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| Tuesday, December 12th 2023 |
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| I maybe blonde but none of us are perfect ! |
In a few months I will have lived in the Netherlands three years and here’s a few facts, good and not so good I have learnt about Holland
The first great benefit is almost everyone speaks very good English therefore not making it easy to learn Dutch … which in itself is, even as the Dutch say, it’s one of the hardest languages to learn.
With a lot of guttural throat sounds it could be interpreted as Mongolian thrusting singing … and that I have experienced !
They plan ahead for get togethers of the like I have not experienced, now I am a planner and forward thinker but just the other day a friend and I were trying to agree a time to meet for drinks and bites (nibbles) we agreed 3 weeks on Thursday !
Now what I have come to learn is by hell or high water they will be there at the place and time agreed … but as I said it’s impossible to plan that far ahead when self employed and will pencil in and confirm a few days prior
Trainers/sneakers are a national foot wear for almost every occasion, even if wearing a beautiful dress, I resisted temptation for almost two years but now fancy trainers, with a sparkle are my staple go to footwear … the main reason being you do a lot of walking and the pavements are somewhat bumpy and uneven
They are very forward speaking, to almost the point of being very blunt, I am not saying I am not but as English, we tend to flower it up in the hope of not upsetting anyone at all
Finally, and probably the Dutch are extremely polite and helpful, with many pleases, thank you, well wishes for different parts of the day .. Leaving a store can take a while lol
How refreshing though, takes you back to an era in England where everyone was friendly:)
Until the next time
Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining
Everyone smiles in the same language. – George Carlin |
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| Friday, June 16th 2023 |
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| the best things come in small packages |
It was a surprisingly sunny December morning,
I descended the three flights of stairs to my outdoor post box, retrieved a couple of letters, and saw a rather squashed parcel with many stickers on and a slightly torn plastic envelope
Upon opening the parcel I saw it was a beautiful latte-coloured bra from a company in the UK,
I read the accompanying note and thought how lovely of them to send me another bra for collaboration on my youtube
A while later, during breakfast, it occurred to me that the bra company had not previously mailed as they usually did when sending out, so I messaged them on Instagram
The owner replied as per usual pretty swift response and says no, they hadn’t sent anything
As I was putting the envelope in the shredding bin, I noticed it had a June post work of the same year and a customs fee of €8.45
Oh wait, I recall that figure .. Quickly grabbed my ledgers for the business, and hurrying quickly to June payments I saw €8.45 to NL customs for a parcel I never received and then recalled a conversation with the bra company back in June for the same bra
It had taken 6 months to arrive after I paid customs, obviously, I assumed it had got lost in the post and the company said they had claimed the bra cost back from the post office
So I was very pleased to contact Knickerlocker and say guess what? After 6 months the bra you sent me turned up and I will use it for the first episode of the new series of The Big Cup bras in the new year
I did contact PostNL and received back my initial customs fee plus as a gesture of goodwill a €15 euro post office credit :)
So there you go, the moral of the story sometimes things do appear when you least expect
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| Sunday, February 19th 2023 |
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| Why is adult industry not taken as a serious busin |
For 18 years I have been involved in the adult industry, now a days all online but for 15 years I was an escort, gentleman paid for my time
When I first began meets I did a lot of research about the whole business, safety, security and legalities
The CPS (Crown prosecution service) state escorting for payment between two consenting adults is legal
There are of course, a couple of areas that are illegal, running a brothel and soliciting on the street
My next port of call was the Inland revenue, collector of taxes to clarify the tax liability on escorting
It was a very straightforward answer, yes it’s taxed
So, I am sure you can guess the next question ?
If as the government say, if it’s legal and taxable then why is it so difficult to deal with institutions
Let me give you some examples
UK banks - I opened a business account with a well known high street bank, all went well for a few years but then out of the blue I got a letter asking me to prove my income as there appeared to be anomalies on my account
Over a phone conversation they wanted to know what the many regular payments in of £50/£100 showing weekly - these were deposits for meets, but couldn’t tell them so gave them reasons why, all seemed fine but a week later another letter advising under the money laundering laws my bank account would be closed within two months , the letter went on to say without further proof from me they ‘assume’ I am doing something illegal !
Banks are not the only institution to have this view, renting a property can also be thwart with difficulties
Over the years I have been asked to leave two apartments,
Even though I specifically said I was running an online business
Did you know in the UK, on your AST, rental lease is a morality clause ? Although your morals and mine may be very different
And here’s a bizarre fact …
The Inland revenue don’t allow you to have a limited company as a sex worker !
Apparently a Limited company is ‘a body in it’s self’ and thus can’t profit from sex work !
So I was left with no choice to give my business a ‘front’ so to speak, and that is how my YouTube channel came to be
So, to all establishments,
I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I do, that’s your choice, but as long as the UK government accept it’s a business, a fully bona fida business, registered with the Inland revenue and tax is paid shouldn’t all institutions accept this too ? You can’t have it all …
Finally did you know the adult industry contribution to the UK government ‘pot’ in 2015 was 5.9 billion pounds
Until the next time …
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less”
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| Sunday, February 19th 2023 |
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| I maybe blonde but ….but love good vibrations |
A Valentines story from yesteryear …
Many years ago, me and the husband went out for dinner, all dressed up, he was wear dark grey high waisted suit trousers, crisp shirt and blazer, me … a black full skirted retro dress with plunging neckline, stockings and heels … for a bit of fun and because we liked a little spicy fun now and again we decided to try a new toy called a love egg with a remote control … so let me explain this is inserted in side me ! He has a remote control that starts it buzzing and can lower or higher the vibrations
If you are shy best to stop reading now :))
First we had drinks, discussing the menu and the toy came to life with a little low vibrate and was very pleasant … my cocktail arrived and wrapped my lips around the straw, sucked and at the moment the buzz ramped up and I nearly chocked, started to cough as the alcohol went down the wrong way but the buzzing, eventually I pulled my self together, jiggled in my seat, composing myself and then my body got to use the feeling fizzing away between my legs
During the main course the vibrations suddenly stopped and I looked up to see him smiling … be careful what you wish for, he said and we laughed
I am not really a dessert person but when anything with lemon comes up then it’s usually a winner and it certainly was as I love a lemon curd soufflé, ordered a JD & coke, sat back and relaxed
Oh my if I only knew what was to come … !
Just then the buzzing restarted and ramped up to a high level without warning ! I jiggled in my seat and tried to concentrate on the drink and thoughts of lemon soufflé only to feel the vibrations increase hugely …
I looked up with huge eyes and mouthed lower it please, he smiled and sat there … the intensity was becoming distracting and I was sure you could hear the buzz … so I said again, in a low but quite urgent voice, turn it down, he fumbled in his pocket and I could see him pressing vigorously but alas to no avail … the controllers button functions had stopped working
With only one decision left I rose to my feet and became the long jiggle to the bathroom, heels are tricky to walk in on marble floor at the best of times, combined with couple of drinks .. I felt like Bambi on ice lol
Eventually made to the ladies and fled into a cubicle, pulled up my dress so quick and grabbed the cord pulling out the toy, and gave out the loudest moan of relief just as someone entered the bathroom ! No idea what she thought but I didn’t care :)) after a little tidy up, washed hands and applied lipstick
Walked back to the table with a lot more elegance and continued with dinner and a much more relaxed evening … all my husband did was laugh all evening … the toy went in the bin
Until the next time
Stressed is dessert spelled backwards
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| Tuesday, May 31st 2022 |
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| I love big vegetables |
A funny thing happened at the market today …
I have to say Dutch markets are amazing, with an abundance of brightly coloured vegetables and fruit, locally grown and from further afield
Many Far Eastern, and Indonesian foods, it’s such a big part of Dutch life
…. But the vegetable in question was red cabbage, such a versatile little number, pickled, cooked with apple, or shredded in salads
The best stall is in my city twice a week come rain, shine, and nearly all through lockdown
The team who runs it are so friendly and helpful, and I think I may have taught them a thing or two about English pronunciation lol
So there I was wandering around and saw this huge red cabbage, not ideally viable as would, unfortunately, waste to much, and asked if they would cut it in half … I have seen them do this with huge pumpkins/squash, etc
Alas, not meant to be, the boss said no :(
‘Oh’ I said, ‘it’s not often I would say this
But …. ‘It’s too big for me! ‘
It was out my mouth before I realised and then winked at the guy and he just fell about laughing
Until the next time
Of course size matters, who wants a small glass of wine 🍷 |
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| Tuesday, May 31st 2022 |
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| My Desert island discs |
Desert island discs is a radio program on UK BBC Radio 4, it was the first broadcast on BBC Forces radio in 1942
Each week a guest called a castaway during the program, is asked to choose eight recordings (usually, but not always, music), a book, and a luxury item that they would take if they were to be cast away on a desert island whilst discussing their life and the reasons for their choices
The Bee Gees - How deep is your love
Pet shop boys - West end girls
Christy Moore - weekend in Amsterdam
The Shirrells - will you still love me tomorrow
Elton John - I’m still standing
Flock of seagulls - wishing I had a photograph of you
Hang in balance - Solo hang drum, Daniel Waples
REM Losing my religion
A book
Going to be greedy and ask for all of
Agatha Christie stories
A luxury
A video camera to record my adventure
Until the next time
You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”
C.S. Lewis |
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| Saturday, November 13th 2021 |
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| It’s all double Dutch to me |
After one whole year in The Netherlands
What’s good, bad, or neither?
A personal insight into this wonderfully flat country from a traveling digital nomad
Top things that I love
1)
On average it’s warmer
Around 5-10c hotter than The UK
Being based in the south of the country, sandwiched between Germany and Belgium seems to give a little extra warmth and easy access to two beautiful countries
2)
For a foodie, there is a huge selection of worldwide cuisine, Indonesian being very popular, everyone has their own Sate recipe
Plus the fruit/veg stalls have a huge selection of local produce to Far Eastern delicacies
3)
Public transport is top, usually 99.9% reliable with clean carriages, toilets and helpful friendly staff
4)
Everybody is very friendly,
The beginning in the middle and end of conversations, requests at bars or in a supermarket they add, please/thank you, you’re welcome and they all speak very good English
5)
Plug sockets! it’s a weird one I know but as they are two-pin they can go either way in the socket
5)
And finally …
Europe is a great location for travel ( usually that is)
With the speedy ICE train, Eurostar, and flights to almost everywhere… with everything crossed for more adventures in the coming year
And on the downside, surprisingly not many …
1)
The kitchen!
More specifically, the oven or rather lack of,
They love microwaves, combination ones so you cook and grill, most are the size of a small microwave so who knows how they cook for many?
My biggest feat was creating a Christmas Day roast dinner with an oven the size of a shoebox !
2)
Mint sauce!
I love mint sauce :)
I tried to explain what it was and the consistency
Luckily I ordered a couple of jars from a British food store on line
3)
And lastly …..
Being able to buy bras, I am a 34h and lovely colorful lingerie and it’s simply not a Dutch think big boobs!
However, at least there is the internet :)
Until the next time
If you think travel is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal!
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| Friday, October 15th 2021 |
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| Naked attraction - what a bare cheek ! |
Recently I was contacted by a production company looking for contestants to appear in a regular series on UK TV channel 4
The first time I saw this series, I was open mouthed and yes … speechless,
for my imitation of a goldfish I should have least won an Oscar !
Here is the description of the show direct from the programme …
“A clothed person is faced with six naked people who are initially hidden in booths. Their bodies and faces are gradually revealed through successive rounds, from the feet up. At each round, the chooser eliminates one naked person until only two are left, when the chooser also takes off their clothes to make the final choice”
So …
you see from waist down, front facing …
Next showing from behind, bottom downwards
Then screen moves up showing chest down
And finally shows the whole person
I asked,
“ok … so how much do I get paid ?”
They replied,
“you don’t”
I said
“hmm, you want to be entirely naked on national television for free ?”
They replied
“You will be famous and everyone will know you online’
I said
“They already do”
Until the next time
It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe |
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| Wednesday, June 23rd 2021 |
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| I maybe blonde but, when life gives you lemons ? |
Recently life has thrown me a curveball, unfortunately not a great fielder so it got right in the ***!
A most interesting observation was the many many quotes/proverbs and inspirational phrases friends and complete strangers gave me, let me share them with … you never know when one will just give you that light bulb moment
take a day at a time
even in the darkest hour, there are still only 24 hours in a day!
there’s always light at the end of every tunnel
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step
They all have a meaning personal to yourself and you take from them what works for you …
but one friend sent a whole list of funny inspirational quotes … and these did make me laugh :))
Dear life,
When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge
Caution: When someone says get a grip. Apparently, around their neck is not what they meant
And finally …
be decisive, right or wrong, make a decision
the road of life is paved with flat squirrels...
who couldn't make a decision
until the next time ...
When you decide to walk away, don’t look back
Gibbs Rule 91 NCIS
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| Wednesday, April 7th 2021 |
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| Change .... if not now, when ? |
Watching Billy Connolly talk about ‘change’
He has recently stepped down from live comedy shows, his sense of humour is still as sharp and watching the Wildebeast sketch and
the incontinence knickers one made me laugh so much… but I digress, change is paramount to life, from a rebranding of a favourite store cupboard staple to moving countries to live,
change is necessary
Change happens everyday and sometimes we are hesitant to embrace it, especially if it appears to place us out of our comfort zone
A newly packaged shower gel, tea bags and most annoying is make up, you just get the perfect foundation or lipstick and they not only change packaging but discontinue the perfect lipstick colour you have been using for years grrrrrr
I have travel a lot, lived and worked in many countries and our current Netherlands base is number 28 home !
This move was different to the rest, it was our choice, you don’t get any choice when the forces relocate you, you get to know when and where !
And the well know phrase ‘change is a good as a rest ! As the quote says … if you do the same things everyday your going to get the same results
Until the next time
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou
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| Sunday, February 21st 2021 |
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| I maybe blonde but smiling is free |
I met a girl in the park ...
sounds like the start of a novel but it actually happened during lockdown and now we have become friendly acquaintances with a similar appetite for travel and adventures
let me explain ...
The restrictions on going out during lockdown was particularly hard for me as I love the outdoors, the sun, and walking ... usually do around 30 kilometres and on a good week 40, it’s instead of the gym, it’s free, plenty of fresh air and great for thinking time
This particular afternoon I had been my local deli’s pop up outdoor shop for a takeaway coffee and a ginger and rhubarb brownie, decided on the park for a walk ... as I particularly like the Japanese garden with the tinkling brook, small bridges connecting winding paths and beautiful flowers but this day the benches were taken and so I carried on to area where there plenty of seating areas
We shared a bench, passing the time of day moving onto travel stories, exciting locations, and living abroad tips
Like my self this lovely independent free spirited blonde is also moving from the UK to a European destination before the end of the year
and ... if our stars align and we can meet up then I am sure we can pick up where we last left off
Sometimes it’s not about the deep meaningful long term friendships but the souls we meet and intertwine with on our journey through life
For me just a smile and hello can go a long way in a new place
*** and ps an update, 9 months on we chat every week and WhatsApp, talking food, travel, motivation and sometimes just mundane stuff to unload
Friends appear in the most unexpected moments and places
Until the next time
If you think adventure is dangerous try routine it’s lethal !
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| Thursday, December 10th 2020 |
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| I maybe blonde but telephone on hold music should |
As the title suggests …
this blog is all about telephone service
I have to say pre-March there were times you would wait on hold listening to dreary lift music, after 5 mins I would feel myself getting a little impatient especially after hearing ‘your call is important to us’ … but now … well, what can we say … the whole experience of telephone customer service has now progressed to a whole new level
I have to steel my self to make the call in the first place, having exhausted all other means of communication … email/live chat
Strikeout a least a couple of hours and consult the list of jobs that I have put off for months, that can be stopped at a moments notice but all the while listening to the drivel that should be put in room 101 (included in this is Celine Dion, Whitney Houston’s and anyone else that screeches away unnecessarily)
Further on I will let you know what tasks I have actually completed whilst being on hold …
Last week I called a worldwide bank twice each day, on hold for over an hour each time! By Friday afternoon I called again and pressed the lost/stolen card option … the phone was answered in under a minute? Hmmm
The trick here is - let them know how times you have called and been on hold, then mention the ‘Banking ombudsman’
Within 30 mins I had been put instantly put through to tech dept and they solved the issue within mins
And if you don’t get a satisfactory answer at this stage … look up on google CEO email address
of the company you wish to contact and write to them with all the details/dates
…. Just some of jobs were …
Starting to write this blog…
Made vegan peanut butter/banana/choc chip cookies
Edit 35 pics and 5 videos
Had a shower/applied my makeup and got dressed
Plus had two other conversations on another phone
The moral is to keep going when trying to get a situation resolved … but sometimes think outside the proverbial box
Until the next time
A positive attitude may not solve your problems -- but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” – Anonymous |
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| Friday, April 17th 2020 |
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| it’s all about the swing, isn’t it ? |
A bizarre sex fact ….
43% of golfers would trade sex for the perfect swing ! (source :national survey by Lexus )
What the survey doesn’t say is who was asked the question nor their ages ? Men or women or a combination
On one hand I would say there are many men out there who are obsessed with golf and getting their swing perfect is very high on the list … but then they are hitting tiny balls a around with a stick over perfectly manicured grass, hmmm
As for lady golfers, firstly I don’t know any but I do know a little about mature women, and when asked my similar age friends to choose between sex or sport, nearly all would opt for sport, then a glass of wine … I, on the other hand would opt for sex then a glass of bubbly
Until the next time
Did you know you can’t say happiness without saying penis !
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| Friday, April 17th 2020 |
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| Top 5 London places to visit |
Top five places to go in London
Savage garden LDN
(Formerly Sky lounge bar)
Double tree Hilton Tower Hill
The bar is on the 12th floor with unbelievable views over the Thames and to South bank and then back to The City, The Gherkin etc
The outside area has comfy seating, patio heaters, blankets and fantastic atmosphere day time or evening
Situated 2 mins from Tower Hill tube on Pepys street
This bar was a regular haunt of mine when firstly working in the City many years ago and then when staying at hotels for my business now
Great for romantic, business, celebrations and just on your own for a bit of you time
It’s busy, a great atmosphere, friendly staff, great food and amazing views
Tube - Tower Hill (central district line)
Embankment, London
I love a stroll along the Thames,
My favourite section is from Temple,
The legal district of central London
it is worth a little wander around this area
And immerse yourself within the Inner temple,
Middle temple, Kings bench walk and if weather permits a sit and watch the world go by in the middle temple gardens
Cross over to the Thames and now just amble along the embankment passing Temple pier, on your right on Temple place is a statue of Isambard Kingdom Brunel (the greatest mechanical and civil engineer)
and coming to Waterloo bridge
The river curves here sending its way to Embankment
On a lovely spring day this is so lovely to do, with views of South bank and the Thames
Borough Market
I love love love a food market
And this is so much more than that
It’s a wholesale and retail market with the amazing
Store cupboard and fresh produce plus very tasty food to buy to eat there and then
And add in a visit to infamous Golden Hind ship
Open 6 days a week
Tube London Bridge
borough market.org.uk
City of London
(at a weekend)
The square mile is an unusual place
On weekdays it’s streets are full with hundreds
Of thousands of City workers … Bankers/insurance
And at the weekend it’s dead
Apart from tourists and the 10,000 or so residents
It’s a great time and place to explore
Just a few suggestions
Barbican centre - vast arts complex
Museum of London
St Paul’s Cathedral
Leadenhall market
The road names conjure up a time of long ago …
Mincing lane
Seething street
Fish street
Pudding lane !
Camden market
Sunday morning is the best time to go
It is a complete cosmopolitan eclectic mix of stalls
Food, clothes, crafts … live music 🎶
Rucksack and good footwear helps as do much to see and do plus your right along the canal and during the summer there is a water bus from Camden to Little Venice
Tube Camden Town
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| Caramel and black sheer panties |
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| What is your starsign? |
Leo July 23 - Aug 23 |
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| What is your Primary Language? |
English |
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| What is your Secondary Language? |
English |
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| How would you describe your non-binary gender? |
NA |
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| If other, please specify: |
n/a |
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| What is your favourite colour? |
Pink |
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| Who is your favourite celebrity? |
Joanna Lumley, amazing lady |
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| What is your best feature? |
Smile |
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| What is your worst feature? |
Nose |
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| What three words best describe your personality? |
bright eyed and bushy tailed |
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| What is your favourite food? |
love scallops, Lemon anything |
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| What is your favourite drink? |
Love a little bubbly, and lime gin |
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| What is your favourite film? |
Love actually,The boat that rocked and 9 1/2 weeks |
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| What is your favourite TV programme? |
Strictly dancing, Ashes to Ashes |
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| What are your favourite flowers? |
Lilies and daffodils |
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| What is your favourite perfume? |
Chanel |
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| What is your favourite gift? |
ff stockings (secretsinlace) |
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| What is your favourite holiday destination? |
Singapore, Southwold UK |
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| What is your ethnicity? |
Caucasian (White) |
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| What is the colour of your eyes? |
Green |
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| What is the colour of your hair? |
Blonde |
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| What length is your hair? |
Medium |
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| How would you describe your body type? |
Curvy |
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| How tall are you? |
5'7" |
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| How much do you weigh? |
10½st |
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| What is your leg measurement? |
30" |
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| What is your shoe size? |
4.5 |
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| What is your dress size? |
14 |
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| What size is your chest? |
34" |
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| What is your waist measurement? |
34" |
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| What is your hips measurement? |
36" |
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| What is your bra cup-size? |
H |
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| How would you describe the size of your breasts? |
Large |
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| Are your breasts natural or enhanced? |
Natural |
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| How is your pubic hair fashioned? |
Shaved Completely |
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| Do you smoke? |
No |
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| Do you have any tattoos or piercings? |
Neither |
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| If you have tattoos or piercings, how discreet are they |
None |
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| Do you have any birth-marks or scars? If so, size and location? |
none |
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| What times are you always available? |
online daily |
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| Will you do overnight bookings? |
No |
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| List of Towns/Areas you will visit |
N/A |
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| How long are you prepared to travel for? |
No Travelling |
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| Nearest rail station? |
N/A |
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| What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you in public? |
hold ups slipping down |
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| What sort of men turn you on? |
naughty but nice gents |
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| What sort of women turn you on? |
I love to socialise only with like minded fun ladies |
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| What is the most memorable sexual experience you’ve ever had? |
.... could be the next one |
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| What is the most outrageous thing that you’ve done sexually (be honest!) |
blow job in a lift |
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| Where would you most like to have sex? |
hmmm will let you know |
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| What is your favourite sexual position? |
on top |
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| What is your second favourite sexual position? |
you on top |
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| What is your biggest turn on? |
polite, aftershave smelling gents |
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| The most sensitive part of my anatomy is? |
boobs |
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| Describe the experience (when and where) |
will tell you all about it at on a camshow, chat or a sms text |
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| What is your favourite sexual fantasy? |
always new ones to come, so to speak , lol |
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| How often do you masturbate? |
daily |
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| What sexual activity do you enjoy the most? |
Naughty teasing cam shows |
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| When is your libido at its highest? |
everyday |
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