How Do You Do?

So... you want to know a little bit about me huh? Well, you're in luck and you've come to the right place haha!

I'm a Manic Pixie Dream Girl in a Protagonist's world! Quirky, atypical and free spirited I have a natural joie de vive.

I think the most accurate description a friend gave me was that I'm a "Naturally sunny person with a dizzying enthusiasm for life fused with a childlike sense of wonder layered over a deeply hidden streak of pure evil." 'Bout right! Except maybe not *deeply* hidden mwahaha.

I'm a bit of an English rose, pasty as fuck, burns like a lobster in the sun; you know the type. 50% Welsh, 30% Geek, 100% awesome. Nonsensical, mildly eccentric and just the right amount of ditsy and weird.

If you hadn't realised by now, I'm also the exception to the 'girls aren't funny' rule. I don't take myself very seriously and I have a wholly inappropriate sense of humour...

I really am a happy-go-lucky dork who loves a bit of a chit chat and I've been told I have an innate ability to put people at ease, that said I'm non-judgemental, fine with a bit of silence and I'm a very open-minded person.

I do not have a filter and I have the mouth of a sailor so you might need to prepare yourself for that hahaha!

If it's an authentic "Girlfriend Experience" you're looking for, step right up, you've come to the right place. With my long blonde hair and a cheeky twinkle in my bright blue eyes, I am the "Girl Next Door" you've been looking for.

No holds barred here...

I'll also quite happily tell you to "pick your socks up", "put the fucking toilet seat down" and "Oh my GOD I'm the only one in this house who ever does anything!!!" ... while passively aggressively picking up the bathmat you left on the floor... Hahahahaha.

Oh... I always keep my socks on... and they rarely match.

Incalls & Outcalls.

My incalls are based in the Highwoods (CO4) area of Colchester. There's a shit tonne of free parking here and a Tesco Extra just around the corner if you rock up early and want to pop somewhere for a waddle.

My little house is discreet, clean and homely*. There's access to all of the rooms... even the one with Nicholas the badger and Fuckface the owl.

Don'y worry, stumbling accidentally into the wrong room won't find you up against a 6ft Russian Foot Soldier! I work independently and of my own accord so there won't be any pimps or the such like hanging about!

I've always got schnacks and drinks available so you don't need to do the awkward british 'Oh just a glass of water please' thing, I basically need an IV of coffee and Pepsi Max attached to me 24/7 so if you want to join me in a cuppa please do!

I do smoke so don't feel like you need to take the morning off nicotine and scrub your mouth clean before you see me, I'd rather you didn’t bring your shit hurling tobacco monkey with you anyway. If you want to have a post coital ciggie, just let me know!

If you'd like to have a shower at mine, that's fine! I usually offer anyway and I'll tell you if you smell so we're all good haha!

*full of all of my shit

I'm usually available for outcalls with a little bit of notice - my outcall rate covers anywhere within a 30-minute drive... If you are further away, chuck your post code in your message to me and I'll do some mafffs.

15 Minute Bookings.

In a standard 15 minute booking; at the rate specified on my profile I offer the following services only:

-Kissing
-Oral
-Reverse Oral
-Hand Relief
-A Massage

Special Offer.

Back by popular demand is my infamous "Blow 'n' Go!"...

I offer a "Blow 'n' go" service for 75. If you're short on time but still want to have some fun- this might just be for you! Exactly as it sounds- just oral without and you can tag on CIM for 25 extra too. :)