, her phone kept beeping (how unprofessional!!!) and she used some kind of synthetic lotion which ended up on my face. I think it was baby lotion or some other God Awful product like that. Anyway, it hasn't helped.
I was actually in tears this morning just thinking about finishing the weeks ski lessons today.
I think I have a problem with my instructor. "Stefano".
On day one, a pigeon hole formed in my head when I met Stefano and he tried to get me to ski down a ledge.
I thought to myself just because you're young, good-looking and Italian and called "Stefano" doesn't mean you can go around doing what you like.....Last year I had Sergio and Stefano is no Sergio
You'd think I could come up with some porn with all these Italian ski instructors and a hot milf (that's me by the way) but no.
The shenanigans on the slopes this year between me and Stefano have been anything but sexy.
I've tumbled, skidded, got hit round the head with a tow, assailed by a flying snowboarder, shouted at by chairlift people, came head first down an entire blue run in inverted star fish pose, I just can't take it any more.
Fuck ski-ing, Fuck this mountain and fuck Stefano.
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| Friday, March 18th 2016 |
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| Cabin Fever |
I am a complete wreck.
After another day of hilarious Bridget Jones style mountain antics I now have whiplash, bruising and am in dire need of a chiropractor.
Possibly a even the attention of another dedicated professional from a specialist field, I'm not sure which one yet.
I actually had a massage a couple of days ago, I don't mean to sound like a snob but it was really awful.
Her nails kept scraping me, her phone kept beeping (how unprofessional!!!) and she used some kind of synthetic lotion which ended up on my face. I think it was baby lotion or some other God Awful product like that. Anyway, it hasn't helped.
I was actually in tears this morning just thinking about finishing the weeks ski lessons today.
I think I have a problem with my instructor. "Stefano".
On day one, a pigeon hole formed in my head when I met Stefano and he tried to get me to ski down a ledge.
I thought to myself just because you're young, good-looking and Italian and called "Stefano" doesn't mean you can go around doing what you like.....Last year I had Sergio and Stefano is no Sergio
You'd think I could come up with some porn with all these Italian ski instructors and a hot milf (that's me by the way) but no.
The shenanigans on the slopes this year between me and Stefano have been anything but sexy.
I've tumbled, skidded, got hit round the head with a tow, assailed by a flying snowboarder, shouted at by chairlift people, came head first down an entire blue run in inverted star fish pose, I just can't take it any more.
Fuck ski-ing, Fuck this mountain and fuck Stefano.
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| Monday, March 14th 2016 |
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| Mountains, Mantras and the Chalet of Shamelessness |
So last weekend I was in the mountains of Wicklow, this weekend I'm in the Alps!
So many mountains in my life!!!!
I don't mind saying so myself that I am looking sexy on the slopes this year!!!
Even tho when they were dividing my group into two depending on capability I suspect I ended up in the crap group.
I blame this entirely on another lady who kept ski-ing backwards into me after we set off on a fairly horizontal trajectory. She literally just wouldn't leave me alone.
"Hello" I said. "You appear to like me"
I did sympathise with her, it's a rather unusual social scenario when your body is sliding uncontrollably into the personal space of another human being you've never clapped eyes on before and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
"Um sorry" she sez.
"You know I think we're going to end up in the crap group now" I said.
"But given that I can't get these fucking things to work either we probably belong there"
So we arrived about ten minutes later to where the group was waiting huffing and puffing. There are many times on my life when i deeply regret not spending 3 hours a day doing yoga and pilates and yesterday was one of them.
I'm writing this at 6AM here in France, I'm up early because of the excitement of the coffee percolator, I packed it up last night in anticipation of the morning.
I'm so addicted to coffee I sometimes get excited about being able to drink it the night before.
Also I was just too fucked last night to do anything but go to bed at 9.
I thought I was fairly fit given the shenanigans I get up to but the thing about mountains is that they're really really fucking big.
I mean, they're actual literal mountains. That thought did occur to me when I took my skis off and sat down half way down it yesterday.
I'd been in lessons til lunch for two and a half hours then I met up with my little modern family unit somewhere up the mountain. I'd been on a couple of cable cars so hadn't a clue where we were or high up we were.
We were advised both by my ski instructor and the experienced ski-ers amongst my little group to get an egg down to the bottom whatever the hell that is but Oh No.
I was having none of it. I'm going to ski down!!! Isn't that the whole point??
"Are you sure?", said my ex who I'm holidaying with
(yes I know, we are very grown up and modern aren't we?)
It's a long way to the bottom....
Pah! I said, full of confidence after managing to pull off some parallel turns in the morning. The mental tape that plays in my head was full of praise for myself, it only had good things to say,, I had Mottley Crue KickStart my Heart playing in my imagination and was feeling like a Total Badass because that morning I'd actually started to feel it. You know? Like last year was all kind of hard work learning how to stand in those things, but this year I started to feel the silence and the sound of just skis and my own breath and when I managed some turns and threw my body in certain ways the wind picked up on my hair and my heart soared and I felt like a fucking Badass.
Do you have a mental tape that plays in your head? Mine usually tells me how crap I am but we all need to work hard to change this inner voice. We need to expect good things from the universe!!! And it's hard, it doesn't come easily to those who have had my upbringing or a similar upbringing. Protestant or Catholic we were pretty much told as children that we are rubbish, or need cleansed or we're going to hell for touching our genitals.
Which brings me to my weekend in the Chalet of Shamelessness.
Feel kind of bad for not writing sooner but I think I've spent a week processing it and I also want to honour the other people who came to that weekend with the intention of bettering themselves.
I want to be very careful about what I say about it.
It definitely was not an orgy. I had my own space in this amazing little wooden chalet with a wood burning fire. Another lady joined me the following day and I just adored her. I was very grumpy tho when we started the days group therapy, I found it very very intense and I hope i didn't ruin things for her with my negativity. Each time we took a break I ran to our chalet and just hid under my duvet on that first day.
It was based on Carl Jungs theory of shadow which in itself was pretty amazing for me as this last year I found myself reading some bits and pieces he has written on synchronity.
When synchronities occur in your own life you tend to go from a sceptic to someone with piqued interest in this kind of thing.
Maybe I'm going in to too much on this kind if blog.
Anyway, here's what happened at the weekend. We held space for each other and we shared hurts, fears and innermost feelings around sexuality. There were some couples, there were single women and a couple of single men. It was an honour to witness their stories. It is essential to be witnessed, there is huge healing in just being heard.
That is what we so desperately need. Just to be heard.
We all carry so much pain. We have all been wounded by this society that tells us we are "bad" in relation to our sexuality.
We aren't allowed to speak, we aren't allowed to say how we really feel, we aren't allowed to be who we are.
It was such a comedown returning to the real world after being in a group where you could feel anger if you wanted, where you could say what you wanted but most importantly to me, it was OK to be me. Not only is it OK to be me but I'm so fucking amazing I should be celebrated.
Not shunned.
I received support and friendship from other women.
To me, that was really nice as I often feel that I can't reach out to make friends with other women because of my big dirty secret!!
But I'm braver than those who haven't the balls to be who they are.
Sometimes I see myself on the front lines, forging a future where one day we can all just be unapologetic about who we are. Am I indulging myself too much with those thoughts?
I don't think so. I don't do much but I don't hide who I am.
Anyone who does that is brave.
And I'm allowed to indulge myself because I am coming from a place of defence.
I am speaking from a place of woundedness by both the legal system and a dark and archaic religion that causes nothing but hurt.
So whatever your sexuality, whether you are gay, transgender, into BDSM, into polyamary it takes bravery to be who you are.
They are all on the front lines.
Those who have to deflect questions like, oh won't that be difficult for children at school if they have two mummies?
Well how about creating a world where children don't get bullied if they come from homes that aren't church approved?
That takes time and it takes balls.
Or you could just pretend to the world that you're a Presbyterian who's only had sex with your wife your whole life but go fuck hookers while your family's in church.
Or you can take the rejection from family and society.
I'll take the rejection. Because this shit needs to change and we need to move away from the dark ages.
Anyway, I've tangented a little and got a little angry. The weekend did leave me a little angry but I'm hoping it was a purging and a release so I can move on and step into who I am.
Day Two on the mountain here so I'm going to do a little morning mountain meditation and some yoga.
Is it very first world to say that I really wish I'd seen my chiropractor to make sure my spine is in alignment before coming out here?
Probably would have made no difference, I tumbled and fell and did full body out of control free falling yesterday for quite a bit!!!
It's weird, I felt no fear at all.
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| Friday, March 4th 2016 |
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| COCK |
I was thinking after all the talk about pussy and the sacred sisterhood I would just clear things up in case there's any confusion.
I love cock.
The end.
Ahahahahahahaha!
I just laughed at my own joke there. Like what I did?
Cock? The end?
Bent double with mirth here at myself.
Ok, will keep this brief as I'm dashing around preparing for my wild weekend.
My new lover that I have on the go reckons I'm away to an orgy with flowers in my hair
Sez I I'm away to County Wicklow not feckin San Francisco....
And anyway he's no stranger to an orgy or two himself so he can't really talk.
I sent him the link detailing the weekend but he still has no clue what I'll be getting up to.
Neither do I if i'm quite honest but things got even more confusing when I received an email telling me to bring a torch and some outdoor waterproofs
God. Only. Knows.....
That's all I can say.
The lady hosting the event organised a lift down and all for me. So I'm meeting up with someone I've never met before and going on a road trip... Yeehawwwww!!!
I won't mention anyone's names on here but he has the same name as the Pope so I should be alright.
Did I mention I have a new lover ?
Much as I love my clients, I am a hot blooded female with needs in my private life. And I'm fucking sex mad.
When i am in a work context I am very focused on the needs of the client so I still need a bit of loving myself in my own private time.
I'm not sure how I feel about this but I am now officially a cougar
lol lol lol
Actually I don't care about Cougar Status, as long as I have a smile on my face.
Which I do!
A big one.
Anyway, I told him off down south with John Paul to do a bit of Dragon Dancing in the name of Sexual Freedom .
He says that's ok as he's watching the boxing this weekend anyway. Lol lol lol It's early days but I think I've met my match there.
To be Continued......
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| Thursday, March 3rd 2016 |
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| Dragon Dancing |
Yo!!!
Thank fuck February is over is all I can say.
I did have a laugh at some of the jokes that were going about on 'tinternet
on the 29th.
There was one in particular about some felleh getting all excited when his
lady got down on her knees in front of him, he thought he was getting a nice surprise but was gutted when it turned out she was proposing to him....lol lol lol
Apparently a lot of you men made excuses to leave the country for the day on "work related" trips for fear of getting proposed to....lol
I didn't make any proposals myself,apart from one or two indecent ones....? #boom!
I had a birthday last month which I spent alone drinking wine and singing on the smule karaoke app and having a fine old time of it to myself! I can't stay off the bloody thing, I don't know why it's so additictive, my neighbours are going round the bend but I find it a rather therapeutic way to process emotions uknow?
You can't beat a good "gaulder"....
Wonder if I should come clean with my age on here....
Nah!!!
Got some really exciting things going on this month, this weekend I'm off to a Dragon Dancing retreat!!! I have no clue what this involves but the weekend is being hosted by a practical witch and a body sexological worker so I am totally intrigued.
The cave in which my dragon dwells is a representation of my cunt so I think I'll probably sit around playing with it or something but what's not to love about that?
Speaking of playing with my cunt, I fucking love masterbating.
We all need to do more of it. What's not to love about a nice big juicy orgasm?
I particularly enjoy masterbating whilst listening to the Solfeggio tones that were once banned by the Vatican.
I think there's something in this, if it's banned by the church I figure it must be worth a go.
Particularly in combination with masterbation.
I think there's a link with sexual energy and the expansion of consciousness.
Would explain why I'm such an advanced being. ;)
What else have I got going on?
I'm off to a Sacred Feminine Celebration with a female friend I have a (not-so-secret) secret crush on so it's definitely a time of vagina worship and sisterhood for me.
Yeh, I'm turning into an old hippy but what of it?
I always knew this would be how I'd end up so may as well embrace it.
Did a photo shoot in a nice hotel last weekend but I fear too much champagne may have been consumed so God knows how the pictures will turn out.
Stay tuned for those :-/
I'm off shredding mountains in France in a week or so, so been trying to get out running every day so I can make the most of "carving up the slopes" I believe the ski frat people call it....
Can't wait!!!!
Chat again soon!!!
I really love it when people get in touch to tell me they enjoy my blog on here, thanks so much for all the nice feedback! I really love writing, get off on it so much when I get some lovin back from it :-)
Xxx
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| Tuesday, February 23rd 2016 |
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| Sexual Revolutionary |
Someone recently asked me why I described myself as a sexual Revolutionary, it was either by text or by email, I can't remember. Sometimes I get a lot of stuff through at the same time then my ADD brain gets distracted and I don't get round to replying.
My apologies.
I'll answer on here because it's a valid question and one worthy of an answer.
It shouldn't be revolutionary to see sex as positive, as something that is our birthright to enjoy, as something that should be free of shame, as something that we all deserve, as a basic human right....
But it seems to me we still live in a world where sex really is seen as "bad".
To me this is the most tragic lie that has ever been sold to mankind. Because of this lie, fed to us by religion and endorsed by sociey and shockingly the law; mankind has been forced to live in constant conflict with the self. With our very nature.
We are sexual beings.
Whether you like it or not.
I don't care how many church services you've sat through, if you're a Roman Catholic or a fucking Presbyterian you are a sexual being.
Ive just remembered I'm writing this on an escort site so I guess I don't really need to press this point too much.
If you've read my previous blog you'll know I'm no fan of the Tabloids but I'll refer to an article that appeared recently exposing the sordid, sleazy, terrible sex trade....
I think people love reading about how awful things are and papers need to sell so a good story on the sleazy sex trade is always good to shift a few copies. It was an interview with a lady who told of the terrible time she's had working in Scotland.
I was very sorry to hear that she felt damaged by her experiences and I am not dismissing her truths however this is not my experience of the industry and it is absolutely not my truth.
She spoke of how girls ended up a shell of their former selves after a matter of weeks, about the endless conveyor belt of "punters", how she was used as a piece of meat...something along those lines
I wasn't sure what to expect when I first did this. I admit, I was terrified and it was not my intention to conduct an anthropological study but I have made some observations along the way. What I observed was humanity. Literally naked, raw, vulnerable, honest humanity. The full spectrum. It was amazingly enlightening.
I get asked a lot, "do you hate men because of what you've experienced?"
The honest answer is no. I really don't.
The lady featured in the article complained that she was not "seen" or treated as a person. Well I don't think she saw her clients as people either. Because they are people.
They are people from all walks of life, in my experience they are decent people, kind people; Like every other human being on the planet they have the capacity to be "good" or "bad".
Buying sexual services does not make a person "bad".
Surely if one is of that opinion and has chosen to work in such an industry it might be an idea to re-examine ones ideas otherwise it's a little hypocritical, no?
So, am I a sexual Revolutionary? No, I think it's probably a bit premature to label myself that yet but I am definitely a conscious sex worker and this is something I want to take further. I don't know how yet but I don't intend to embrace my journey and my experiences more fully and I think that one day I might be in the position to help people move out of shame.
There is a lady who I really admire, I won't say her name on here but she truly is a revolutionary and she is so inspirational to me.
She is the founder of Bliss Ireland and has put herself out there in the firing line in order to shift the negativity that surrounds sex from shame to love and enlightenment. Sadly she lost the fight to the fucking Presbyterians this year and they managed to shut down the festival.
How dare anyone shamelessly enjoy sex without boundaries in this country?
I guess they want the rest of the world to be as miserable and dead as they are.
(Most of them are pretentious, hypocritical bastards anyway, take it from me putting on a facade for the sake of social respectability)
Anyway
I have been in touch with her recently, and I'm looking forward to attending some workshops in Ireland with her, learning Tantra, embracing sexual freedom, understanding sexual energy and doing what I feel is my calling and passion in the shifting of attitudes towards sex and the shame suffered by individuals.
Sexual pleasure and fulfilment is every human beings birthright.
I personally love it!!!
Namaste
Live your truth x
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| Wednesday, February 17th 2016 |
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| Scottish Tabloids |
Honestly, I am fuming.
A young woman was murdered yet the first thing we read about in the Daily Record
is how she "left her young son at home while she went off on a sex trip".
Yes, the Tabloids are off on another morality trip.
She was hardly going to take him with her was she???
And what's your point? Was the child left with improper care? I seriously doubt it
because if he was I'm sure the tabloids would delight in regaling us with all the
sordid details.
No.
Like every other working mother she left her son at home.
Presumably with whatever childcare arrangement she deemed fit.
What the fuck is the point here?
What exactly has she done to deserve this character attack? Because it certainly feels like a character attack. I thought she was the victim in this....
Are we all supposed to tut tut at this fact?
Can someone tell Chris Clements that it's not the nineteen fucking fifties any more and that women go out to work these days?? Or did he not get that Memo?
Is he villifying her because of the nature of her work?
Does a person's sexual choices somehow affect their ability to parent or love their children?
Well let's just go back in time and stop gays from adopting then, will we?
Is there any mention of the actual criminal here?
No.
This piece is so utterly misogynistic im actually terrified.
I hate the Tabloids.
This mentality makes me think of a bunch of uneducated, witch-hunting inbreds enjoying a good old piece of judgy judgement whilst getting off on all the sordid details.
This young woman has nothing to be ashamed of.
The criminal who put a rope round her neck and stole her life's breath, leaving her son without a mother is the one who should be shamed here. Not her.
It doesn't matter what the hell she was doing!
Doesn't matter if she went off and shagged the whole countryside, paid or unpaid.
Does that make her a bad mother?
Of course not, and if you think otherwise you need to get in a time machine and fuck off back to the last century.
Did she deserve to be murdered?
That's another big emphatic, shouty NO!
So what the fuck is your point Chris Clements ?
This mentality belongs in the dark ages.
It's stupid and dangerous.
Wonder does he have kids. He must take his to work with him when he goes off and slanders the dead for a living.
I've been to a couple of funerals in my time. They weren't saints.
But the newly deceased is always honoured and spoken of highly.
This is a time when we
remember the best of a person.
Isn't it classier to say something nice?
I'm sure she spent every penny she earned supporting her boy.
Why not say, here's a loving mother who literally did anything to support her son. Who went out and risked
her personal safety, her dignity, her reputation and in the end her life for him?
She went away for two days but I'm sure she spent the rest of the week at home doing the best she could.
She did not deserve to die and she certainly does not deserve to be remembered as a bad mother when there is absolutely no shred of evidence to suggest she was.
Totally unfair.
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| Sunday, January 24th 2016 |
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| Not Breaking The Internet |
Really?
I thought as a special treat I would post a video containing never before seen, exclusive footage of my vagina.
Just to see you all through what could be your deepest, darkest , skintest, loneliest January ever.
Possibly.
I don't really know do I?
But just in case it is: for the mere cost of a pint you were given the opportunity to purchase a good flash of my gash.
And ok, I confess I may have harboured fantasies of raking it in and shooting my next video from a tropical beach somewhere whilst sipping through a straw in a coconut but given your rather luke warm response I'll be lucky if I can afford the ferry over to Cairnryan for a can of Irn Bru.
What's wrong with ye all?
Like, Hello From the Other Side ?
Which is why Adele crossed the road by the way.
Anyway, I'm very disappointed. You're all a bunch of cunts.
xxx
(Apart from my loyal fan base who did purchase my new vagina footage , I love you. Thank you. Mwah)
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| Sunday, December 13th 2015 |
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| The Wanderess |
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. 'Time' for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.”
“I was an adventurer, but she was not an adventuress. She was a 'wanderess.' Thus, she didn’t care about money, only experiences - whether they came from wealth or from poverty, it was all the same to her.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“In my experience, when a woman's cruelty is combined with love and devotion, it is almost always without exception an act performed not out of treachery, but as a painful self-sacrifice for the good of her beloved, to obtain for him a future bounty where he would not know how to obtain it for himself, or have the courage, patience, or foresight to obtain it. Womankind always seems to be able to see a dozen steps into the future, far ahead of what men are able to see. And they have strength where we do not.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“A person does not grow from the ground like a vine or a tree, one is not part of a plot of land. Mankind has legs so it can wander.”
“Why do we mortals wonder if it is through 'human chaos' or through 'divine perfection' when the world guides us to some magical event? In either case, is not the result the same? Is the result not 'divine perfection?”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“Without knowing why or how, I found myself in love with this strange Wanderess. Maybe I was just in love with the dream she was selling me: a life of destiny and fate; as my own life up until we met had been so void of enchantment. Those things: mystery, fate, enchantment... they are things that young people offer us as soon as we get close to them. And if we're not careful, we can be seduced by, and drawn back into, the youthful world they preside over.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“Intoxication, like sexual euphoria, is the privilege of the human animal. Sexual frenzy is our compensation for the tedious moments we must suffer in the passage of life. “Nothing in excess” professed the ancient Greeks. Why, if I spend half the month in healthy scholarship and pleasant sleep, shouldn’t I be allowed the other half to howl at the moon and pillage the groins of Europe’s great beauties?”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
I saw this moment as attached by threads to eternity and woven between all the other braided moments of my past and my future.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
She is my morning, she is my evening; we have a love that blooms over and again, more beautifully each time than the last. You will see that we are not lovers like others, for whom love is both a punishment and a gift… Our love has never punished, only rewarded. Such love therein lies the eudaimonic life.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“When lovers are in love, they don’t diminish. When wanderers wander, they do not diminish. The world lays itself out beautiful before them; a rich tapestry to explore; with love in abundance. But for this, a wanderer must be favored by Fortune. Fortune is not “riches,” it is “Poetic Beauty” that comes by surprise!—like a ship coming in from Dover…”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“It’s just that I don’t believe in living a life in decline. Either one grows, one blooms, or one diminishes. I wasn’t able to imagine any way after witnessing the white nights to continue to live while growing. And since I refuse to live and diminish, I wanted to die.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“I cursed myself. For once, heaven had sent me "Beauty" in its most perfected form and I abandoned it. She might not have been a girl after all but an angel: a force to guide me on this hazardous path of life I hurry down... How can life be hazardous if it can only end in death?”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“she was free in her wildness; that she was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city. ”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“Never did the world make a queen of a girl who hides in houses and dreams without traveling.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“When she was a child,
my love carried a road map in her hand
the way other girls carried handkerchiefs.”
― Roman Payne, The Wanderess
“I knelt and locked the door. I locked the door locking the world and time outside. I stretched my body across the mattress and Saskia drew in close to me and placed her open hand on my chest, her mouth near my shoulder; her breath, my breath blew out the candle, and I held my lost Wanderess with tenderness until sweet sleep overcame us.” |
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