WHEN TO EXPECT TO SEE ARABELLA ONLINE

Currently you can find me online:

⭐️ Tuesdays and Thursdays (8am - 6pm)
⭐️ Friday afternoons (2pm - 6pm
⭐️ Some Saturdays (8am - 2pm)

I love what I do here, all the services I provide I get real enjoyment from and I am such a genuine person people have fed-back

A few people have popped into my room and after a bit of flirty talk and naughty shenanigans if at all we have got to chatting.

People have found me easy to talk to me and very understanding. I can be very calming and my words are wise. So if this is what you after please pop by.

PS. A few people have said they feel guilty about being here - Please DO NOT feel this way, nothing bad or wrong in what you are up to, it takes guts to have an open mind xx

Are you ashamed of your kink or fetish?

It takes all sorts. That’s what they say, isn’t it?

And it’s true. Not just in everyday life but in terms of our sexual life and sexual behaviors.

We like different clothes, foods, sports, people…so why would it be any different for our sexual preferences? There’s a spectrum between ‘vanilla’ sex and extreme fetishes, and it’s completely natural that we find our individual sexual pleasure somewhere along this continuum.

Diversity of sexual expression

As sex therapists, we believe in the diversity of human sexuality and the importance of sexual expression in its many forms. But often it is down to personal experience whether others share our beliefs. There are many cultures and societal contexts that treat sexual behaviors as taboo, leading those who seek sexual pleasure to feel they are somehow a bad person.

As a result, it can be hard, if you have grown up with these beliefs, to feel comfortable with the concept of a healthy sexual relationship. Let alone to form a positive view of diverse sexual expression – one that might include an unusual fetish or alternate sexual orientation to their own.

Spicing up our sex lives with the odd sexual fetish - a foot fetish or interest in gay porn, for instance - is certainly not uncommon. In fact, research in sexual diversity generally supports the idea that there are a wide variety of sexual fantasies, activities, and behaviors enjoyed by a significant proportion of the population.

Should I be ashamed?

We often hear people confess to feelings of shame around what they deem to be an embarrassing fetish. They say they’ve tried to hide it away from their partners for fear of turning them off or scaring them away. They may even go so far as to believing that only filthy people have unusual fetishes.

Let us stop you right there.

Whether you're turned on by serial killers, sexual violence, sex in animal costumes or even an attraction to trees, just because you like a certain activity or technique does not mean anything about you as a person. You can still be kind, gentle and all the qualities you pride yourself on in your day job.

We are all contradictions in life. We might be patient at work and impatient when we’re out on the roads; strong and forthright in a board meeting and yet we give in the second the bat their eyelids and ask for more screen time. We should never feel ashamed of who we are. And, by extension, the things we get pleasure from.

The key is consent.

It’s important you stick to your own boundaries and belief systems. And it’s vital you understand how far your partner is happy to go, as well as checking in to ensure they’re still onboard.

What does the science say?

There have been several studies that show that people with fetishes, who enjoy and practise kinky sex, are actually better communicators and benefit from better mental health and lower likelihood of experiencing mental health disorders.

One of particular interest, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (1), surveyed more than 1,300 people, a large proportion of whom practiced BDSM. Conducted via questionnaire, the study looked at personalities, general well-being, sensitivity to rejection and style of attachment in relationships.

It concluded that “BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive and had higher subjective well-being”.

So this suggests that if we can get past the shame, there are some real positives to be had.

Managing the shame

You can move towards overcoming and managing any sexual shame you might feel in a number of ways.

Open up to your partner and discuss the subject with them. This may feel like a difficult thing to do but, if you can find a time when you’re both relaxed and ease gently into the conversation, you might find they’re excited by your kinks. Failing that, they might at least decide to share some of their own experiences of sexual attraction.

You can find plenty of discussion about sharing sexual fantasies and the benefits of talking to your partner about your fantasies in our article Sharing sex fantasies and other wants or needs. The most important thing is that, if you’re not confident in how your partner will respond, offer plenty of reassurance that you won't suddenly expect them to do anything they don’t want to do. Perhaps suggest watching some soft porn as a route in to talking about kinky people and to open your partner’s mind to the idea.

If you’re not at the stage where you’re ready to share your unusual fetish with your partner, make sure you’re not bottling things up. Practice self-care, surround yourself with sex-positive people and, if there are people in your life who are contributing to these feelings of shame, establish some boundaries around them. Look in the mirror and try some affirmations. Tell yourself, “I am not weird. It’s OK to ask for whatever I want. I deserve acceptance and respect.”

Remember, if you trust someone enough to share your innermost secrets and desires with them, that’s a wonderful thing. And no matter whether they respond positively, in that they’re happy to share in those fetishes, or they need a bit more time before taking part, both of you deserve respect in the way you communicate with one another on the subject.

And, if you’re particularly worried about your sexual preferences or can’t get past the sexual shame, perhaps consider sex therapy, either with or without your partner. If nothing else, you'll be able to talk things through and put your mind at rest that you are completely normal.

Or at least, as normal as anyone else out there

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. ― Brene Brown

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Stop changing your goals to meet your behaviour, but instead change your behaviour to meet your goals ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I speak to a lot of people who feel they may suffer from Hyper Sexuality or Sex Addiction. Firstly this is NOTHING to be ashamed of and things can be done to make you feel happier about the choices you make. I never judge and am always on hand to help you or can refer you to places that may help you better than I can.

I would like to say one thing - having an issue or problem around this is nothing to be ashamed about, everybody goes through something in their life time. This is 'just a thing' like so many other things that can happen. But you are worthy, you are not failing and you most certainly are good enough!! Remember that above all else.

Here is some bite size info for you to have a peruse over. Pop me a DM or come speak to me on a session if you want some help - I am ALWAYS happy to listen and help where I can. I never will judge you.

Do I have a love and sex addiction?

Love and sex addiction is intense sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviours that feel as if they are beyond your control. A drive for certain sexual behaviors, a release of tension afterward but also guilt or remorse. Unsuccessfully attempts to reduce or control your sexual urges or behaviour.

Sexual addiction is not a moral issue; it is a coping mechanism born out of the addict’s wounding. The types of wounding can be as diverse as the addicts themselves. Not all addicts are aware of their “wounding,” as abuse or trauma is often covert.

When a person is wounded or traumatised, he or she must learn to cope, often without understanding or support. In order to cope or escape their painful realities, addicts may use illicit substances, alcohol, food, shopping, staying busy, controlling others, or work.

Sex addicts escape through sex. Like a steamroller, they cover, protect, and seal the layers of their painful past. Unfortunately, the layers are never erased. The history is embedded like sediments layered in a canyon wall, linear markings of a sordid history, buried but never forgotten.


12 characteristics are:

1. Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without really knowing them.

2. Fearing abandonment and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships, concealing our dependency needs from ourselves and others, growing more isolated and alienated from friends and loved ones and ourselves

3. Fearing emotional and/or sexual deprivation, we compulsively pursue and involve ourselves in one relationship after another, sometimes having more than one sexual or emotional liaison at a time.

4. We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.

5. We feel empty and incomplete when we are alone. Even though we fear intimacy and commitment, we continually search for relationships and sexual contacts.

6. We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy. We use sex or emotional dependence as substitutes for nurturing, care, and support.

7. We use sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control others.

8. We become immobilised or seriously distracted by romantic or sexual obsessions or fantasies.

9. We avoid responsibility for ourselves by attaching ourselves to people who are emotionally unavailable.

10. We stay enslaved to emotional dependency, romantic intrigue, or compulsive sexual activities.

11. To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement, mistaking sexual and emotional anorexia for recovery. ​

12. We assign magical qualities to others. We idealise and pursue them, then blame them for not fulfilling our fantasies and expectations.

Do I have Hyper sexuality or a Sex/Porn Addiction?

You may want to look out for the following signs:

⭐️ Self Sabotage - By means of pushing people away, ending relationships, isolating oneself because you feel unworthy, like a failure, not good enough
⭐️ You feel powerless over how you act sexually
⭐️ Your sexual choices are making your life unmanageable
⭐️ You feel shame, failure, embarrassment or even self-loathing over your sexual thinking process or actions
⭐️ You promise yourself you’ll change, but fail to keep those promises
⭐️ You’re so preoccupied with sexual things it becomes like a ritual to you
⭐️ Secrecy around your behaviour
⭐️ Spending lots of money on getting a "fix"

Hyper Sexuality or Sex Addiction can be a range of behaviours that are done in excess and sometimes may significantly impact one’s life in a negative way

Porn addiction and sex addiction are not the same thing. Addiction to porn is considered to be a type of sex addiction and can manifest itself differently than other types of sex addiction. Like “sex addiction,” “porn addiction” is not an official diagnosis yet. However, an addiction to porn can lead to serious distress and consequences in many facets of life.

There are no distinct categories, but sexual addictions can come in different forms, including addiction to:

⭐️ Pornography
⭐️ Prostitution
⭐️ Masturbation or fantasy
⭐️ Sadistic or masochistic behavior
⭐️ Exhibition/Voyeurism
⭐️ Other excessive sexual pursuits

It can have profound psychological effects, like generating feelings of shame, failure, inadequacy, and emotional distress. It can lead to, or stem from, comorbid psychological disorders like:

⭐️ Anxiety
⭐️ Depression
⭐️ Problems related to impulse control and emotion dysregulation
⭐️ Obsessive-Compulsive type symptoms

What Causes an hyper sexuality?

Sexual addiction, like porn addiction, can develop due to factors that encompass all aspects of an individual’s life. These include:

Biological

⭐️ Genes: You may have a genetic predisposition to emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, or sensation-seeking behaviour. You may also have a predisposition to other traits that are commonly associated with sexual addiction, like anxiety or depression.

⭐️ Hormones: As one might expect, higher levels of sex hormones like testosterone or oestrogen can affect libido. If you are inclined towards impulsive behavior and have high levels of sex-related hormones, you may be more likely to engage in excess sexual activities.

Psychological

⭐️ Environmental influences: Early-life environmental factors, including adverse events like abuse or exposure to sexual content, can contribute to some of the underlying characteristics that drive hypersexual behavior.

⭐️ Mental health: Anxiety, depression, personality disorders, poor impulse control, and performance anxiety might be simultaneous issues that one struggles with alongside sex addiction. Those that have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, or have a tendency toward “manic” states, are much more likely to engage in excessive or risky sexual behavior.

Social

⭐️ Rejection in relationships and social circles can lead to other, less healthy ways to find sexual gratification.

⭐️ Social isolation: Not only does social isolation increase one’s likelihood of seeking inappropriate ways of being sexually gratified, it also leads to a host of other problems–like depression and physical maladies–that can contribute to sex addictions or unhealthy sex behaviors.

⭐️ Social learning: Watching others perform a behavior, or “modeling,” is one way to learn something new–especially when you “like” or “identify” with that person. So having a friend, or a group of friends, who engage in excessive sexual activities or porn viewing can influence you in a very subtle, yet powerful, way.

ASK ME ABOUT MY SUBSCRIPTION PACKAGES

Back by popular demand - a popular one for those in politics, remember I offer discretion on all, so pop in or text me to see where this goes!

Packages available are below, the weekly to monthly differs in price due to the monthly being less intense

You can do one of the below price options, via tip button on AW Chat. The price dictates amount of contact. Chat and messages included on all

Intense Week

⭐️ £250 - 5/7 days

Relaxed Monthly

⭐️ £400 (Works out at £100 per week)


I offer a various virtual mistress packages. This is where for one week or a timeframe we decide on together, you become my submissive.

The experience is bespoke to you so we will discuss what you like and need and in return what I need and enjoy also

If you are interested please come on cam to discuss or drop me a text message - phone number is at the bottom of my profile page

⭐️ We will speak regularly
⭐️ I will give you tasks to complete for me
⭐️ We can do role play scenarios
⭐️ JOI Includes edging and denial
⭐️ My personal phone number is yours to keep
⭐️ Rules applied to you - you must obey you Mistress at all times
⭐️ Why keep it to a list? LETS DISCUSS AND THIS CAN A BESPOKE PACKAGE TAILORED TO YOU

If you are interested please come on cam to discuss or drop me a message

Domme

IF YOU REQUIRE MY ATTENTION FOR A WHOLE DAY THEN PLEASE MESSAGE ME ON MY NUMBER AT THE BOTTOM OF MY PROFILE TO DISCUSS

I have had several clients of late enjoy different scenarios with me DOMINATING THEM. I take NO shit, so make sure you behave when in my presence as ALL times

I am a natural submissive but have found that I am a pro at DOMINATING men.

I actually really ENJOY doing this too. I am STRICT mind you so expect rules to be ABIDED by.

Come and see me on cam or drop me a message to discuss your needs - I am ALWAYS happy to hear your naughty domination fantasies

Yes! You heard correctly, from November I am slowing down on AW and moving on to pastures new, thus reducing my hours down to two days per week!

I wanted to add something to my profile for the next few months saying thank you. A big thank you actually. My life totally changed when I found AW, in so many ways and I can't thank you enough for being part of that journey. You all know who you are.

People on here have trusted in me with problems, fears, anxieties and so much more. They come back time and time again to check in with me and see what's new. They have at times been there for me too when I have had moments and found life hard.

Without this platform and you, I would not have achieved all I have. I have bought my own home, which I hope in time will be a business also. I have achieved so much all because people have invested in me.

So I wanted to say thank you and let you know nothing has ever been taken for granted by me, all has been appreciated and I have always invested well and thought ahead.

Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for giving me your trust.
Thank you for helping me achieve my dreams and allowing me to trust in myself and my own abilities.


Over and out!